


Our Days Are Becoming Night

by secondstar



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-07
Updated: 2011-11-06
Packaged: 2017-10-24 09:20:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 79,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/261708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secondstar/pseuds/secondstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two groups of friends travel across Europe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Steven Gerrard looked at his luggage with analytical eyes, his arms crossed, and his brow furrowed. It was open on his bed, full to the brim with his belongings that he wanted to take with him on holiday with his friends. They were going all over Europe it seemed, and he simply didn’t have enough room to stuff everything that he wanted to bring into his one allowed piece of luggage. They were leaving in the morning and he was still indecisive about a few things. Did he need a jacket? How many pairs of shoes should he bring? Will they have time to do laundry? His eyes narrowed, his lower lip stuck out in a pout. He stepped forward and took everything out of his luggage, again.

Suddenly, there was the distinct thud of feet running up the stairs, and then his door swung open: in walked his best friend Jamie Carragher. When he saw Steven’s things strewn across the floor and his bed he scoffed.

“Again, Stevie?” He asked, laughing as he moved a pile of socks over so he could sit. Steven glared at him, even if it was just for a moment before he grinned.

“I am just nervous.”

“I know, lad.”

“It’s a long time to be away.” Steven said, sighing as he refolded his jeans, stacking them in a neat pile. Steven had never travelled without his family, or had been away from them for more than an overnight stay at a friends. He didn’t want the others who were going with them to know. He was terrified of being so far from them. “Paul said...”

“Paul said what?” Jamie said, his face hardening. “You know he gives you shit. Besides, I will be there. You can call them any time.” Steven gave Jamie a small smile.

“I sound like a wimp.”

“You sound like you don’t realize how drunk we are going to be every night.” Jamie laughed. Steven joined in, nodding his head.

“This is the last time I am packing this thing.” Steven said, glaring. “Are you bringing a jacket?” He asked. Jamie shook his head.

“No, I’m Scouse. I don’t need a fucking jacket. Besides, everywhere we are going is South. Do you need a jacket right now?” Jamie asked. Steven shook his head. No, he didn’t. It was hot out, sweltering to be exact. “So don’t pack a jacket.”

“Alright.” Steven said, pulling his jacket out of the suitcase.

“I came up here to tell you that all the lads are setting up a game of five a side.” Jamie said. Steven’s head shot up, but then he sighed.

“I should pack.”

“Pack later. You won’t be able to sleep and you know it. Come on, while the sun is still up. Pack after dark.” Jamie urged.

“You’re right.”

“Too true.”

*-*-*

Xabi Alonso was shopping with his friends Pepe Reina and Esteban Granero buying clothes for their European trip that they were leaving for in the morning. They had been walking around for hours, mainly window shopping around Madrid. Pepe had bought everything he had intended to in the first few stores, and now in his boredom he had reverted to pointing out every piece of clothing that he found repulsive. Xabi started having second thoughts about inviting him along.

“Who would wear this shit?” Pepe asked, holding up a horridly patterned shirt. Esteban snorted as he looked at it. Xabi rolled his eyes as he looked at a pair of sunglasses.

“I am sure you did in Middle School.” Xabi said. Pepe stuck his tongue out at him. “Along with popped collars and ray bans.” He added.

“You popped your collar last week.” Esteban jibbed. Xabi glared at him.

“I was drunk.”

“Very.” Pepe said, walking over to them. “Are you two done yet? You have an entire new wardrobe.” Xabi looked down at his bags and shrugged.

“I could be. I want to try this stuff on though.” He said, referring to the clothes hanging over his arm.

“Yeah, same.” Esteban added. He had an entire armful of shirts and pants. Pepe rolled his eyes and sighed.

“I bet you can’t even fit all of this in your suitcase.”

“Probably not.” Xabi replied. “But I have graduation money to blow on clothes for this trip.”

“That and he wants to look good for the fellas.” Esteban said, waggling his eyebrows. Xabi turned around and punched him in the arm, hard.

“Shut up, Pirata.” He said, laughing. “But yeah. I want this summer to be fun.” He added in. Pepe grinned.

“Knew it. He is going to snag someone in Greece.”

“Or Paris.” Esteban chimed in. Xabi looked at his two friends, grinning.

“Glad you two are all for this.” He said as they walked towards the dressing rooms. “Because I need to get laid.”

“You’re right. You do. You are so angsty when you aren’t getting any.” Pepe mused. Xabi shot him another glare, but his mouth was turned up in a smirk at Pepe’s remark. He walked into the dressing room, shut the door, and immediately took his shirt and pants off, wanting to try on what he picked out. He wanted to look good, he wanted a new wardrobe. All of his clothes reminded him of his ex, about the comments he had made about how Xabi looked when he wore certain pieces. Mikel always told Xabi how good he looked, how hot his ass was, always pulling him closer, not being able to keep his hands off him.... Xabi closed his eyes, clenching his jaw.

That was done, it was no more. He had moved on, or... he was moving on. He was working on it. Traveling Europe was going to fix him, fix the hole that Mikel left him with. He looked in the mirror, smiling a little at his reflection. It looked like him, but didn’t at the same time. Still his style, but nothing like what he currently owned. He wanted it. He opened the door to find Pepe sitting on a chair with his hands on his face, squishing his cheeks in.

“Bored, Pepe?” He asked. Pepe sat up and looked at him, his eyes glassy and unfocused. When he came to, Pepe grinned.

“Look at that. It is a whole new you.” Xabi laughed at his remark.

“Not entirely.” He answered. Esteban came around the corner with a ridiculous hat on his head.

“Oh I like that.”

“Yeah?” Xabi asked. “Do I look hot?” He asked. Esteban made a face at him.

“Dude I don’t know, I am straight.” He said, discarding the hat and going in his own dressing room, since he had a bigger pile of clothes to try on than Xabi. Xabi looked at Pepe, who shrugged.

“I mean, the jeans hug your hips nicely? Do guys like that? I like that on girls.” He said, moving his hands around. Xabi rolled his eyes. “Next time bring Sergio or something.” He said offhandedly.

“Only if I want to shoot myself in the face.” Xabi mumbled, walking back into the dressing room, trying on something else. Sergio Ramos used to be one of his closest friends who, for lack of a better word, is a manwhore. Whether they went clubbing, shopping, or out to eat Sergio always seemed to be able to pick someone up. Xabi didn’t know how he did it, but it always happened. Xabi didn’t want to think about the numerous occasions it would happen while they traveled, since Sergio was coming as well. Unfortunately.

They were flying to Greece in the morning. Once they got there they would be joining another tour group, who were apparently flying in from England, for the entire duration of the trip. Xabi was excited to meet everyone, that they would be traveling with people he didn’t know. They would be sharing hotel rooms, trains, buses... everything.

Xabi ended up getting a few of the things he had picked out, Esteban got almost all of his.

“So we are really only allowed one bag that has to be less than fifty pounds?” Esteban asked. Xabi snorted. Pepe nodded.

“Yeah, you are so screwed.”

*-*-*

Steven didn’t sleep at all, tossing and turning all night. He felt like he was waiting for the world to end as he watched the clock go from eleven to midnight, then all the way to three in the morning. He closed his eyes, counting down from one hundred, then named his favorite footballers, their names barely whispered across his lips as he concentrated on his breathing. In and out, slowly. Nothing was working. He was wide awake when his alarm went off. He sat up in bed and sighed.

He got out of bed and walked down the hall to the bathroom. After using the toilet, washing his hands, then his teeth he stared at himself in the mirror. He could do this, going away. It wouldn’t be bad, he would be with friends. He would be with Jamie, Daniel Agger and Martin Skrtel. He wouldn’t be alone. There was no need to be panicked about any of it.

He got dressed, and went down stairs where his bag was waiting by the door. When he walked into the kitchen, his parents were waiting for him with bacon and eggs.

“Mornin’ lad. Made you a nice breakfast before your flight.” His father told him. His mother was sitting at the kitchen table with her morning cup of tea.

“Did you sleep at all? You don’t look like you did.” She said as she got up and hugged her youngest son. Steven closed his eyes as he hugged his mom back, holding on tight.

“No, I didn’t. I bet I will crash on the plane, sleep through the flight.” He said, sighing.

“Are you hungry?” She asked him. He nodded, smiling at her as they broke their hug.

“I am.”

*-*-*

Xabi was running late, he slept through his alarm. He scrambled out of bed when his mother came knocking at his door, letting him know that his ride had arrived. Stumbling into a pair of jeans and a shirt, he ran down the hall into the bathroom. He rushed at brushing his teeth, then ran back down the hall, making enough noise to wake the entire house. Grabbing his shoes and a pair of socks he went down the stairs two at a time, his eyes barely open. He had been in a deep sleep, stunned out of it. His head was fuzzy and he just wanted to close his eyes again. He sat at the bottom of the stairs, putting his shoes on. Iker Casillas stood in the hallway in front of him with his arms crossed.

“Over sleep?” He asked, his eye brows raised. Xabi glared up at him, pouting.

“Only a little.” He murmured. Iker rolled his eyes and looked at the bag by the door.

“That yours?” He asked. Xabi nodded. Iker grabbed it, taking it to his car. Xabi stood up and kissed his parents good bye.

“I will call when we get to Greece.” He said as he walked out the door behind Iker. He jogged up to the car which had Sergio Ramos, asleep in the back seat, and Cesc Fabregas who took the front seat, in it. “Sorry guys.” He said as he got in, then buckled up. Iker took off towards the airport.

“We have plenty of time.” Iker said, sighing. Xabi nodded, looking at the time. A little past six in the morning.

“What time is the flight?” He asked.

“It leaves at nine.” Cesc said, his legs bouncing. Xabi turned around.

“You’re jittery.” Xabi said, his brow furrowed.

“I didn’t sleep.” Cesc conceded. “I drank a lot of coffee.” He added. Iker rolled his eyes.

“Cesc wanted to sleep on the plane.”

“You’re going to crash, you know.” Xabi stated. Cesc shrugged.

“Iker stayed up with me.” He said. Xabi looked at Iker.

“You did?” Iker nodded. “You okay to drive?”

“Of course. I had coffee too.” Xabi huffed.

“Cesc, no offense, but when you have coffee you talk a shit ton.” Xabi stated. Iker laughed. Cesc kicked the back of his seat, making Xabi lurch forward, laughing. “I am not sitting next to you on the plane.”

“I don’t want to sit next to you anyways. Iker is. And I do not talk to much. Sergio is the one that talks too much when he has coffee, or speed. Remember that one time that we did speed and then we, like, went downtown and were walking around and that prostitute with the limp was hitting on you-”

“Cesc, shut the fuck up.” Xabi said, smiling. Cesc stuck his tongue out.

“Do we have time to stop for breakfast? I am hungry and you know they never really give you much food on plane rides. I don’t like buying food at the airport either because it is really expensive and I feel like I will be hungry soon-”

“Cesc.”

“- and peanuts and pretzels won’t hold me over and what if we don’t have time to get food when we get there-”

“Cesc.” Iker said, again.

“Because aren’t we like, going to meet everyone once we get there and then go straight to the sight seeing? I meant that makes the most sense, make the most out of our day but-” Xabi looked at Iker, glaring at him.

“You did this to him.” He whispered. Iker’s eyes narrowed at Xabi, but he was smiling.

“He was nervous.” Iker replied. Xabi punched him in the arm.

“You’re sitting next to him.”

“I am, he told you!” Iker said, laughing.

“Good.”

“I wonder if I would like the food in Greece? I mean I don’t really like gyros all that much, or lamb really. I just never really liked lamb. Does everything there have lettuce on it? I am not really a fan of lettuce-”

*-*-*

Steven slept through the entire flight. As soon as the plane was in the air, he was out. He only woke when they were waiting to get off the packed plane. While he was coming to, he heard what had gone on while he was passed out. Andy Carroll had joined the mile high club, as it were, but had to text Gareth Bale when he got stuck in the bathroom in a compromising position. Apparently Andy was too tall, too lanky, to have sex in a plane’s restroom. The girl was traumatized at the fact that the entire plane saw them walk out. Andy was unphased, though, as he emerged with big grin across his face.

Raul Meireles was made to switch seats with John Terry because he was sitting next to a hot girl and had apparently, not been taking advantage of this fact. Raul rolled his eyes, switching with John without pause, not caring where he sat.

Steven’s eyebrows rose as Jamie finished telling him while they walked off the plane, towards the baggage claim. Steven stayed by Jamie and Raul, who had headphones in his ears, as they walked. He was in Greece, they made it. He was happy to be in Athens, happy that he decided to go through with it. This was going to be the perfect way to spend the summer before university: with his friends.

*-*-*

Xabi couldn’t wait to get off the plane. He just so happened to sit right behind Cesc and Iker, and got to listen to Cesc talk the entire flight. He hadn’t slept a wink for the entire plane ride. Xabi stood up as soon as the fasten seat belt sign turned off, wanting to get off. It was his least favorite part, unboarding the plane. The mass amounts of people all standing, touching, trying to get off but still taking their time... it was claustrophobic. Knuckles white as he held onto the seat in front of him, Xabi took a deep breath. They were about half way back in the plane. This would take forever.

He looked behind him where Alvaro Arbeloa and Raul Albiol were still sitting, watching a movie on Alvaro’s portable DVD player. They had been doing that the entire flight.

“You two know we’ve landed, right?” Xabi asked. Alvaro looked up and nodded, sticking his tongue out at him. Xabi returned it.

“Yeah, we know. We also know it takes forever for everyone to get off, so we are finishing The Dark Knight.”

“That was a good idea.”

“We thought so too.” Raul said, his eyes not leaving the screen. Xabi looked towards the exit, which was still far away. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, he would be off the plane soon.

After a good fifteen minutes, Xabi was off the plane and walking towards baggage claim, where they were to meet the rest of their group.

“That flight wasn’t too bad.” Esteban said as he walked beside Xabi. Xabi looked at his friend and gave him a small smile as he shook his head.

“No, it wasn’t. I am glad we are off the plane now. I wonder what we are doing first.” He mused. Esteban laughed.

“Probably something you will jizz all over. ‘Look at that column!’-” Esteban feigned.

“They are called capitals.”

“Whatever. And then you will be all ‘Did you see that blah blah blah and how it does such and such’-”

“Keep making fun of me. I dare you.”

“You’re the one who loves architecture. I bet you are going to word vomit when you see the what’s it called-”

“The Parthenon?” Xabi asked. Esteban nodded.

“Yeah, that one. I was going to say Pantheon...”

“That is the gods.” Xabi said, his lips pursed. Esteban grinned at him. “Don’t say anything.” He murmured as they walked into the baggage claim area. They looked around for a sign with their tour name on it. When they found it, they all gathered nearby. Xabi looked at the group that was standing by them, he was wondering exactly how this was going to be done, introductions. Just as he thought it, a voice spoke up.

“Good day, lads. My name is Kenneth Dalglish and I will be your supervising tour guide during your trip! Beside me is Vincente Del Bosque who will also be coming along. I would ask you all to listen intently, I don’t like repeating myself.” He spoke, his voice not at all unkind. Xabi looked at Esteban, a small smile playing across his face. His eyes scanned the entire group, falling on two boys who looked as if they were holding back a bought of laughter. One had a hand covering his mouth, the other was biting his bottom lip. Xabi’s breath caught in his throat when the boy looked over at him. Xabi looked back to Kenny immediately, hoping he didn’t miss anything important “- so let’s get our bags, load them into the bus and be on our way! Come get an itinerary from Vincente or I before you pick up your bag, so you all know what is what.” The speech was done. Xabi looked at Esteban.

“I zoned out.”

“Well, it isn’t like I was paying attention. All I heard is something about a museum.”

“Which museum?” Xabi’s eyes lit up. Esteban shrugged. “Was it the National Archeology Museum? The New Acropolis?”

“Dude, calm your tits. I don’t know.” Esteban laughed. Xabi huffed, but smiled. He looked around, wanting an itinerary. He found Kenny and asked him for one. Kenny handed them out quickly since he had twenty boys sticking their hands out for one. Xabi scanned the paper for the first day: the National Archeology Museum.


	2. Chapter 2

Xabi smiled as he looked at the itinerary. Esteban appeared beside him, scoffing.

“Look, a museum you mentioned. It’s as if you are psychic.” He muttered. Xabi folded the itinerary and stuck it in his back pocket as they made their way over to get their luggage. He stood next to the boys who had been laughing before.

“I’m Xabi Alonso.” He said, acknowledging them with a nod. Both boys smiled and did the same.

“I’m Jamie Carragher.”

“Steven Gerrard.” Xabi’s smile widened, their accents were thick and a little hard to understand. He liked them.

“Where are you from?” He asked.

“Liverpool.” Steven answered.

“We’re Scouse.” Jamie added. Xabi nodded. “Are all of you lads from Spain?” He asked, looking around. Xabi looked with him, nodding.

“Yeah, we are. But we’re from all over, really. I’m Basque, for instance.”

“And I’m not.” Esteban said, cutting in. “I am Esteban but you can call me Pirata.”

“Hey, Pirata!” Iker shouted. “I got your bag.” He said, pointing down to the luggage that he had pulled of the baggage claim for him.

“Sweet.” Esteban whispered then walked over to Iker. Xabi watched luggage passing by him, looking out for his. He chanced a look at Steven, who was standing next to him. He seemed quiet, but then again they were in a busy airport and had just gotten off of a plane.

“I wonder what we are doing about rooms.” Steven thought out loud. Xabi looked at him and shrugged.

“I was just wondering that, too.”

“I mean, do you think our room mates will change or will we have the same ones the entire time?”

“Lad, I told you, we are probably moving around.” Jamie said, grabbing his bag. Steven’s teeth grazed over his bottom lip. Xabi smiled at him.

“Yeah, that makes sense. How else are we supposed to get to know each other?”

*-*-*

Piling into the bus, they headed towards the National Archeology Museum. Steven was sitting next to Jamie Carragher, who stole the window seat. Steven people watched from inside the bus, glancing over all the people he didn’t know. They seemed nice, seemed normal and just like all his friends, but different. He wanted to room with Jamie, or Raul Meireles. He looked at Daniel Agger and Martin Kelly, knowing they wanted to room together. Or Daniel Agger with Martin Skrtel, since they were best friends. He looked over to Xabi and Esteban, who were talking to people sitting behind them by kneeling in their chairs, their arms hanging over the back of the seats.

“After dinner tonight it doesn’t have anything on the itinerary.” Jamie said as he looked it over. Steven nodded.

“Means we can sleep.”

“Or go out clubbing.” Jamie mused.

“What about clubbing?” John Terry asked, his head popping up from behind them. Steven and Jamie looked up, laughing.

“Want to go out tonight?” Jamie asked.

“Fuck yeah I do.” John said. “Oi, lads!” John shouted. The entire bus turned to look at him. “Who is up for clubbing tonight?” He asked. Steven looked down at tomorrow’s schedule: the Parthenon and New Acropolis Museum. Almost everyone on the bus nodded and said it would be a good idea. Jamie looked at Steven.

“Come on, lad. Sleep when you are dead.”

*-*-*

Steven walked around slowly, taking his time reading descriptions of what he was looking at as he strolled along the collections. He wasn’t sure how long they would be spending at the museum but he was tired and didn’t want to be rushed. Traveling took a lot out of him, apparently.

He was startled when one of the guys in the group came up next to him and started talking.

“You going clubbing tonight?” He asked. Steven shrugged then nodded.

“I suppose so, why?” He asked. The other boy just smiled at him.

“Just wondering. I am Sergio Ramos, by the way.” He said, holding out his hand. Steven took it briefly, shaking it.

“Steven Gerrard,” Steven said, his voice wavering when Sergio hadn’t let his hand go yet “but most of my friends call me Stevie.”

“Alright, Stevie. Want to walk around together?” Sergio asked, his voice dripping with confidence. Steven shrugged.

“Yeah, sure.” He said, sighing when Sergio finally let go of his hand.

*-*-*

“Look at my man Sergio, jumping on the summer of fucking train.” Pepe Reina laughed as he watched Sergio walk around with Steven. Xabi watched them walk, noticing how Steven’s hands stayed in his jeans pockets as they walked.

“He isn’t interested.” Xabi mumbled as he looked at the mask of Agamemnon. Pepe was still watching his friend.

“Doesn’t mean shit with Sergio, you know it.”

“Well maybe he shouldn’t be trying to fuck someone in our group. Stick to clubs or something.” Xabi said, sighing as he looked up again, watching Sergio’s arm lazily wrap around Steven’s shoulder. He closed his eyes.

“Hey, aren’t you supposed to be getting out there, finding someone?” Pepe brought up, his voice a little hesitant. Xabi’s shoulders slumped.

“Well, that was the plan. Now I just... want to enjoy myself. Maybe being single will be good for me.” He said, looking at Pepe. Pepe licked his lips and shrugged.

“You know, you’re one of my best friends so I can fucking say this so: you’ve been a dick since Mikel and you-”

“I get it.”

“Maybe a one night stand will fix it.”

“I don’t think so.”

“How do you know? I do it, it feels great. You wouldn’t have a problem finding someone-”

“That isn’t the point.” Xabi snapped, but then felt bad about it. “I know you are trying to help, Pepe. Thanks.”

“I could be your wingman.” He offered. Xabi laughed out right, then covered his mouth because everyone was looking at him, including Sergio and Steven. Xabi’s face straightened.

“Thanks, Pepe. I will keep that in mind when I am smashed tonight.”

*-*-*

When they arrived to their hotel, they gathered in the lobby where room assignments would be handed out. Xabi was standing between Jamie and Pepe, with Steven standing on the other side of Jamie.

“....Esteban Granero and Pepe Reina...” Kenny said, going through the room assignments and handing out keys. Pepe high-fived Esteban when they heard their names. “Steven Gerrard and Andy Carroll,” Steven looked at Jamie, his facial expression said everything: he wasn’t amused. “And finally... Xabi Alonso and Sergio Ramos.” He finished by handing Sergio Ramos their room key, which had to be shared. Xabi looked at Pepe, who just laughed.

“It will be a chance for you two to mend some bridges.”

“Bridges he burnt down.” Xabi mumbled as he grabbed his bag and walked over to Sergio. Sergio smiled at him, in that easy way he did like he didn’t have a care in the world.

“Looks like we are rooming together.” Sergio said, holding up the key. Xabi pursed his lips together, nodding.

“Looks like it.”

They got in the elevator with Steven, Andy Carroll, Raul Meireles, and Wayne Rooney. Xabi was pushed against the wall, Steven squeezed in next to him, their arms touching. It was a tight fit, with their luggage and the elevator was small to begin with. Xabi looked at Steven, who seemed to be zoned out, looking ahead of him.

“Are you going to the club tonight?” Xabi asked. Steven snapped out of whatever he had just been thinking about and nodded.

“Yeah, I think so. You?” He asked. Xabi nodded.

“Yeah, after I shower. I need to find somewhere to eat. We have the whole night to ourselves.”

“Food sounds good, yeah. And a shower.” Xabi closed his eyes. He wanted a shower so badly. Planes always made him feel nasty.

“Want to go together?” Xabi asked. Steven turned towards him, his mouth open slightly. “To eat.” Xabi added in. Steven laughed, his face reddening from embarrassment. Xabi grinned at the thought that Steven thought he had meant a shower together. Xabi licked his lips and looked at the floor. He leaned against Steven a little more.

“Yeah, alright. Food. Mind if I ask Jamie along?” He asked. Xabi nodded.

“I will probably drag Pepe and Pirata as well.” He said, taking out his phone and texting them. Steven did the same for Jamie. When they got off the elevator everyone had to get out to let Xabi and Sergio off, then get back in again. When Xabi looked in the elevator as it was shutting he couldn’t help but notice that Steven was biting his lip, his cheeks still pink.

*-*-*

Xabi was the first to throw his stuff down on a bed and face plant onto it. Sergio set his things down nicely and began to unpack.

“Do you want the shower first?” Sergio asked. Xabi grunted as he turned over then sitting up.

“Do you mind?” He asked.

“I offered it.” Sergio said as he sat out what he wanted to wear later. “Besides, I don’t have a date with Gerrard.” He mused. Xabi’s eyes narrowed.

“Isn’t a date.”

“Could have fooled me.”

“At least I wasn’t hanging my arms all over him.”

“He didn’t push me away.” Both of them glared at each other.

“You’re such a-”

“A what, Xabi?” Xabi remained silent as he got his toiletries out of his bag then went into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He shut his eyes and sighed, then turned on the shower. He didn’t want to fight, he didn’t want to cause anything. If he talked, he would be the bad guy. The fact that Sergio was here bothered him. It was his luck that they would be rooming together. Sergio probably thought it was funny, that they would be put together. They had been friends, in the past. Until Mikel... Xabi’s jaw clenched as he undressed. He didn’t want to think about it, and definitely didn’t want to think about Mikel. He showered quickly, in and out. When he got out of the shower, he cursed. How the fuck was he supposed to find Steven? He didn’t know what room he was in... and he didn’t get his number.

“Fucking dumbass.” Xabi whispered as he wrapped a towel around his waist and went back into the bedroom.

*-*-*

Steven wondered how exactly, that he would find Xabi and Esteban in order to go eat with them. He texted Jamie about it, to which Jamie simply replied: ‘wait in lobby?’. That seemed like the simplest solution. He showered quickly then made his way downstairs, sitting on one of the couches in the lobby as he waited. He called his parents, letting them know he made it, about how he was about to go out to eat with some new friends... He had been looking down at his hands, picking at the fabric of the couch as he talked to them. When he looked up, Xabi was there, talking with Pepe and Esteban. Steven told his parents he had to go, that they were heading out. He was hoping Jamie was almost done getting ready.

“Jamie should be down soon.” He said, looking at the three of them.

“It’s fine, we can wait. No problem.” Pepe said as he sat down next to Steven. Xabi leaned against the arm of the couch, nearest to Steven, with his arms crossed.

“Any news about what we are doing later? Esteban asked. Steven shook his head.

“I don’t know anything about tonight.”

“I would rather go to a bar than a club.” Xabi stated. Pepe shrugged.

“I like both.” Pepe said as he watched Jamie came out of the elevator, Sergio Ramos was with him. Xabi bit his bottom lip and looked at Steven. Steven looked at Jamie and smiled, glad his friend made it.

“Took you long enough.”

“Ran into Sergio, told him we were going to get a bite to eat.” Jamie said, nodding his head towards Sergio. Steven didn’t say anything. The overly confident Spaniard was off putting, and the fact that when they started walking Sergio walked next to him did not bode well. He couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable.

*-*-*

They didn’t walk far before they found a place they all decided on. Piling into a booth that sat six people, they fit comfortably. Xabi got in first on one side, then Steven, then Sergio. On the other was Pepe, Jamie, then Esteban. They ordered waters then fell into silence as they looked over the menu. As an appetizer they ordered dolmadakia, stuffed grapevine leaves, which they devoured almost immediately.

“I think I am in love with Greek food.” Esteban said, midway through one. Steven, on the other hand, didn’t really care for it. He ordered a gyro, which he enjoyed. Xabi got briam, which was an oven baked ratatouille. He ate every bite of it.

Fully stuffed, they sat for a while after they were done, talking and getting to know each other a little better.

“So you were the captain of your team?” Pepe asked Steven, who nodded, smiling.

“Yeah, for three of the years I was there. I was the youngest captain in the history of our school.” He said. Jamie nodded.

“He was a good captain.” Steven’s cheeks reddened. Xabi liked when Steven did that, a lot. Xabi’s eyes drifted to Sergio. Apparently he liked Steven when he blushed as well.

“I would like to see you play. Maybe we could all do a five a side match or something.” Sergio mentioned.

“We should get a ball soon, maybe we could play when we have a free moment.” Pepe responded.

“We have to figure out what club we are going to.” Esteban said, looking at his watch. “I was thinking about taking a nap before we go, I don’t know about you guys.” Xabi nodded, he could use a nap. He was pretty sure that if he rested his head on the table, or Steven’s shoulder, that he would fall asleep almost immediately. He looked at Steven, who looked like he could do the same.

“If I nap now, I wouldn’t get up to go out.” Steven said, speaking the truth. “And I didn’t sleep at all last night.” Xabi’s bottom lip stuck out.

“Why didn’t you sleep?” He asked. Steven laughed.

“Nerves, I guess.” He said as he looked at Jamie who was deep in conversation with Esteban and Pepe. “I haven’t really traveled before.”

“Well then we should do a lot of stuff together, make sure you have a good time.” Sergio said, grinning. Steven smiled, then nodded. Xabi wanted to roll his eyes, but he refrained.

*-*-*

The club was packed, they ended up waiting in line for at least an hour to get in. It was a great way to get to know each other, waiting in line to get in. Sergio stayed by Steven, making him laugh as he touched an arm, a shoulder. Xabi was in line by Iker and Cesc, who both seemed to be able to collapse from lack of sleep.

“Did you two sleep at the hotel?” Xabi asked. Iker and Cesc looked at each other, then at Xabi.

“No, I wouldn’t say sleeping.”

“I attempted to nap.” Xabi eyed both of them, his lips pursed together. There was something they weren’t tell him, but he really didn’t want to know. He turned his head towards Steven and Sergio for a moment before dropping down to the ground.

“I see Sergio found someone new.” Iker said, his voice trite. Xabi sighed, he had forgotten what Sergio had done to Iker. Sergio and Iker and had been a couple when Xabi was with Mikel... before everything that happened. Xabi looked back at Steven again.

“Looks like it.” Xabi replied. He wasn’t about to talk about it with Iker. Not in public. Even though everyone knew what happened, he didn’t like talking about it. He wanted to have fun, he wished Sergio wasn’t here.

When they got inside, they went to the bar, ordering drinks. Xabi went about it the fast way, ordering two shots to get started. He wanted to stop thinking, to get out of his own head. Being smashed would help that considerably. When he turned around, Steven was there with a drink in his hand. Xabi smiled at him.

“You got away.” He said. Steven tilted his head, amusement playing across his face.

“What?’ He asked. The music was loud, there were bodies everywhere. Xabi stepped closer to him, a hand resting on Steven’s arm as his lips neared Steven’s ear.

“It wasn’t important. What are you drinking?” Xabi asked. Steven leaned in, so that Xabi could hear him.

“Just a rum and coke. I had a shot as well.”

“A shot of?” Xabi asked.

“The captain.” Steven said. Xabi smiled, Steven definitely seemed to like rum. He would have to remember that. Xabi was more of a vodka drinker. He wanted to know what rum would taste like on someone else’s lips. He backed away from Steven, wishing he had a drink in his hands.

“I need a drink.”

“Have you not had anything yet?” Steven asked. Xabi nodded.

“No, I have. I just... need to do something with my hands.” Xabi said, smiling. Steven raised his eyebrows and took a sip of his drink. Xabi laughed and walked back to the bar, hoping Steven would follow. When he turned around, Sergio was there. Xabi kept walking, refusing to look again.

Steven found himself over by Jamie, people watching as they drank. They had to stand close to each other so that they could hear one another easily. Jamie handed Steven a beer, toasting to the fact that Steven made it through day one.

“You did good.” He said, smiling. Steven gave him a small smile and nodded.

“Well, I am not five.” He said as he took a drink. Jamie side-eyed him, then looked around.

“Find anyone interesting?” Jamie asked. Steven looked around, his eyes landing on Xabi, then Sergio. He shrugged.

“I don’t really think that is important.”

“Hooking up is always important.” Jamie scoffed. It was Steven’s turn to side-eye his best friend. “Don’t give me that look. You like men, go fucking find some... guy. Go over to Sergio, he was obviously looking to tap-” Jamie looked over at Sergio, who had his arms around a girl. “Or not.” Steven laughed, shaking his head.

“Apparently he just wants anyone.” Steven said, holding his hand over his mouth as he laughed. “Not interested in that, at all.”

“Alright, alright. No Sergio then. Who else, I know nothing about guys being hot so I don’t know who you would-”

“Can we stop, Carra. I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Lad, I am just trying to help.” Jamie said, taking another drink. Steven bit his lip. “You’re just... quiet, you know?” Steven nodded.

“I know.”

“We’re on vacation, you should let loose a little more, fuck a random or something.” Steven glared at him. “Or not a random. I am telling you, Sergio.”

“And I am telling you: not Sergio.” Steven said, standing his ground. “I just... I need more to drink.” Steven said as he downed the drink Jamie gave him then made his way back to the bar.

A few hours later, Xabi found someone to dance with. He didn’t know them, he didn’t ask their name, he just... was there. He was there and dancing and not thinking. Thinking was officially overrated and he didn’t want to do it anymore.

He hadn’t seen Sergio for a while, or Steven for that matter. He wanted to forget everything. When Xabi’s drink ran out, he made his way back to the bar where he ran into Pepe and Steven. Pepe’s arm was around Steven’s shoulder and they both had rosy cheeks and smiles on their faces.

“There he is!” Pepe yelled. “I was just telling Stevie here about you. Did you know that Stevie... this Stevie, is the shit?” Pepe asked Xabi. Xabi shook his head. “Well he is. This guy, I LOVE THIS GUY!” Pepe shouted, his hands going up in the air. Steven laughed, his eyes meeting Xabi’s. “And you, where have you been? Have you hooked up yet?” Pepe asked, poking Xabi in the shoulder. Xabi looked at Steven, then back at Pepe.

“No, I-”

“Why the fuck not. You’re hot. You could get any-”

“Pepe, quiet down.” Xabi said, laughing as Pepe put his arm around him. Pepe put an arm around the both of them.

“Stevie, did you know that Xabi here... Xabi is awesome.” Pepe slurred. Steven nodded.

“I did. I did notice that.” He said. Xabi grinned. Pepe shrugged off of them, walking towards David Villa and Esteban. Xabi’s stumbled closer to Steven, his arm brushing against Steven’s. They were silent for a moment, looking at their drinks. Xabi broke the silence, looking into Steven’s eyes and leaning forward, his lips near Steven’s ear.

“Do you want to get out of here?” He asked. Xabi had a hand on Steven’s arm as he asked him. Steven nodded his head and licked his lips. They finished the rest of their drinks then made their way back to the hotel. They walked side by side, Steven with his hands in his pockets, Xabi’s swayed a little as he walked. “Where do you want to go?” Xabi asked. Steven shrugged.

“My room?” He suggested. Xabi grinned, nodding his head. When they got there, a sock was on the door. Steven glared at it, until he heard Andy yell ‘ride me cowgirl!’. “That manwhore.” He said, laughing. Xabi bit his lower lip, holding back a laugh.

“Let’s go to mine, then.” He offered. They kept bumping into each other’s shoulders as they walked down the hallways, laughing and smiling as they went. When they got to Xabi’s room, he paused with the key card at the lock. Xabi looked at Steven who was leaning on the door frame next to him. “Do you hear that?” He asked. Steven made a face and pressed his ear against the door for only a moment before he pulled it back.

“He has someone in there.” He whispered. Xabi rolled his eyes and sneered at the door. They were standing close to each other, eyelids heavy, hands hanging limply and almost touching.

“What do we do?” Steven asked, breaking the trance. Xabi blinked and stood up straighter. “Want to... walk down the hall a bit and...”

“Yeah... Let’s just sit. I want to sit.” Xabi said, his bottom lip sticking out in a pout. He was still drunk and wanted to rest. They slid down the wall, sitting with their backs against it and their feet stuck out across the hallway as they faced each other.

“You know what?” Xabi asked. Steven shook his head as he leaned it against the wall, his eyes watching Xabi pick at the carpet. “I don’t like him.”

“Who?” Steven asked, his mouth set in a frown. His head was fuzzy and he felt sluggish, his reactions were slow. Xabi took a moment to answer as he watched the floor, just breathing and pouting a little.

“Mikel.” He whispered. Steven just watched Xabi. “And Sergio. You know, it was all Sergio’s fault. And now...”

“What was his fault?” Steven asked. Xabi looked up as if he just realized Steven was there.

“Nothing. Things that are stupid are...stupid now, like me.”

“No, you aren’t.” Steven said, moving his legs and sitting with them crossed. Xabi shifted, then crawled across the hall and sat next to Steven, their arms touching. Steven tilted his head to the side and looked at Xabi.

“Definitely not.” He said, nudging Xabi’s shoulder. Xabi tipped over slightly, but stopped himself from falling by placing his palm on the floor.

“Good, because I don’t think I am those either.” Xabi said, laughing. “I just wanted to know-”

“I think you are you.” Steven said. Xabi looked at him, his laughter falling away as they leaned in, their lips so close they could feel each other’s breath. They were about to collide when Xabi and Sergio’s door opened. Steven backed away, turning his head to where a person just walked out, then down the hall. “You can go in now.”

Xabi looked at the door, sighing. “We have a long day tomorrow.” Steven nodded, his eyes closing as Xabi’s lips brushed against his ear, then his cheek. They pushed away from each other as the door opened again, this time Sergio walked out. Xabi glared at him, Steven stood up as he leaned against the wall.

“I thought I heard talking out here.” He said, grinning. He had a towel around his waist, his hair was wet. “What’s going on out here?”

“Was waiting for you to stop fucking.” Xabi snapped as he walked towards the door. He looked back at Steven and smiled.

“Bye.” He said, waving a hand. Steven did the same as he watched Xabi walk in his room. Sergio raked his teeth across his bottom lip, visibly looking Steven up and down before he winked then headed into his room. Steven huffed, then made his way back to his room for the night.


	3. Chapter 3

Having to be at the bus by 8:30am was difficult for almost all of the boys to do. Cesc immediately got on the bus and promptly fell back asleep. Iker sat beside him with his eyes half lidded, like a zombie. Pepe and Esteban looked like they were about to pass out, while Xabi looked the most awake. He had gotten up earlier and walked around the block of the hotel and found a coffee shop. He couldn’t wait to go to the Parthenon.

Xabi was sitting next to David Silva, sipping his coffee as Sergio walked by him.

“Where did you get that?” He asked. Xabi took another sip of the coffee as he looked up at Sergio, then licked his lips.

“I went out and got it.”

“Let me have a sip.”

“Fuck no. Get your own.” Xabi said, putting it in his other hand, hovering it over David Silva’s lap. David’s eyes were wide, worried. Xabi looked at him. “Don’t worry David, I got it.” He said smiling. David relaxed a little. Xabi turned his attention back to Sergio, his face hardened. “Next time get up earlier and get some yourself.”

“I’m used to taking your things, though.” Sergio said, smirking. Xabi had a flash of anger, a sudden thought to pour the hot cup down Sergio’s front. He grinned at the the thought, but didn’t act on it. Steven was standing behind Sergio and cleared his throat. Xabi bit his lip as he watched Steven visibly sigh. Sergio sat in the back of the bus, thankfully, while Steven sat down behind Xabi without a word. Jamie sat next to Steven and huffed.

“I want to go back to bed.” Jamie said, closing his eyes.

“Do it, it will take us a while to get there.” Steven said as he leaned his head against the window. Xabi wanted to turn around and talk to Steven, but he didn’t know what to say. So instead, he just sipped at his coffee.

*-*-*

Everyone piled out of the bus, making their way up the steps to the Parthenon. Xabi’s breath caught in his throat as he looked at it, his mouth was open, his eyes wide. It was better than he had hoped for, amazing. He wanted to walk around, he wanted to take pictures of it all. He had his camera around his neck, it was a graduation present from his grandparents because they knew that is old cheap fuji wouldn’t do for the trip he was taking. He was beyond surprised when they got him a high-end canon. He took a few pictures from a distance, but he wanted to get closer.

Sergio walked up to Steven, grinning. Steven averted his eyes and looked at the huge structure before him.

“So, you interested in Xabi?” He asked. Steven pursed his lips.

“If I was?” Sergio’s smirk didn’t leave his face. “What does it matter to you?”

“Well, hmm.” Sergio feigned deep thought, even putting his finger up to his lip as he looked Steven over, his eyes raking up and down his body. Steven felt naked. He cleared his throat. “Obviously I am not your type.”

“Obviously.” Steven whispered, sighing. Sergio’s eyes narrowed, then looked around.

“But I could be.”

“I don’t-”

“We’ll see.”

“What about Xabi?” Steven asked. He immediately regretted it by the look in Sergio’s eye.

“What about Xabi? He carries a lot of baggage.”

“Doesn’t everyone?” Steven asked, his eyes narrowing. Sergio shrugged.

“I suppose so.” Sergio’s hand reached out, his fingers played across Steven’s cheek. Steven ducked away.

“Alright well... “ Steven trailed off as he walked away. Sergio was messing with him, he knew it. He wasn’t serious in anything he said. He just needed to... he needed to be around friends. He looked around for Jamie, not finding him. He saw Raul with Esteban, and Daniel Agger with Martin Kelly and Martin Skrtel.

He walked around by himself, until he saw Xabi, alone. Xabi was taking pictures and just looking up at the structure before them. He walked up to him, silent. Steven was sure that Xabi knew he was there, but he wasn’t sure how to start a conversation with him.

“Did you know that almost the entirety of the Parthenon is in the Doric order?” Xabi asked, not looking at Steven. Steven shook his head. “Everything is except the frieze, which is Ionic. I like Doric the most, because it is the simplest. Corinthian I always thought was so over done, you know?” He said, finally looking over at Steven, his camera in his hands as he smiled, his eyes squinting a little from the sun. Steven smiled, but shook his head.

“I don’t know anything about... this.” He said, making a gesture at the Parthenon. Xabi’s smile didn’t falter, but he shrugged.

“I think I am alone in finding it fascinating.” He sighed. “I will have to show you a Corinthian capital in the city, they are ugly, gawdy. Not only do they have flutted colums but acanthus leaves... and then the frieze has egg and dart all over it and... “ Xabi made a gagging face. “But this is amazing. The work in the frieze is....” Steven liked how Xabi kept trailing off as he took more pictures. Xabi looked at Steven, the corner of his mouth turning upwards. “What do you like about it?” He asked. Steven looked at the structure.

“I like how parts of it are falling down, but some of the columns are still intact enough that you know what it looked liked. Like, I doubt anything we have built will still be around this long.” He said, looking around. Xabi nodded, taking a picture of a fallen column. Xabi looked up, taking another picture then pointing.

“Did you know that the pediments-” Xabi saw that Steven had no idea what he meant by that.. “The top of it, that looks like a roof?” He looked at Steven to see if it clicked. Steven nodded, letting Xabi drop his hand. “Did you know that the east and west pediments have different pictures on them? They tell two different stories.” He rambled. Steven shook his head. They were close together again, their bodies centimeters apart. Xabi licked his lips.

“What stories?” Steven asked, Xabi could feel his breath on his neck. Xabi took a breath, closing his eyes as he told him about the birth of Athena and then about how the west depicted the competition between Athena and Poseidon to win the honor of being the city’s patron. By the time he finished telling it, they were facing each other, with eyes half closed and hands on their shirts.

“Hey guys!” Esteban said, hopping around the corner. They broke apart, fast. They looked at each other, then at Esteban. “I am fucking bored here. How long did they say we have to look at this?” Xabi looked at his watch.

“I don’t know, but we are going to the New Acropolis Museum next.” Esteban made a face.

“Joy... more Museums.”

“You do know we are going to be going to a lot-” Steven started, but Xabi stopped him by covering his mouth.

“Don’t ruin it for him.” He said laughing. When he dropped his hand he bit his bottom lip, his eyes were on Steven’s lips. Esteban was already walking towards the bus.

“Come on! I want to head down there now, get this over with.” He said, his voice in a fake whine. Xabi exchanged a look with Steven, but started out towards the museum.

The afternoon went by in a flash, the museum was huge but everyone was free to walk around on their own, with audio playing into their headphones as they walked around. They had an hour to get ready for dinner. Dinner was at a nice restaurant where everyone had at least two to three drinks.

“Why did we have to dress up?” Wayne Rooney asked, pulling at his tie.

“Because we are going to the theatre.” John Terry said, taking a sip of his beer, his face was already flushed from alcohol consumption. It was true. After dinner they were going to Odeon of Herodes Atticus, otherwise known as Herodeion, which is one of the oldest theatres in the world that still hosts productions.

“But it is just a concert, right?” Andy Carroll asked, he was on his fourth drink. Xabi was drinking wine, which tasted amazing with the lamb he got. He kept looking over at Steven who was sitting across from him and a few chairs down. Steven seemed quiet, barely touching his food. Xabi turned to Pepe, who was sitting next to him.

“What are we doing after the concert?” Xabi asked, pouring more wine into his glass. Pepe watched him pour it, then he wagged his eyebrows.

“We’re going to get you laid.” He fake whispered, his voice not at all quiet. Xabi looked around, his eyes landing on Steven, then back to Pepe.

“No, it’s-”

“No, no. When we left Madrid you wanted to fuck someone, it is happening.” Pepe said, messing Xabi’s hair. “You want it.” Esteban leaned in, over Pepe who leaned back against his chair.

“You mean he wants to be fucked. There is a difference.” He added in. Xabi rolled his eyes, taking a very long sip of wine. Pepe nodded.

“My bad. Your lingo is all-” He made a hand gesture. “Whatever. We are going clubbing again.”

“Clubbing?” John Terry asked, his ears perking up. Pepe smiled, then nodded.

“Why the fuck not?” He asked. Cheers were heard around the table. Steven pursed his lips, finishing his drink. He wanted to let loose, like Jamie had said the night before. He already had a body buzz happening, and he hadn’t even stood up yet. He was calm, happy. He didn’t want to move, or eat. He didn’t care for Greek food, apparently. He hadn’t liked anything he tried so far. He just wanted a big basket of fish and chips with gravy. He wanted... home. His eyes narrowed, then he leaned over to Jamie.

“What does yours taste like?” He asked, pointing at Jamie’s plate. Jamie offered him his fork.

“Mine’s just like shepherd’s pie, lad. Try it.” Steven took a small bite then handed him back his fork. It was alright, better than what he ordered. “Good?” He asked. Steven nodded, picking up his own fork and moving his food around. “Here.” Jamie said, giving Steven some of his then taking half of Steven’s uneaten plate.

“What the fuck, Jamie.”

“You haven’t eaten a goddamn thing since we landed.” Jamie said, feigning that he was going to poke Steven with his fork. Steven grumbled, but ate the entire portion that Jamie gave him. Jamie ate what he took from Steven as well. Steven made a face, he wanted British food. Pasta...even Chinese food. Something familiar.

When they got to Herodeion, they filed into three rows. The outdoor amphitheatre was huge, with a permanent stone set that was almost two thousand years old. Steven looked over to where Xabi was sitting, in the row below him. If Xabi turned his head a little, he would be able to see him. Steven thought about what Xabi could tell him about this place. He had no idea what he would know about it, or if anything. All he knew was that Xabi wasn’t talking to anyone, just looking. Around him, Pepe and David Villa were being loud and boisterous, trying to talk over each other and getting louder and louder as time went on. By the time the concert started their group was well past buzzed and fully into the drunken part of the evening. Everyone around them were staring, whispering about them. Steven just sighed, going back and forth from watching the classical concert and watching Xabi. He didn’t mean to, really. It just sort of happened. He wanted to know what Xabi thought about everything.

Steven was forced out of his daze when an usher came up to their group and kindly asked for them to leave because they were being too rowdy. Steven bit his lip to keep from laughing as they walked out of the ancient amphitheatre.

“Did we really get kicked out of the oldest theatre known to man?” Estaban asked. Pepe was laughing loudly, not holding back as they walked down Dionysiou Areopagitou Street, which didn’t allow any cars on it.

“I am glad we got kicked out, that was fucking boring.” David Villa spoke up, his arm around David Silva as they walked by all of the closed shops.

“Let’s go party.” Wayne Rooney suggested.

“Nearest club, we are going in.” Jamie stated as he walked beside Steven, nudging his arm. “Right, lad?” He asked. Steven nodded as he walked with his hands in his pockets.

“Right.” He said. Before he knew it, Xabi was standing next to him, his cheeks red from the wine he had been drinking. Steven figured he had an entire bottle to himself. “Hey, Xabi.” He said, smiling. Xabi grinned, licking his lips slightly as they walked, his eyes looking everywhere, soaking in everything.

“Stevie.” He said. Steven liked how he said his name, even though it sounded the same as everyone else who joined their group from Spain.

“Did you like the concert?” Steven asked. Xabi laughed, then nodded.

“I did. The music, not so much... but the building was just-”

“Very old.” Sergio said as he slunk in between them, his arms over both of their shoulders. Xabi rolled his eyes, shrugging Sergio off of him. Sergio moved his now discarded hand up to his other, holding onto his own wrist which was around Steven’s shoulder still. Xabi eyed them, but walked over to Alvaro Arbeloa and Raul Albiol, who weren’t far from Steven.

Steven watched Xabi go easily, his gut clenched. He wanted to talk to Xabi. He looked at Sergio whose face was close to his. Steven looked at Jamie, but he was pointedly not paying attention to them.

“Steven, you know. I want to see you smashed.” Sergio stated.

“Oh? Why is that?” Steven asked. Sergio had a grin on his face.

“I bet you would climb out of those clothes of yours so fast-”

“I don’t do that.”

“No?” Sergio asked, his hand falling down and resting on Steven’s stomach. Steven bit his lip as he concentrated on continuing to walk normally. He looked back at Jamie, but he was gone. His eyes narrowed. Jamie wanted him to loosen up, to have fun. Sergio’s hand was still on him, his grin widened when Steven didn’t push him away.

“No, not normally.”

“How about in Athens? Would you do it here?” He asked, his voice silky smooth. Steven was still buzzed from dinner. Steven bit his lip, looking over to Xabi. Sergio noticed. “Ah, Alonso.” He said, the smile still not leaving his lips as his hand traveled lower, stilling at the edge of Steven’s pants, a finger hooking around a belt loop. “Forget about him, I could give you a real good time.” He whispered. Before Steven could say anything, he slinked away, walking over to David Silva and David Villa. Steven bit the inside of his cheek, contemplating Sergio’s words.

The club was packed, the music was blasting, and everyone was dancing. Pepe had a drink in his hand as he danced with a blonde girl almost the entire night, Esteban and Pirata pounded back beers at the bar as they talked to a few local girls. The dance floor was a jumble of people dancing with each other, hands and limbs everywhere and no where in particular all at once.

Bodies were pressed together, sweat dripped onto the floor as hands snaked up and down torsos. Girls held their hair as their hips moved, boys hand’s trailed over their curves, lips locked together. The temperature was sweltering and after multiple shots, Xabi was beyond buzzed, his mind fuzzy and hands wandering. He knew Steven was there with him, near him. It wasn’t until he felt hands on his waist did he register that his hands had already been on Steven. His face found the nook between Steven’s shoulder and neck, his lips against his skin. His eyes were closed as he moved to the music, reveling in the feel of a body against his. He wanted to know what Steven tasted like, how he kissed. His mind muddled, his hands snaked around Steven’s waist and slipped into his back pockets.

Steven liked drinking with everyone, he decided. He liked Pepe, Esteban, Xabi... almost all of them. He liked how they let loose, he liked how he felt. Now he was dancing. He never danced. Beside him Jamie had a girl, as did Andy Carroll and John Terry. Steven smiled as he felt Xabi’s lips against his neck, his hands in his back pocket.

His face was flushed and his breathing was short, there were so many people pressed against him, it was overwhelming. He could feel his heartbeat in his ears, his palms were sweaty and his eyelids heavy. He wanted air, he wanted Xabi to come with him.

Xabi felt Steven grab his hand. He looked up at him, confused.

“Stevie-”

“I want to leave.” Steven said, his eyes tired, his breathing short and stilted. Xabi nodded his head, letting Steven lead him out of the crowd. He looked around for Pepe, or Esteban, but didn’t see them in the mass of people. When they got outside, Steven dropped Xabi’s hand as he leaned against the wall with his eyes closed. Xabi looked around, then at Steven. “I just... there were so many people.” Steven whispered. Xabi nodded.

“I know.”

“Sorry. I didn’t really think about if you wanted to stay-”

“Don’t worry about it.” Xabi said, smiling. “Want to walk around?” He asked, his body swaying slightly as he set off. His cheeks were still rosy from the alcohol and his body was tingling and hazy. Steven nodded, pushing himself off of the wall towards Xabi. They walked in silence for a while, then Steven pointed at a building.

“What’s that?” He asked. Xabi looked up, his face scrunched up as he thought for a moment.

“I know what that is.” He said, his bottom lip sticking out as he narrowed his eyes. “That is... something that I know.” He said nodding his head. “Fuck it. I can’t think of what it is called.” He laughed, a hand covering his face for a split second. Steven laughed with him, looking around.

“Do you know the way to the hotel?” Steven asked, stopping where he was. Xabi stopped as well, looking around. He nodded, turning around.

“It’s this way.” He said, pointing down the street. Steven followed him. They passed back by the club, then continued walking. In the lobby, they ran into David Villa and David Silva who were sitting on one of the couches, talking.

“David!” Xabi said, smiling as he leaned on the couch, hovering over them. Both Davids smiled, laughing at Xabi.

“You are far gone, Xabi.” David Silva chuckled. David Villa looked at Steven.

“Did he walk the whole way back from the club?” Steven nodded.

“He was fine.” Steven said. “He even knew where the hotel was.” He looked at Xabi, who was looking up at the ceiling in the lobby, his neck craned and mouth hanging open. “I should get him in bed.” Steven said, taking hold of Xabi’s shoulders and leading him over to the elevators.

“Stevie, did you see the detail work in-”

“Xabi.” Xabi was pointing and turning his body so that he could see better and show Steven what he was talking about. When Steven said his name he stopped, and looked at him.

“Hmm?” He asked, swaying against Steven’s body, a hand on his chest for balance.

“We’re going upstairs.” Steven whispered. Xabi put a hand around Steven’s waist, his fingers holding tight to Steven’s shirt as they walked into the elevator.

“We’re going... to my room?” Xabi asked. He was beyond drunk. He didn’t know what was going on, how he got to the hotel, or why they were moving. Dizzy, he held onto Steven. He looked at Steven, yes. Yes, it was Steven. He hadn’t been sure for a split second there. His head rest against the wall of the elevator, his eyes closed. When the elevator dinged, letting them know they arrived to their floor, Xabi moaned. He didn’t want to move, but Steven started walking.

“Yes, Xabi. Your room. Come on.” Steven coaxed in a soothing voice. Xabi pouted, his eyes opening. He wanted to sit, he wanted to lay down. He looked down at the floor. He wanted to sit, so he did. “Xabi, Xabi no.” Steven said, laughing as Xabi sat on the floor, his legs crossed, then sighed. “Xabi-”

“Let’s stay here.” Xabi said, laying down flat on his back, his legs still crossed. His arms spread out, his shirt hiking up to reveal a flat stomach with a happy trail leading down...

“No, Xabi. Let’s get you in bed.” Steven said, grabbing for Xabi’s arms. Xabi started laughing, bringing his hands away from Steven’s grasp.

“You want to get me in bed?” He asked between gasps for breath. Steven froze, his mouth dry.   
“Xabi, come on. You are drunk.”

“So are you.”

“Not so much now.” Steven said, sobering up as he tried to get Xabi off the floor. His legs straddled Xabi’s body, his hands reaching for Xabi’s arms. Xabi sat up, wrapped his arms around Steven’s waist and pulled him down on top of him. Steven fell to his knees, his palms landing on the floor, breaking his fall. He was practically sitting in Xabi’s lap. “Xabi-” He started to say when Xabi’s lips met his in an open mouthed kiss. Steven gasped, his fingers digging into the carpet of the floor. Xabi broke the kiss, his head resting on Steven’s shoulder as he bit his bottom lip, staring into space.

“My room?” Xabi asked. Steven nodded. Pushing himself off of Xabi then helping him up. Xabi was quiet, but leaned on Steven, his hands holding onto him for dear life as they walked down the hall. The room was dark and empty. When Steven turned on the light Xabi let go of him, and stumbled into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Steven put his hands in his pockets and looked around. Their room was neat, unlike his. Xabi’s things were stored away nicely in his bag, as were Sergio’s. He sat on what he assumed was Xabi’s bed, and waited. He didn’t want to leave Xabi alone.

When Xabi didn’t make a noise for a while, Steven got up and knocked on the door.

“Xabi?” He asked. He didn’t hear anything. He opened the door to find Xabi sitting down on the floor in front of the toilet. “Are you okay?” Steven asked, walking over. Xabi’s shoes and socks were scattered across the floor and his hands were in his lap. He looked up at Steven, his mouth set in a pout.

“I don’t feel well.”

“Well at least you are by the toilet, yeah?” Steven said, laughing. Xabi huffed, nodding his head. Steven went over to the sink and got Xabi a glass of water, then handed it to him. “Drink this right now, then I will get you another.”

“I wasn’t drunk earlier.” Xabi said before he chugged the water down.

“No, you weren’t. It hit you all at once.” Steven said, refilling the glass. “Do you have paracetamol?” Steven asked. Xabi nodded, pointing at the black bag on the counter.

“In my bag.” He whispered. He leaned forward, resting his hand on the edge of the toilet seat, and then his head. Steven opened Xabi’s bag, looking for the pill bottle. What caught his eye was not the bottle, but a small vial of lube, and condoms. Steven’s mouth went dry, he looked back at Xabi who had his eyes shut tight and a hand over his stomach. He grabbed the pill bottle and poured out a couple, taking a few himself and downing some water, and then walked over to give the same amount to Xabi. Steven kneeled by him, nudging him slightly.

Xabi opened his eyes and sat up, holding out his hand for the pills. He popped them in his mouth then drank the entire glass of water. When he put the glass down he leaned over, putting his head on Steven’s shoulder.

“Do you want to just throw up and get it over with?” Steven asked. Xabi shook his head.

“I can’t throw up.”

“Of course you can.” Xabi shook his head.

“I can’t make myself.” He whispered.

“Do you want to get in bed?” Steven asked. Xabi shook his head. “Do you want anything else?” Xabi shook his head again, his head remained on Steven’s shoulder. “Do you want me to go?” Instead of answering, Xabi slid his body down easily on the tiles of the floor, resting his head in Steven’s lap. His hands spread palm down on the floor.

“The tiles feel nice.” Xabi whispered, his eyes were closed. Steven shifted his legs so that he was sitting cross legged, his arms leaning back against the floor, supporting him. He looked down at Xabi, watching him breathe. The rise and fall of his chest was mesmerising. Steven closed his eyes, his head tilting forward. They fell asleep, sprawled out on the bathroom floor.


	4. Chapter 4

When Xabi woke up, his mouth was dry. It felt like parchment. The second thing he noticed was that he was on the bathroom floor. He opened his eyes, squinting because the light had stayed on the entire night. That was when he noticed that his pillow was moving. He shifted his head to the side, realizing that his head was on Steven’s stomach. Xabi sat up, regretting it immediately. His head was pounding.

“God, fucking.” He whispered as he stood up slowly, stretching his back out. He looked down at the floor where Steven was still asleep. Xabi walked into the bedroom, which was empty, and looked at the clock. “Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.” He muttered as he went back into the bathroom. “Stevie, get up.” He said as he turned on the sink and got his tooth brush out. Steven opened his eyes and groaned as he sat up.

“What... what am I doing here?” He asked. Xabi spit out his toothpaste and rinsed his mouth out, quickly.

“I don’t know but we are supposed to be downstairs with all our stuff in twenty minutes.” He rushed out as he walked back into his room. Steven stood up, holding his head.

“God, what the fuck.” Steven whispered. “We’re supposed to...”

“We are checking out and putting are stuff in the bus.” Xabi rolled off as he stripped his clothes off, shirt then jeans. Steven cleared his throat, walking to the door.

“I should go then.”

“Yeah, I will see you on the bus.” He said, his voice muffled as he pulled on a new shirt. Steven’s eyes raked over Xabi’s body for a brief moment before he shut the door behind him. Steven’s cheeks were red as he walked towards the elevator. He pushed the up button, and waited. When it dinged, he jumped back when Sergio appeared with a grin on his face. Sergio’s eyes visibly raked over Steven’s body, making him blush more.

“Someone have fun last night?” He asked, his fingers raking through Steven’s messy hair. Steven didn’t meet Sergio’s gaze. “Not talkative?” He asked. Steven bit his lip, his eyes finally meeting Sergio’s.

“Were you out the whole night?” Steven asked, his voice hoarse. Sergio smiled wide.

“I was. Were you in the whole night?” Sergio put emphasis on the word ‘in’. Steven’s eyes narrowed, he walked into the elevator and pushed his floor button without answering him. Sergio didn’t move until the elevator door was shut.

*-*-*

Steven was slumped down in his seat on the bus, his knees up on the back of the seat in front of him and a hand covering his eyes. He wanted to sleep. His back hurt, his head hurt... he couldn’t get the sight of Xabi in his briefs out of his head. When someone sat next to him, he grunted.

“Lad, where the fuck did you go last night?” Jamie asked. Steven mumbled something indiscernible. “Stevie.” Jamie poked his best friend in the shoulder. Steven moved his hand and glared at Jamie.

“What?” Jamie raised an eyebrow at him. Steven’s face softened. “I took Xabi home. He was really-”

“You what?”

“Xabi, he was so far gone-”

“You stayed in his room?” Jamie asked. Steven’s brow furrowed as he nodded his head slowly.

“Yes, I don’t see-”

“Did you two...?” Steven comprehended what Jamie was trying to ask him. His mouth gaped open as he shook his head.

“No, no. We didn’t do anything like-” Steven eyes widened when he remembered the kiss. The very, very drunken kiss. He remembered how Xabi pulled him to the floor, his lips meeting his. How then Xabi just... stopped. Steven’s cheeks pinkened. Jamie noticed.

“Then what did you do?” Jamie asked. Steven looked away, out the window. He wanted to hurry up and go. “Stevie-” Jamie started to say when Xabi walked past them, sitting a few rows behind them, but across the aisle. “What happened?” Jamie whispered. Steven pursed his lips together, then opened his mouth to speak, but Kenny spoke up.

“Good morning everyone!” He shouted with a smile on his face. Everyone groaned. “Vicente tells me you are all here after the head count so we are heading off! Before we catch our train to Prague we are going to take a tour of Karaiskakis Stadium, home of Olympiacos!” He said, then sat down. The bus started off and Steven covered his face with his hand again.

Xabi wanted nothing more than to go to bed, or take a shower. He hadn’t had time. From the surprise wake up on the floor, to the fact that he had been sleeping on Steven’s stomach...he didn’t remember a damn thing. He didn’t remember much past getting kicked out of the concert. He knew they went to a club. He remembered dancing, Steven taking his hand. Xabi bit his lip, gnawing on it as his eyes narrowed. He stared at the back of the chair that was in front of him, trying to remember. He couldn’t. He didn’t know how he ended up on the floor of his bathroom. He didn’t know, and it bothered him.

He hoped that nothing happened. It wasn’t that he didn’t want something to happen, he did, he just wanted to... know if something had. He wanted to remember it, if it did. He was pretty damn positive that they didn’t fuck, or rather... Steven hadn’t fucked him. Hell, Xabi wasn’t even sure that Steven was gay. He was very... closed off. Xabi’s eyes shifted over to Steven. He could tell he was slumped down in the chair with his head against the window. Xabi closed his eyes, resting his head back on the seat. Pepe moved to sit next to him. Xabi opened his eyes to see Pepe grinning like a mad man.

“Pepe...” Xabi said slowly, wondering what his smirk was about. Pepe was practically bouncing.

“Do you know what it is like to have a one night stand with a girl from another country that you know for a fact you will never see again?” Pepe asked. Xabi slowly shook his head no. “I do....I approve of this feeling.”

“That is way too much information for this early.” Xabi whispered as he pressed his fingers against his eye sockets, rubbing them and then swept his hands across his face, sighing.

“So you disappeared last night.”

“Somehow I knew you were going to bring that up.” Xabi said, resigned to the fact that Pepe was nosy. Pepe looked at him expectantly. Xabi looked back towards Steven. Pepe’s eyes followed.

“You and Stevie?” He asked. Xabi shook his head, his eyes leaving the back of Steven’s seat.

“Shh.” Xabi said, his face hardening. He didn’t want people hearing anything, any rumor that wasn’t true. It would spread so fast...

“What about you and Stevie?” Esteban asked, his head popping around from where he was sitting behind Pepe. Xabi closed his eyes and sunk down in his seat.

“Nothing.” Xabi whispered. Esteban pouted.

“Liar.”

“I am not lying.” Xabi hissed, keeping his voice low. Pepe and Esteban looked at him funny.

“Then why are you trying to melt into your seat.”

“You can’t just make yourself disapparate.” Esteban said, straight face. Xabi just looked at him, face blank.

“Did you just reference-”

“Yes, shut up.” Esteban said. “Don’t change the subject.”

“You guys are the worst gossips ever.”

“We could just start a rumor.” Pepe said, shrugged. Xabi just glared at him. Pepe smiled. Xabi pursed his lips together and sighed. He might as well tell him he had no idea.

“I don’t remember last night.” He said, his voice low. “I don’t remember the club, or leaving.”

“Really?” Pepe asked. Xabi nodded.

“But I woke up on the bathroom floor... Steven was there.” He didn’t want to tell them he was laying on Steven’s stomach, or how he thought it seemed so... easy for Steven to be there.

“What were you doing on the floor?” Esteban asked.

“I don’t know. That is the whole point.” He said, laughing. “I don’t even know how I got to the hotel.”

“Ask Steven.” Esteban suggested. Xabi bit his lip.

“If I do that...what if we did something? He will realize...that I don’t know if we did anything or not.”

“So just assume you didn’t.” Pepe said, shrugging. Xabi nodded.

“Yeah, nothing probably happened.”

*-*-*

For the most part, Xabi stayed away from Steven while at Karaiskakis. He was hoping that, as he woke up and the hangover faded that he would remember more. This was not the case. He couldn’t remember anything. He was distraught, hanging around Esteban with his hands in his pockets as they walked around. He didn’t have his camera out, even though he knew he would regret it later. The stadium was massive, and beautiful. How often would he get to be in a football cathedral such as this? He sighed.

Steven didn’t really know what was going on, really. Xabi was seemingly ignoring him. Or rather, Steven thought he was. He could be wrong, he could be making it up. He could only be seeing the worst case scenario. Everything could be fine and he could be the one making it seem off. He wasn’t about to just go up to Xabi and ask him if he had meant it, the kiss. It could mean nothing to him. Steven thought about the condoms and lube in Xabi’s bag. He wondered if Xabi had a boyfriend, or already had something going on with one of the guys from Spain. Steven didn’t know anything about Xabi, really. He had just met him. What was he to say to him? ‘Well I thought since we, you know, kissed... and how whenever we talk we get really fucking close to each other... well... ‘ Steven couldn’t even form a coherent sentence in his mind, let alone out loud. He just didn’t want to put himself out there like that, show the world his heart, his feelings. He didn’t want to be hurt.

By the time they made it back to the bus, Steven was positive that Xabi was ignoring him. Xabi sat all the way in the back, with Raul Meireles and Esteban Granero. Steven caught his eye as he sat in an aisle seat next to Martin Skrtel. Xabi averted his gaze from Steven almost immediately. Steven’s gut sank.

*-*-*

Once everyone was off the bus and was settled on the train that would take them to Prague, most fell asleep immediately. Steven was sitting with Alvaro Arbeloa, Raul Albiol, and Jamie. Steven and Alvaro were sitting on one side of the table, watching a movie on Alvaro’s portable DVD player as Jamie and Raul slept on the other side of them. While watching the movie, Alvaro was also playing on his PSP. Steven’s eyes kept wandering around the train compartment, looking at everyone who was sleeping. It wasn’t that the movie bored him, it was the fact that his mind was reeling. It wouldn’t shut up, really. He didn’t understand why Xabi sat so far away from him. He was the farthest he could possibly be. Or maybe Xabi hadn’t even thought about sitting near Steven. Maybe Steven was the only one that thought about the other, maybe Steven was just ‘one of the English lads that were in the group’ like how Steven thought of David Silva or Cesc Fabregas. He thought Xabi and he... clicked though. He thought that, well, he thought that maybe there was something. Maybe there was nothing and that was the whole issue. Maybe he liked Xabi more, and Xabi wasn’t interested. Maybe drunk Xabi was interested but sober Xabi? Not so much.

Steven sighed. He was thinking into things too much. He was dissecting everything, which he knew was over doing it. He turned his attention back to his neighbor who was watching The Office; Steven’s favorite show. He was glad that Alvaro had it because he desperately wanted to laugh. Ricky Gervais always got his mind off of things, and Martin Freeman. Steven liked all the faces that Martin Freeman made, staring at the camera, expressing his feelings without words. Steven looked at Xabi again, who was sitting with Esteban, Raul Meireles and Gareth Bale. Xabi was talking animatedly with them, smiling and making hand gestures. Steven averted his eyes, determined to watch the show. He looked at Alvaro, who was concentrating on his game. Steven hadn’t even thought about asking his brother if he could borrow his PSP. That would have been smart. Not that Paul would have let him in the first place, though.

It was really beginning to eat away at Xabi, not knowing what happened. He was determined not to get blackout drunk again. He didn’t want it. He would still drink, but the fact that he could have done anything with Steven and not know was too much. Sure, he was talking with the group he was sitting with, but really he just wanted to go to sleep. He wanted to curl up and just... rest. He knew they would be partying again when they got to Prague. He heard John Terry telling Wayne Rooney and Pepe that his friend told him just the place to get absinthe. Xabi hoped he wasn’t rooming with one of them. He just wanted to sleep. The itinerary said that they had the day tomorrow to sight see. They would only have one day in Prague and they were free to go anywhere, as long as they weren’t alone. But that is what Xabi wanted, really. He wanted to wander around with his camera. He wanted to get lost then find his way back on his own.

“I don’t know what I want to do tomorrow. I might be too hung over to do anything.” Esteban stated. “But I want to look at the shops.”

“Me too.” Raul said. “I bet they have really awesome shops.”

“Xabi, want to go with us?” Esteban asked. Xabi shrugged.

“I will see what’s up. I don’t know what I want to do.”

“Look at that big ass castle probably.” Esteban laughed. Xabi stuck his tongue out, but nodded.

“I do want to see that. It is done in the baroq-”

“I really don’t know what you are talking about when you go off about that stuff.” Esteban stated. Xabi sighed, not bothering to finish his sentence. He looked over towards Steven. Steven didn’t stop him from talking about ornamentation. After a while, things calmed down. Raul and Esteban fell asleep, their arms and heads resting on the table in front of them. Gareth was reading a book with his headphones on, leaving Xabi in peace for the time being. Xabi got out his iPad, checking his facebook and messing around on the internet until the wifi signal disappeared. His eyes kept traveling over to Steven, who was watching something with Alvaro. Xabi pursed his lips together as he thought about how Steven walked around with him at the Parthenon, about what he remembered of the club, them dancing together. About how he woke up with his head on Steven’s stomach. If they hadn’t done anything....why would Steven let Xabi lay on him like that? That wasn’t normal. Xabi bit his lip, closing his eyes as he thought about Sergio being all over Steven. About how he didn’t think Steven was interested in Sergio. But he wasn’t sure if Steven was interested in him either, really.

It was only the third day of their trip. He was almost positive that by the end of this trip, Steven Gerrard would be on his mind almost constantly. He could feel it now, actually. He could feel that certain tug in his gut when he looked at him, could feel his stomach doing somersaults. He looked at Steven again, who had his fingers against his lips, idly playing with them as he smiled at whatever they were watching. Xabi felt his cock twitch. He shut his eyes again. The vision of Steven stayed in his mind, only it warped into him putting his fingers into his own mouth...Xabi’s eyes snapped open. He needed to go into the bathroom, now. He got up, walking towards it. He had to pass Steven as he went. Steven’s eyes caught his as he passed. He gave him a small smile, not really knowing how to act. He was going to jack off to him, he wasn’t about to start a conversation with him as his cock grew harder.

“This is just ridiculous.” Xabi gritted his teeth as he shut the door, locking it behind him. He promptly unzipped his jeans, pushing his pants and briefs down his thighs as he leaned against the door in the small cubicle that passed as a bathroom. He closed his eyes as his fingers gripped his cock, stroking it loosely at first. The pace didn’t stay constant as he jacked off, quick and slow strokes muddled together as his head rested against the door. Images and concepts of Steven flooded his mind all at once. Thinking about Steven’s mouth on him, thinking of his mouth on Steven, their bodies brushing up against one another at the Parthenon, his lips close to Steven’s ear... Xabi moaned as his thumb grazed over the head of his cock as it dripped so that he could slick himself up. He groaned as he tugged harshly, hissed as he picked up momentum only to slow down again. He imagined Steven’s mouth wrapped around him, him kneeling in front of Xabi, his mouth open and inviting. Xabi gasped, his eyes shutting tighter as images flashed before his mind, pushing him over the edge. When he came it was in waves, panting and gasping for breath as he gritted his teeth. The mess was on his hand, on the floor. He washed his hands with soap, grabbed toilet paper and cleaned up in a rush, his mouth agape and his cheeks flushed. He pulled his pants back up, looking at himself in the mirror as he zipped his jeans. His lips were red from biting his lip, puffy. He thought he looked red, he thought he looked like he had just been fucked.

He remembered what Mikel always said after Xabi jacked off for him:

 _“You look ravished. You know that, right?” Mikel had said. Xabi shook his head, his cheeks reddening._

 _“What do you mean?” He asked, panting, his fingers reaching out for Mikel as he laid on the bed, he had exhausted himself out._

 _“You don’t need anyone else’s hands on you to look like you were fucked.” He had told him, his lips coming down and meeting Xabi’s. “You can do it all on your own.” He whispered, his teeth raking down Xabi’s neck as he crawled on top of him._

 _“I like when you touch me, though.” Xabi said, his arms wrapping around Mikel. Mikel smiled at him._

 _“Oh, don’t get me wrong. I love fucking you with my fingers, jacking you off-”_

Xabi moaned, biting his lip as he looked in the mirror, snapping out of his memory. Mikel was done. He wasn’t with him. He was alone. He turned the faucet on, splashing water on his face, hoping it looked like...well...hoped it looked like he didn’t just jack off in the train’s bathroom.

When he opened the door he jumped back, Steven was there, waiting patiently with his hands behind his back, leaning against the wall. Xabi bit his lip, looking down the aisle. Steven gave him a small smile. Xabi was pretty sure that he blushed.

“Did I...keep you long?” He asked, his voice cracking slightly. Steven shook his head.

“Are you alright?’ He asked. Xabi nodded, bring a hand up and placing it on the back of his neck, messing with his hair.

“I am, I just didn’t feel well.” He said, averting his gaze as he got out of the way so that Steven could go in. The corner of Steven’s mouth turned upwards. He chuckled. “What?” he asked.

“You said that last night, too.” Steven muttered as he passed by Xabi, their chests touching for only a moment, the aisle was small. Xabi’s face scrunched up.

“I did?” Xabi asked.

“Yeah, you know, when you were sitting in front of the toilet.” Steven said. Xabi nodded slowly.

“Ah, right. Did I... I didn’t get sick did I?” He asked. Hoping that Steven would tell him more, somehow. Steven shook his head.

“No, you didn’t. Don’t you remember?” He asked. Xabi bit his lip, then shook his head. “Oh, well...no you didn’t get sick.”

“Thanks. I was worried I did something stupid.” He said, laughing. Steven smiled.

“You didn’t do anything like that, no.” He said quietly. Xabi was relieved. He didn’t do anything with Steven.

Steven shut the door to the bathroom and sighed deeply. There, he did it. Xabi didn’t remember a thing and he told him nothing happened. He didn’t want him to freak out, really. He didn’t want it to be a big deal. Maybe Xabi hadn’t meant to kiss him, he would deal with it. He had been drunk too, really. It was almost nothing, that kiss. This would be better, he thought. He relieved himself, washed his hands, then opened the door. When he sat down, he didn’t put the headphones back in. Instead, he tried to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

It turns out John Terry was right about getting absinthe once they were in Prague. Everyone was tired, not in the mood to go out, but that didn’t mean they didn’t want to throw down. The hotel that they were in had connected rooms. Pepe and David Villa’s room was connected to Xabi’s and John Terry’s, so that was where the party was going to be. Xabi kept his things packed and put it in the the corner of the room. He didn’t want his things to be gone through drunkenly.

He did take a shower, though. He didn’t get to take one before they left Greece and after the train ride...he just really wanted to shower. He knew they were getting the party started already, but he didn’t care. He didn’t want to get smashed anyways. He just wanted a few drinks. As he dried off his mind wandered to earlier, in the lobby when room assignments were handed out. Xabi had practically groaned when he heard Steven and Sergio’s names called out together. He felt as if the gods had cursed him. The look on Sergio’s face had been priceless, to say the least. He looked like a kid in a candy shop.

Xabi glared at the mirror as he exited the bathroom, clean and ready to be surrounded by everyone. One thing he was lacking lately was privacy, but he couldn’t do anything about that now that his room was full of people on their way to being blackout drunk. John handed him a glass of absinthe, to which Xabi thanked him and took a sip. He had to watch himself. He didn’t want to wake up on the floor of the bathroom with Steven again, or did he? Maybe not the floor of the bathroom part, but he definitely wouldn’t mind waking up next to Steven. Xabi shook his head, now was not the time to think about Steven.

Steven decided that he liked absinthe. He liked it because he felt happy, free. He was on his second glass. It was a small glass, but fuck if he didn’t already feel a full body buzz happening. He was standing with Jamie, Esteban, and Raul Meireles. He thought that Esteban and Raul were hilarious when together. Jamie called them the hipster couple, which made them both scoff at him. Steven smiled because it was true. He bit his lip when he caught a glimpse of Xabi, his hair wet and his clothes clung tight to his body. Xabi. Steven broke his gaze away as he took another long sip from his glass. He felt flushed from the alcohol, his mind fuzzy and unclear. He wanted to just walk over to him, wanted to tell him that yes something happened last night and he wanted to kiss him again. But he didn’t. Instead, he listened to Raul and Esteban talk.

At some point in the night Wayne Rooney got angry at a lamp, as far as Steven could tell, because he started fighting it. The lamp had won in the end, and Wayne face planted onto the floor, where he remained. Andy Carroll gave David Silva and David Villa piggyback rides down the hall, which lead to a timed trial. The hall was theirs, since they practically took up the entire length of it. Steven wasn’t thinking about the other sleeping guests though, he was thinking about kissing, groping, and defiling Xabi. Or, well... Xabi defiling him. Either way, that is what filled his alcohol addled mind as he sipped and sipped the 140 proof drink.

What surprised Xabi the most about this party was the fact that Pepe and John were trying to out drink each other. As far as Xabi could tell, they were both winning (or losing, depending on the way you looked at it). Either way, Xabi was positive that neither of them would be doing much sight seeing the next day. Steven was well on his way to crawling to his bed, by Xabi’s estimation. He wanted to go up to him, really. And he knew he had no reason not to. But here, with just the guys, it seemed so blatant. In the club he was sure it was more conspicuous. Instead, he was talking with Raul Albiol and Alvaro. That was, until he noticed a certain two people suddenly disappear. He turned his head, searching Pepe and David’s room for signs of Steven or Sergio. Nothing. He walked into his and John’s room. Again, not there. Xabi’s stomach sank. They were gone.

Sergio had his arm around Steven’s waist as they walked down the hall, their hands empty of their glasses: they left them behind. Steven had a hand on Sergio’s neck as they walked, or stumbled rather, into their room. Steven’s head was spinning and he felt like he kept either leaning forward or backwards whenever he tried to sit up straight. Sergio flung Steven onto the bed, then locked the door. Steven sat there for a moment, his head in his hands as he tried to concentrate on the floor. The next thing he knew, Sergio’s hands were back on him, lifting his shirt over his head.

“Am I going to bed?” He asked, his face showing signs of confusion. Sergio laughed, shaking his head.

“No, not to bed. But you are on it.” Sergio said, his mouth close to Steven’s face. Steven stared at his lips. “You look fucking hot.” Sergio whispered as a hand grasped at Steven’s crotch. Steven gasped, moaning. He hadn’t been expecting that at all. Sergio’s lips collided against his, his mouth opening for Sergio’s tongue. Steven closed his eyes, his mind reeling as thoughts of the night before flashed before him. Xabi below him, pulling him to the ground, Xabi’s mouth on him. God, he wanted Xabi’s mouth on him. Steven opened his eyes, his hand pushing back on Sergio’s chest, stopping the kiss. Sergio grinned. Steven needed to lay down, he was so fucking dizzy he could barely-

He gasped. Sergio managed to bring Steven’s cock out of his jeans, his mouth was on him. Jesus fucking christ, Sergio’s mouth was-

“No.” Steven said, sitting up slowly, his fingers grabbing at Sergio’s hair. Sergio popped his mouth on Steven’s dick. Steven was panting. He didn’t want this. He wanted someone else. He closed his eyes, holding Sergio back from him.

“No?” Sergio asked, his hand wrapping around Steven’s cock and twisting, stroking it. Steven’s head fell back. He couldn’t think. “But what if I want your cock?” He asked. “Do you really want me to stop?” Steven’s mouth was dry. He shook his head. Sergio hummed as he took Steven back into his mouth, taking him down all the way. Xabi. Xabi is who Steven thought of.

“Xabi.” Steven whispered. Sergio pulled back.

“What?” He asked. Steven opened his eyes.

“I want you to be him.” Sergio raised his eyebrow at Steven.

“No you don’t, you won’t want me to be him when I am through.” Sergio said, his voice dripping with confidence. Steven shook his head, pushing away from the bed. He walked towards the door, but Sergio stopped him, his hand grasping at the back of Steven’s neck, bringing him in for a kiss, their bodies crashing together. Sergio’s free hand wrapped around Steven’s cock as he kissed him with a certain ferocity, trying to prove his worth. Steven hissed as Sergio raked his teeth over his bottom lip. Catching his breath, Steven pushed against Sergio again. This time, he managed to get the door open. He forced himself into his pants, pulling them back up and zipping them. Shirtless, he stumbled back into the party. No one seemed to take notice of him, except Jamie, who was just as drunk as he was, if not more so.

“Lad, where’s your shirt?” He asked, laughing. Steven shook his head, shrugging.

“Sergio took it.” He said, frowning. Jamie laughed more, clapping him on the back.” Jamie I... I have to go to bed.” Steven said, his voice becoming panicked. He was so fucking drunk he could barely stand.

“Stevie, just relax. Just go to your room, sleep there.” Jamie said. Steven shook his head repeatedly.

“I can’t. I can’t go there.” He said, pulling on Jamie’s shirt sleeve. He was panting, his breath catching in his throat. He felt like he could start crying at any moment, unable to stop it. He wanted to go home, he didn’t want to be in Prague. The room was fucking spinning and he couldn’t stop it from happening.

“Why? Need help getting there?” Jamie asked. Steven shook his head again. No, he wanted to scream. He wanted to hide. He dropped his hand from Jamie’s shirt. He needed water. He turned around, coming face to face with Xabi.

“Xabi.” He whispered.

Xabi had a glass of water in his hand. He saw Steven stumble in, relieve flooding through him. He wasn’t gone long at all, really. But his shirt was off, his lips were puffy. But he was here, at the party. Xabi thought that Steven looked distraught in his drunken stupor as he held onto Jamie’s sleeve.

“Stevie, what are you-” Xabi was cut off by Steven putting his arms around him, Steven’s face burying itself against Xabi’s shoulder. Xabi looked at Jamie who shrugged and took another swig of his absinthe. Steven mumbled against Xabi’s skin. “I can’t understand you.”

“I need to sit or I am going to be sick.” Steven said, louder. Steven’s hands were on Xabi’s back.

“Okay, come on. Let’s go on the balcony.” Xabi said, turning Stevie towards the door. No one was out on Pepe and David’s balcony. Xabi sat Steven down on the cool concrete, pushing his back against the wall of the hotel. “Fresh air will feel good.” He said as he sat down next to Steven. Steven sighed audibly, his lip set out in a pout. Xabi laughed. “What?” He asked. Steven didn’t look at Xabi, he couldn’t.

“The city is moving.” Steven muttered. Xabi placed the back of this hand against Steven’s cheek.

“You’re burning up.”

“I get hot when I drink.” Steven said. “And the city won’t fucking stop.” He said, leaning forward, placing his elbows on his thighs then resting his head in his hands, his fingers raking through his own hair. Xabi bit his lip, he knew the feeling well.

“Maybe you should sleep it off, Stevie.” Xabi suggested. Steven head shot up, his eyes wide.

“I can’t go to my room.” He said, his hand reaching out for Xabi’s arm, shaking him slightly. “Don’t let me go there.” He whispered. Xabi wasn’t sure he wanted to ask why not, but he couldn’t help himself.

“Why, Stevie?” He asked. Steven’s brow furrowed, his hand dropping from Xabi’s arm and fell into his own lap.

“Sergio, he-” The door to the balcony opened, out popped Jamie’s head.

“There you are lad!” He bellowed. Steven looked up at him.

“Jamie!” He said, suddenly sounding relieved.

“You said you can’t go to your room, yeah?” Jamie asked, his body swaying slightly. Steven made a face, he couldn’t remember if he had or not.

“I don’t want to go there, no.” Steven mumbled.

“Well, you can take my bed, yeah? I am rooming with fucking, Wayne Rooney. He is passed out on the floor or someshit. I ain’t moving him neither, he can just stay-”

“Which room are you in?” Xabi asked. Jamie looked at Xabi like he hadn’t even noticed he had been there. Jamie’s eye brows lifted, a finger pointed at Steven, then at Xabi, wagging back and forth quickly.

“Oh, I see. I see what this is.” He said, laughing to himself. Xabi looked up at Jamie, confused.

“Jamie, I was going to take Steven there so he can go to sleep.” Xabi said slowly. Jamie laughed some more.

“1236.” He said, chuckling. “Go to sleep.” He murmured to himself as he walked back inside. Xabi stood up, putting his hands out for Steven to grab hold of. When he pulled him up, Steven’s body crashed into his, Xabi’s hands were on Steven’s bare skin. He licked his lips, pushing himself off of the laughing Steven.

“You ready to go?” Xabi asked. Steven nodded, a grin sticking to his face as a hand held onto Xabi’s shirt.

“Where are we going?” Steven asked. Xabi knew he was getting worse, he needed to get water into Steven’s system or he wouldn’t be getting out of bed at all the next day. They walked through the room, passing by John, Pepe, and Sergio. As they walked by him, Xabi saw Sergio glaring at him. He decided to ignore it, he needed to get Steven in a bed.

When they got to Jamie and Wayne’s room, Steven flopped down on the nearest bed, face down. Xabi stood by the door, not really knowing what he should do. He went into the bathroom, getting Steven water. He sat down on the bed next to him, holding it, waiting for him to roll over.

Steven felt like he was dying. His body tingled, his head spun, and he wasn’t sure how he got onto a bed. He moved his head to the side, Xabi came into view eventually as his eyes adjusted.

“Xabi.” He said, his voice low. Xabi smiled down at him.

“I have water for you.” Xabi said. Steven made a face.

“I will spill it on the bed.” Steven said, his voice sad and overwhelmed. Xabi sat the glass on the bedside table, his hands grabbing onto Steven, flipping him onto his back. Steven groaned, his hands reaching up and grasping for Xabi’s shirt as Xabi pulled him into a sitting position. “Oh my fucking god I am going to fucking be sick.” Steven said, closing his eyes. Xabi let go of him, bringing a trash can over. Steven sat there for a moment, not moving, not opening his eyes.

“You need water.” Xabi whispered. When Steven opened his eyes, the glass was there right in front of him. Xabi held it up to his lips. Steven downed half the glass before he took a breath.

“Are you going to...” Steven trailed off. Xabi waited patiently for him to finish his thought. “Are you going to kiss me again?” Steven asked, looking up at Xabi. Xabi’s breath caught in his throat.

“What?” He asked. Steven laughed.

“You didn’t remember.”

“You told me-”

“Fuck it.” Steven said, drinking the rest of the water. Xabi’s heart was in this throat.

“Stevie-”

“I am not going to remember shit tomorrow.” Steven mumbled.

“Probably not.” Xabi said, sitting back down next to him. Xabi wanted to kiss Steven, again. Well, for the first time (again), but he didn’t want to if Steven wasn’t going to remember it. It felt wrong. Steven rested his head on Xabi’s shoulder.

“Are you going back to the party?” Steven asked. Xabi shook his head.

“No, Wayne can have my bed.” Xabi whispered. Steven took a deep breath. “Come on, lie down.” Xabi said, nodding his head towards the pillow. Steven did as Xabi suggested, crawling farther onto the bed, then falling onto his stomach, his head facing towards Xabi as he sat against the headboard. Steven looked up at Xabi, his hand grasping at Xabi’s pant leg. Xabi’s hand reached out, his fingers rubbing circles in Steven’s back. Steven closed his eyes, his fingers loosening from Xabi’s leg. Before Xabi knew it, Steven fell asleep beside him.

Xabi sighed, his fingers trailing up and down Steven’s back idly. He kissed Steven last night, then ignored him all day. Xabi bit his lip and closed his eyes. He was an asshole. He took a deep breath, his fingers stilling on Steven’s back. He fell asleep, his hand staying on Steven’s bare skin.

Jamie Carragher stumbled into his room, barely able to keep his eyes open. When he closed the door behind him he jumped back. He didn’t know why people were in his room. It took him a moment to realize that it was Steven and Xabi. Xabi was sitting up, his head tilted to the side, while Steven lay on his stomach. Jamie smiled to himself.

“Good lad.” He said to no one. He fell onto the bed, face first, and stayed there.


	6. Chapter 6

Xabi woke up with the sun, his body curled up against Steven’s, his hand still on Steven’s bare back. Xabi pulled his hand away, rolling off the bed. He looked at the clock on the bedside table, it was just past eight in the morning. Without so much as a sound, he left the room, leaving Jamie and Steven asleep on their beds.

He took his time walking to his room, running his fingers through his hair and rubbing his eyes. He slept next to Steven, after rubbing his back until he fell asleep. Xabi closed his eyes and sighed. He liked him, he knew he did. And he kissed him. Xabi’s gut clenched. He spent yesterday fucking ignoring him and they...kissed. Xabi laughed. It was a kiss, just a kiss. It wasn’t like their was a blow job involved, or sex. Xabi licked his lips.

He wondered if Steven would remember that he told Xabi what happened. He shouldn’t think about that now. What he wanted right now was a shower. A long, cold shower. He walked into he and John Terry’s room as quietly as possible. Andy Carroll and Sergio Ramos were passed out on his bed, while John slept face down on his own. Xabi went over to his bag and got out fresh clothes, then stepped into the bathroom. When he pulled back the curtains on the tub to take a shower he jumped back, a hand moving up to cover his mouth, stifling a scream.

Raul Meireles and Esteban Granero were in the tub, spooning. Xabi started laughing uncontrollably. Somehow, this did not wake the two sleeping in the tub. Xabi brushed his teeth, looking at them in the mirror and smiling. When he was done, he walked over, his hand hovering over the faucet for a moment, then turned the water on. Raul and Esteban jumped up, their eyes opening wide.

“What the fuck!”

“Holy shit!” They screamed as they scrambled out of the tub. “Jesus, Xabi. You couldn’t just shake us?” Esteban asked. Xabi didn’t hear them, he was on the floor holding his stomach as he laughed. “Oh, think that is funny, eh?” Esteban said, bending over and poking Xabi in the side. “Just you wait, Alonso. We’ll get you back.” He said, smiling himself. Raul was leaning against the wall of the bathroom, his eyes closed. He wasn’t ready to be awake, let alone standing. Esteban tugged on Raul shirt, getting him to move. “Come on, Raul.”

“Wait, wait.” Xabi said, sitting up. “Want to go around town with me? I want to see the Castle.” Xabi said. Esteban shrugged and looked at Raul.

“Yeah, let me shower.” Raul said, still groggy. “And have coffee.”

“Coffee is good.” Esteban said, sighing. Xabi smiled up at them.

“Take your time, when I am done here I was going to go down and get some breakfast.”

“We’ll see you there, eventually.” Esteban said, patting Xabi’s head as they walked out of the bathroom.

*-*-*

Xabi met Daniel Agger, Martin Kelly, Martin Skrtel, Esteban, and Raul down in the lobby after he had eaten and showered.

“Where are we going?” Martin Skrtel asked. He had a cup of coffee in his hand and he still looked half asleep.

“The Castle.” Xabi said, grabbing a map from reception. “It is the largest castle in the world with at least three different styles...” Xabi looked up from the map to see everyone staring at him. “It is just a really cool castle.”

“Alright then, lads. Let’s head out.” Daniel said, putting his hands in his pockets as he led the group outside.

When they got to the castle Xabi wanted to take pictures outside, it was almost impossible to get the castle in one shot, even from far off. Xabi picked up a map of just the castle, and skimmed its contents.

“Oh, wow. They have a summer Shakespeare Festival here, if we wanted to watch Two Gentlemen of-”

“No.” Esteban said, cutting Xabi off. “No Shakespeare, Xabs.” He laughed. Xabi narrowed his eyes, but smiled.

“But Two Gents is a funny play.” He feigned being sad that no one wanted to watch it.

“I would see it.” Martin Kelly said as he too, looked over a map. “I mean how often do you watch Shakespeare in the garden of a palace?”

“You aren’t serious.” Daniel said, looking over Martin’s shoulder. Martin shrugged.

“I mean, maybe if we had more time here. We are leaving in the morning. If we stayed here all day...”

“We wouldn’t do anything else.” Xabi said, sighing. “Alright, lets get started. I want to see the Saint Vitus Cathedral and the Basilica of Saint George.”

“Why do you want to see two churches?” Raul asked. Xabi bit his lip. He could tell he was going to get a lot of flack today.

“Because one is Gothic and the other is Romanesque.” Esteban rolled his eyes, but Raul smiled.

“That sounds cool.”

“Gothic castles are bad ass.” Daniel murmured. “Let’s go there first.”

After they walked around for nearly four hours, seeing the two churches, the National Gallery, and the Royal Gardens, everyone sans Xabi was ready to go.

“Just one more place.” Xabi said, his camera in his hand. He hadn’t turned it off the entire time they walked around.

“Alright, Xabs. Where do you want to go?” Esteban asked. Xabi bit his lip.

“Vladislav Hall. I just want to see the vaulted ceilings... the truss work in it is really intricate and-”

“Okay, we will go look at this hall, but then we are getting some food.” Martin Skrtel said.

“I am starving.” Raul muttered as he pat his stomach. Xabi smiled.

“I will be quick.” When they entered the 16th century banquet hall everyone’s jaw dropped.

“Holy shit.” Esteban whispered. Xabi smiled.

“I told you, the stone work on the ceiling is-”

“Bad ass.” Daniel said, his jaw hanging open as he looked around. Xabi took at least twenty pictures of the room. Xabi couldn’t stop smiling as he circled around the gothic banquet hall. When they were done at the Castle, Daniel called around, seeing if anyone else was awake.

“Food.” Raul mumbled, pouting. Esteban nodded his head in agreement.

“Good food.” Martin Kelly said as he leaned against the wall of a building. When Daniel got off the phone he stood next to Martin.

“Alright, even though it is like three in the afternoon... hardly anyone is awake.” Xabi scoffed at Daniel’s words. “Carra said that he and Stevie were going to get out of bed soon to try to find something to eat. I say we go get something light at a cafe, then eat with them.” Daniel suggested, shrugging.

“I like that idea.” Raul said. Xabi’s eyes widened.

“Can we go to Cafe Milena?” He asked. Daniel’s eyebrow rose.

“Is it close?” He asked.

“Why there?” Martin Kelly asked. Xabi bit his lip, a blush creeped across his cheeks.

“Well, it was named after one of Franz Kafka’s lovers, it was started by his friends. It is in Old Town.” Xabi muttered. Esteban was highly amused at the random facts that Xabi just so happened to know.

“Alright, let’s go then. I feel like I could eat all the things.” Martin Skrtel said.

*-*-*

By the time they got to Cafe Milena, got a snack, and finished it, Jamie called Daniel. The plan was to meet at U Vejvodů, a pub and beer hall which was also in Old Town, where they could try Czech cuisine, as well as try their hand at some local brews. Jamie said that only he, Steven, Alvaro Arbeloa, and Raul Albiol would be joining up with them. Daniel’s group got to the beer hall first, getting a massive table for them all to sit at. When the second group arrived, looking a little worse for wear from the night before, Steven sat next to Xabi.

“Where did you guys go?” Steven asked as he sat down, his arm brushing against Xabi’s as he scooted his chair in. The corner of Xabi’s mouth turned upwards.

“We went to the Castle.” Xabi said, his voice barely above a whisper as he looked at Steven. His stomach was churning, he felt like he had just done somersaults. He hadn’t felt like this before when he was around him. Xabi cleared his throat, handing Steven his camera. “Want to see?” He asked. Steven smiled at him and nodded. He flipped through the pictures, letting Xabi tell him about what he was looking at. Everyone around them seemed to fade into the background, not disturbing them as they talked about the photos.

“I wish I hadn’t been hung over, that looks amazing.” Steven whispered as he finally got to the pictures of Vladislav Hall. Xabi’s shoulders slumped. He wished that Steven had come as well, so he would have had someone to talk with as they walked around. Daniel had been with Martin Kelly, trying to be conspicuous about the fact that they were together, while Martin Skrtel mainly hung back with Raul and Esteban making as many tasteless remarks about the buildings and artwork as possible. Xabi used to love walking around alone, taking pictures and looking at everything. But all he thought about that day was the fact that if Steven were there he would have had someone to talk to. When Steven handed Xabi back his camera, their fingers met for only a moment. Xabi felt a chill go up his spine. He liked Steven, a lot.

Steven decided that he liked Czech cuisine. He ordered roast pork with dumplings and sauerkraut, which he almost ate the entire thing. He gave Xabi a piece of his so that he could try some of Xabi’s marinated beef sirloin... which was also mouth watering. As the meal progressed, they seemed to get closer, their bodies leaning in, knees turned inwards towards each other. They all sat for a while, drinking beer and talking. Eventually, the rest of the group showed up and they moved upstairs to the bar, out of the restaurant. It was pretty packed up there, and they were standing over a couple of high boy tables. Shoulder to shoulder, everyone was packed in tight, Pepe and David Villa trying to talk over each other, John Terry, Andy Carroll, and Sergio Ramos drifting around, talking to groups of girls that came into the bar. Steven and Xabi were pressed against each other, Xabi’s chest against Steven’s back as they had one hand on their beers which were on the high boy tables in front of them.

“Tonight we should go to Karlovy Lazne, it is this club where each floor has different music on it!” Esteban suggested. “I know I want to rock out, and Danny said he wanted some house music. I think it would be perfect: something for everyone.”

“That sounds awesome.” Pepe said, finishing off a beer, then going to get another. Steven looked at Xabi, his face turning over his shoulder. Xabi was mid-sip, his eyes looking at Steven’ over the glass.

“Do you want to go, too?” He asked. Xabi’s eyes didn’t leave Steven’s as he put the glass down and licked his lips.

“Yes, I do. I think it would be fun.” Xabi said, his voice low, his lips close to Steven’s ear. Steven smiled. Everyone around them was so loud, boisterous. No one noticed how close they had gotten.

“I think that if we want to get in at a reasonable hour, we should go get in line.” Jamie said, looking at his watch. Everyone grumbled, finishing their drinks so that they could close out their tabs.   
*-*-*

Lines were long, but with Pepe and David Villa in line with the group, they were more than entertained. They had been standing for almost two hours. Steven’s chin was resting on Xabi’s shoulder, his hand on the small of Xabi’s back as Xabi talked to Raul and Esteban.

“I am going to hang at the Paradog Club, with all the house music.” Esteban said. Raul nodded.

“I am too.” He responded. Xabi turned his head towards Steven.

“Where do you want to go?” He asked him. Steven lifted his head off of Xabi’s shoulder, thinking.

“I want to find a table.” Steven whispered. Xabi smiled, a blush appearing across his cheeks. Steven wanted to be alone. So did he, really. He wanted to just be with Steven. Esteban cleared his throat.

“You two do that.” He said, grinning. Xabi punched him in the arm. “Ouch, fucker.” He said, laughing. Xabi glared at him, but his face softened when the line moved. He wanted to go inside. The line started moving faster and Steven’s hand dropped from Xabi’s back.

When they got in, Xabi and Steven got drinks at the bar then walked around, finding a place to sit. There were couches, tables, chairs, benches... so many different places to choose from to chill out together. They passed by Iker and Cesc dancing in the disco dancefloor, Daniel and Martin Kelly were on the trance floor, along with Esteban and Raul.

Steven was glad that Sergio wasn’t in sight. He didn’t want to talk to him, or see him for that matter. He remembered what happened last night, remembered that he told Xabi about the kiss. Now they were having trouble keeping their hands off each other in public. Steven was never really one for public displays of affection, but he just wanted Xabi. He wanted to kiss him, he wanted to make out. It wasn’t as if almost everyone where they were sitting weren’t doing the same as he wanted. But they sat, talking. Every time one of them got up to get another round of drinks, when they sat, they got closer. Steven’s arm was on the back of the couch, his thumb grazing across Xabi’s shoulder as they talked. Xabi was leaning towards Steven, his head resting on his shoulder for a moment.

“You want me to get the next round?” Xabi asked, lifting his head. Steven nodded.

“If you want.” He said, smiling. Xabi smiled back, leaning in. Their lips met once, then twice. The kiss went from short and sweet to long and lustful. Xabi’s hands cupped Steven’s face, Steven’s hands resting on Xabi’s waist, his fingers applying pressure and pulling him closer. Xabi broke the kiss, biting his lip as he looked into Steven’s eyes.

“I should go get us those drinks.” He whispered. Steven laughed.

“If you have to.”

“I’ll be right back.” Xabi said, chuckling as he got up, kissing Steven one more time before he walked to the bar.

As he was waiting to get their drinks, Sergio walked up to him, putting his arm around Xabi’s shoulders. Xabi rolled his shoulders, making Sergio’s arm fall off. Sergio had a grin on his face.

“What’s that look on your face for?” Xabi asked. Sergio’s smirk remained.

“You don’t know?” He asked. Xabi rolled his eyes. He didn’t have time for this.

“Know what, Ramos?” Xabi asked. Sergio’s hand found its way back onto Xabi’s shoulder, bringing him in closer.

“You’ll never know whose cock I had wrapped around-” Xabi pushed himself away, his face contorting.

“I don’t care who you fuck, Sergio.” He wanted their drinks so he could leave, the bar tender was taking forever.

“Don’t be so sure of that, Alonso.” Sergio said, getting close to Xabi, whispering his last name into his ear. Xabi backed away from him.

“What do you mean by that?” Sergio’s smirk seemed to be mocking him, his body language telling him that Sergio was about to tell him something he didn’t want to know. But before the words even left Sergio’s lips, he knew. He knew last night when Steven showed up without his shirt off, upset and wanting to talk to Jamie. Xabi’s shoulders sagged, his mouth turned down in a frown.

“Steven and I hooked up last night.” He said, tilting his head to the side. “I just...” He sighed. “I wanted to tell you, since we are such good friends.”

“Were.” Xabi said, his voice cracking. Sergio lifted his eyebrows.

“Hmm? I can’t hear you, Xabs.” He said, leaning in. Xabi’s bottom lip trembled as he took a deep breath.

“Don’t call me that, and you are not my friend and haven’t been for a while.” He said, his jaw clenching as he walked away. He passed by Steven, not even looking at him. He rushed into the bathroom, splashing water on his face and taking deep breaths. He closed his eyes to control his breathing. His mind flashing through images of he and Mikel together, how he and Sergio had been close friends. Best friends. They were until.... Xabi opened his eyes. Steven was with Sergio last night. His face set in a frown he walked out of the bathroom, his mind full of Sergio and Mikel, images forever ingrained in his memory. He walked up the stairs as fast as he could, looking for no one he recognized. He wanted contact, he wanted to feel like he had control over something, anything in his life. He walked up to a different bar, ordering two shots. He needed them, he wanted Steven, but Steven had Sergio. Why would he... Xabi closed his eyes as he took the first shot, slamming the glass onto the counter.

Why would he fuck Sergio? Why... it didn’t make any sense. All in one day. Xabi kissed him, he didn’t remember, so Steven went to Sergio. Xabi gritted his teeth, cussing under his breath. He took the second shot, then walked out onto the dance floor.

*-*-*

Steven waited. And waited. He waited until Sergio Ramos sat down next to him, in Xabi’s seat. Steven tensed up immediately.

“Heya, Stevie.” Sergio said, setting his drink down and putting his arms on the back of the couch, taking up most of it. Steven’s face hardened.

“Hi.” He said as he started to stand up. Sergio stopped him by grabbing onto his hand, which he promptly pulled back, getting out of Sergio’s grip.

“I ran into Xabi, he seemed genuinely surprised when I mentioned us to him.” Sergio said nonchalantly. Steven’s eyes narrowed.

“You didn’t.” He didn’t believe Sergio. Why would he do that. Sergio raised an eyebrow.

“Oh? You don’t think I did?” Steven bit his lip as he looked at Sergio. He wanted to punch the smirk off of his face.

“You wouldn’t.”

“You don’t know me.” Sergio retorted, laughing. Steven’s gut sank.

“What did you tell him?” Steven asked. Sergio shrugged and took a sip of his drink.

“Just the truth.”

“That you took me back to our room and tried to give me a-”

“No, no. I didn’t try, I did it.” Steven was angry, he was frustrated, he had to find Xabi. He tried to leave, but Sergio stood up, blocking him.   
“Get out of the way.”

“Where are you going? To find him? If you want to, he is in the Paradogs club, dancing with some guy.” The grin was back on Sergio’s lips. Steven pushed him out of the way, he could feel his heart beat in his ears, he felt like he was stumbling through the club.

He ran into Jamie before he found Xabi.

“Lad, what the fuck? Weren’t you and Xabi just all over each other? I just saw him with some bloke...” Jamie’s voice trailed off when he saw Steven’s face. “Lad, what’s wrong?”

“So last night when I was drunk Sergio fucking, like... we did some shit and then I wanted Xabi so I stopped and came back to the party and then we went to bed and then today at dinner and in the line Xabi and I were talking and then... we were sitting and drinking and we kissed and then he left and didn’t come back and Sergio just sits down and tells me that he told Xabi that he blew me.” Steven said as fast as he could. Jamie’s eyes were wide, his jaw dropped.

“Sergio blew you?” Steven nodded. “You kissed Xabi?” He nodded again. “And now Xabi is basically... attached to some random upstairs?” He asked. Steven’s shoulders slumped. “Well, okay. You and I need to talk.” Jamie said, sighing. He looked at Steven and put his hand on Steven’s shoulder.

“Is he really with someone right now?” Steven asked. Jamie bit his lip, nodding once. Steven looked up at the ceiling. “Fuck.”

“Don’t think about him right now, what the fuck about Sergio. You told me you didn’t... that you weren’t interested-”

“I’m not.” Steven said, his face hardening. “I want Xabi.” Jamie smiled.

“You know, you have never once actually told me flat out that you wanted someone.”

“Now is not the time to be fucking sentimental.” Steven said, exasperated. Jamie laughed. “Seriously, I just... this is so fucked up. I want to leave.”

“Alright, lad.”

“I want to go home.” Steven told Jamie as they made their way downstairs, towards the exit. On their way out, they ran into Cesc and Iker.

“We are heading back to the hotel.” Jamie said.

“So are we.” Iker said. “We should probably let someone know who is staying so they don’t think they lost people.” He suggested. Steven nodded, looking around and trying to find someone to tell. His eyes landed on John Terry who had his arms around a girl. Steven walked over, telling John what was up. John said that he would tell the others if he saw them, but he wasn’t even positive if he was heading back to the hotel or not that night. Rolling his eyes, Steven walked back over to the group.

“Alright, let’s go.”


	7. Chapter 7

The train to Venice was at the crack of dawn. Everyone was exhausted, barely awake, and were wearing sweats and t-shirts. Most of them came back from the club, showered and changed clothes, then packed up to leave for the train station. Curled up in their seats, everyone passed out as soon as they were on the train. This train didn’t have tables, but compartments that fit four to six people in each. Spread out throughout the train, they closed their doors and lowered the blinds, keeping as much light out as possible. In one cabin, Jamie took up an entire bench, and Steven on the other. On the floor Daniel Agger and Martin Kelly were curled up together, using their arms as pillows.

When Steven decided he was finally awake enough to open his eyes, he was the only one up. Jamie was facing the wall and Martin’s head was buried in Daniel’s chest, his arms wrapped around him. Steven sat up and stretched, his face set in a frown. Xabi and he.... nothing was going to happen. Sergio fucked up everything. What was worse, Sergio didn’t care. He was instigating everything, not wanting them together. Steven covered his face with his hands. He wanted to be alone. He was sick of being surrounded by people. He wanted to talk to his parents, his brother. He wanted to curl up with a book and have some time to himself. He felt like he needed to charge his batteries, that with everyday that was passing by that he was becoming more and more tired. He felt more at ease, knowing everyone else in the compartment was asleep. He liked the silence. He sat cross legged, opening the blinds so he could watch the scenery go by. It was a twelve hour train ride and they were only a few hours in at most. He wasn’t wearing a watch so he didn’t really know how much time had passed already.

*-*-*

Xabi had his head against the window, his legs stretched out to the bench across from him. He, Pepe, Esteban, and Raul were in one compartment and stretched across both benches. They were sitting up, but their heels just reached across so they could be more comfortable. Xabi had barely slept, though. He rested his eyes, but his mind was going a million miles per hour it seemed. His jaw clenched as he thought about the club, about the fact that Sergio just had to tell him about what happened, about what he did with Steven.

They fucked around. He just... Xabi sighed. Sergio had to take everyone, everything from him. He couldn’t even hook up last night. He was about to, sure. He was dancing with some guy named Cristiano. Cristiano was interested in him, but in the end he just left him, going back to the hotel alone. He couldn’t do anything with him. He wanted Steven more. Steven who had been with Sergio. Xabi opened his eyes, looking around the compartment. Everyone else was asleep. He looked at his watch, they had been traveling for just around four hours. It was only nine in the morning.

“God dammit.” He whispered as he stood up. He carefully maneuvered his way to the door, going out into the hallway where he headed to the restroom. As he got nearer, he saw the door open: Steven walked out. Xabi’s heart stopped for a moment, he stopped walking for a split second. He thought about going into the nearest compartment until Steven passed but it was too late, Steven saw him. He gritted his teeth, then walked forward.

*-*-*

Of all the people to walk into the hallway, it had to be him. It had to be Xabi. Steven shut the door to the bathroom and approached Xabi, his lips pressed together in a frown as they got closer. He didn’t know what he should do. Should he start a conversation? No. Why would he? Xabi left him last night and didn’t come back. Sergio had made sure of that. As Xabi walked up to him, Steven’s eyes cast down, looking to the ground as he pressed his back against the wall, making himself as small as possible. He bit his lip, refusing to look at Xabi as he walked past him and into the bathroom. Steven shut his eyes as he heard the door lock. Nothing to say, it seemed. When he walked back into his compartment, everyone was awake. He didn’t want them to be, though. He wished they were still asleep so he could have more time to think.

*-*-*

Xabi stayed in the bathroom longer than was deemed socially acceptable. The more he thought about Sergio touching Steven, the angrier he got. He closed his eyes, there they were. Sergio on top of him, his mouth on him. Xabi dry heaved over the sink. He thought about Mikel, about Sergio’s mouth on him. Xabi sat with his back against the door, his legs up against his chest as he wrapped his arms around his knees, his chin resting on them. He closed his eyes, trying to control his breathing. He wished Sergio hadn’t come on the trip. He wasn’t supposed to, originally. He popped in last minute, with that smile on his face that sold everyone else. The smile that could win him anything, that won him Steven.

If he said anything, he would look like the possessive one, the crazy one. He didn’t have a right to say that Steven was his. Steven was no one’s. Steven was Steven. Xabi thought about how he was interested in his pictures he took, thought about how easily they fit together, their hands on each other. He thought about how it had felt when he was with Mikel. How happy they had been. Xabi’s eyes tightened as he banged his head back against the door. A knock startled him as he scrambled onto his feet and wiped at his eyes, even though he hadn’t shed a tear. He opened the door to find Sergio there. Xabi’s eyes narrowed.

“Hogging the bathroom, Alonso?” He asked, pushing himself in past Xabi. Xabi’s jaw clenched. “Get sick?”

“Fuck off.” Xabi said, not able to think of anything coherent to say to the smug asshole that stood in front of him. Xabi’s fist wanted to connect to Sergio’s jaw, but he refrained. He took a deep breath, but didn’t break eye contact.

“Just a question, Xabs. No need to get your panties in a twist.” Sergio said, the corner of his mouth turning upwards. Xabi grumbled and turned away, walking down the hallway, back to his friends. He wanted to be in Venice. He wanted to roam around, he wanted not to be cooped up on a train for twelve hours.

“Don’t fucking call me Xabs!” He yelled down the hallway as he opened the door to his compartment. When he shut the door back Pepe, Esteban and Raul all looked at him with jaws dropped and eyebrows raised.

“You okay?” Raul asked. Xabi sat down, sighing. Raul barely knew him, he probably thinks he is a nutter, off his rocker. Esteban looked at Raul and shook his head.

“No, he isn’t.” Xabi’s eyes narrowed.

“Don’t speak for me. I hate that.” He said, sitting up straighter. “Mikel did that all the time and it drove me-” Xabi ended his sentence abruptly. He pulled up a leg onto the bench and brought it up to his chest, leaning his head against it as his fingers locked together. He looked out the window, not wanting to explain why he probably just woke up the entire car. Esteban bit his lip.

“Does it have to do with you dancing with that random-”

“His name was Cristiano.” Xabi whispered.

“With Cristiano last night instead of Stevie?” Esteban asked. Pepe remained silent, but attentive. They all looked at Xabi expectantly. Xabi gathered his thoughts. “I mean you two were so close in line and at dinner-”

“Dude, Stevie never... I have never seen him with someone like that.” Raul said. Xabi looked at him.

“What?” Xabi asked. Raul shrugged.

“Steven is the most like... okay. Get this.” Raul started to say, making sure he had everyones attention. “So Steven is the nicest guy ever, yeah? I mean he’d doss about with the guys, banter and shit like that... but I mean, girls? Never. Guys? Not that I knew of. With you last night it was like a different Stevie.” Raul said. Xabi’s stomach sank, he looked away from Raul.

“That doesn’t mean anything.” Xabi whispered.

“What do you mean, Xabi?” Pepe asked. “You gotta tell us, man. What happened?”

“Don’t fucking worry about it.” Xabi said, hoping he sounded resolute. Pepe rolled his eyes.

“Xabi, we have like five fucking hours in this train. You are going to word vomit it out at one point, might as well start now.” Esteban said. Xabi glared at him, dropping his leg to the ground. Xabi looked at Raul.

“Just because you hadn’t seen him with anyone doesn’t mean shit.”

“Why do you say that?” Raul asked. Xabi knew he sounded like an asshole, but he didn’t really have a grasp on his own feelings, let alone what was coming out of his mouth. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t even want to tell them about Sergio.

“Because he... and Sergio-”

“No fucking way.” Pepe stated. Xabi just nodded. “How do you know that?”

“Sergio told me last night.”

“Wait, what?” Raul asked.

“Sergio and Stevie must have done something.” Esteban stated. Xabi shut his eyes and covered his face with his hand.

“Can we stop gossiping, for fuck’s sakes.” Everyone was quiet for a moment.

“But Steven doesn’t like Sergio.” Raul said, his face serious.

*-*-*

“Hey you.” Jamie smiled up at Steven as he sat down next to him. Daniel Agger and Martin Kelly took the other bench. Steven gave Jamie a small smile.

“Hey, Carra.” He said, sighing.

“You still down, lad?” Jamie asked him. Steven shrugged, looking at Daniel and Martin, not wanting to talk about it.

“It’s nothing.” He whispered.

“What’s nothing?” Daniel asked. Steven bit his lip. Could they not talk about him for a minute? Couldn’t they talk about how John Terry mysteriously showed up on the train with a black eye and the buttons from his shirt missing? Or about how Andy was dropped off at the hotel by two middle aged women? Those topics seemed more interesting on his sad excuse for a love life. Not even a love life, a fucking unwanted blowjob and an apparent fight with the person he liked.

“The lad’s in some love triangle.” Jamie said offhandedly. Steven’s eyes shot daggers through Jamie. “Calm down, Stevie. Maybe they could help, yeah?” Jamie offered. “You know I am not much help.” He mumbled.

“With who?” Daniel asked.

“Is it about Xabi?” Martin asked. Steven nodded. Daniel looked at Martin.

“How did you know that?”

“I am observant.” Martin said, smiling and poking Daniel in the side. Daniel swatted his hand away.

“Alright, alright. Stevie, so who is the third?” Daniel asked. Steven rolled his eyes.

“Sergio.”

“What?” Martin bellowed. “That guy? Is he with Xabi or something?” He asked. Steven shook his head.

“You have it backwards.” Jamie offered. Martin’s jaw dropped.

“You and Sergio?”

“Not exactly.”

“Lad, stop being vague.” Jamie said. Steven sighed. Why did this have to be the longest fucking train ride ever?

“Sergio kept coming onto me and we might have-”

“You did.” Jamie butt in.

“Sergio and I... did something.”

“What sort of something?” Daniel asked. Steven’s cheeks pinkened. “I mean if you like Xabi, it matters what you did, you know? Was it just a kiss? Hand job? Blow job? Did you fuck? Snowball? Rimming? Felching? Dutch rudder?” He asked in a rush. Martin watched Daniel talk. When he was done spouting off what Steven possibly could have done, Martin looked back at Steven.

“Blow job.” Steven whispered. Martin let out a sigh.

“You gave him one?” He asked. Steven shook his head. “Alright, see that there. You said Sergio hit on you, and he gave you the blow job.”

“It wasn’t even like... a full one or anything.”

“Explain.” Daniel said. Steven looked at Jamie who only shrugged.

“Well, I sort of pushed him off and ran back to the party.”

“So you basically didn’t do shit with him.” Daniel stated. Steven shook his head.

“No, I did. And then he told Xabi what happened-”

“He... told Xabi?” Martin asked. Steven’s jaw clenched. He was done. He didn’t want to talk about this anymore. “Why would he do that?”

“I don’t know.” Steven said, looking out the window.

“And now you two aren’t talking?” Daniel asked. Steven nodded.

“I just passed him in the hall and he walked right by me.” Steven said, his voice low as he looked down at his hands. He wanted to be alone. Every one was silent.

“What exactly did Sergio tell him happened?” Martin asked.

“He just said that he mentioned ‘us’ to him. When I asked what he said all he told me was that he said the truth.”

“Then he lied.” Daniel said nonchalantly.

“What, no he-”

“He would have just told you what he said, if he had told the truth. You need to find out what he said to Xabi.”

“He isn’t talking to me.”

“I am just telling you, that is what I think you should do.” Daniel reiterated.

*-*-*  
Vicente waited for everyone to gather together in the lobby of the hotel in Venice before he started his speech. He said the same thing every time, not to walk around alone, don’t destroy property that isn’t theirs, don’t get robbed... the norm. No one was paying attention, really. They were antsy to get their room assignments so that they could go change then head out for the night. Being couped up all day in the train had everyone on edge.

Steven and Xabi were standing at opposite ends of the lobby as they names were read off: “John Terry and Raul Meireles, Jamie Carragher and David Villa, Xabi Alonso and Steven Gerrard...” Steven and Xabi locked eyes for a split second then both looked away from the other.

After all of the names were called, everyone walked towards the elevators. Everyone, except Steven and Xabi. Xabi was leaning against a pilaster with his arms crossed, his jaw set as he watched everyone pile into the lifts. Steven was sitting on one of the couches, looking at his hands. He couldn’t believe, out of all the people he could room with...someone cleared their throat. He looked up to see Xabi standing over him.

“Come on.” He whispered, then walked away, getting the key from Kenny. Steven followed, grabbing his bag and walking behind Xabi. They were silent the entire way up to their room, as they walked down the hallway. Xabi threw his things down on the closest bed then walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Steven sat his things down on the ground next to his bed then laid down on his side, his back facing the bathroom door. He didn’t care if he looked sad, pathetic, emo... it didn’t matter. He wanted to go home. He wanted his parents, his brother. He wanted to play footie with his friends and go around to his favorite chippy. He wanted comfort, he wanted Liverpool.

*-*-*

Xabi stood with his back to the bathroom door, his hands clasped together behind his back as he leaned his head against the door with his eyes closed. Of all the people to room with, now, it had to be Steven. Why couldn’t they room together in Prague? It would have saved them the hassle... well. Sergio would have found a way. He always did. Xabi opened the door to find Steven faced away from him. Xabi frowned, but said nothing as he grabbed his suitcase, getting his camera out of it, grabbed his phone and wallet, then left. He didn’t want to stay in, especially with Steven there. He needed to get out, smell the fresh air, and hang out with his friends. When he got down to the lobby he smiled when he saw Pepe with Raul and Esteban.

“Alright, I see you have your camera. Where are we headed?” Pepe asked. Xabi shrugged.

“I just think we should walk around, not have anywhere in mind.”

“So walk until we are hungry and find a place to eat?” Raul suggested. Xabi laughed and nodded his head in agreement along with the others.

“I want to go on a gondola.” Esteban said.

“I think that is going to need to happen anyways, Pirata.” Pepe said, laughing. “The streets are water...” He trailed off. “This is going to take some getting used to.” He said as they made their way out of the hotel.

*-*-*

 

Steven fell asleep on the bed, waking up to the sound of a text. He groaned as he fished it out of his pocket to see that it was from Jamie.

“Come out with us to get something to eat.” It said. Steven frowned. He looked out the window, it was just now dusk.

“Was napping, don’t feel like going out.” He hit send. Moments later there was a knock at the door. Steven rolled his eyes as he got out of the bed to open the door for Jamie. It had to be Jamie. He was right, of course. As soon as the door opened, Jamie made his way inside.

“Come on lad, we are going out to get a bite. You’re coming.” Steven’s shoulders slumped.

“Can’t I just take a night to myself?” He asked. Jamie grabbed onto Steven’s shoulders and ushered him out the door.

“Nah, you just need some fresh air.” Jamie said as he let go of Steven. Steven followed behind Jamie, with his hands in his pockets.

Everyone was meeting at a restaurant, which Steven wasn’t looking forward to. He would rather it just be a small group, not the entire lot of them. Steven sat next to Jamie, across from Esteban and Andy Carroll. Pepe and David Villa were near him as well. He was glad, they did most of the talking. They were seated out on a patio, water surrounding them. Steven hadn’t said a word the entire time, picking at his food and wishing he was up in his room. He wanted to call his parents, talk to his mom. His eyes couldn’t help but drift down the table, towards Xabi. Xabi who hadn’t stopped talking, hadn’t stopped smiling as he talked to John Terry and Martin Skrtel.

Steven didn’t know why he kept doing this to himself. He was pretty sure that if he could just get away, go up to his room and sleep that he would feel better than he did here, surrounded by people. The sinking feeling in his stomach wasn’t subsiding, the feeling of hopelessness was spiraling. Jamie kept nudging him, trying to help him snap out of it but he just wasn’t in the mood.

By the time dinner was through he was ready to sneak away, head back on his own when Sergio approached him. Steven’s back stiffened.

“Hey, I was about to head back to the hotel, care to join me?” He asked, flashing a pearly white smile at Steven. Steven’s eyes narrowed.

“No, I am not heading back.” He whispered, looking around. His eyes fell on Xabi, who had been looking at him. They both looked away from each other almost immediately.

“You sure?” Sergio asked. Steven nodded.

“Positive.” He said, walking away from Sergio, standing by Jamie who raised his eyebrow at him.

“What are you still doing here, I thought that you would have slipped away by now.”

“Sergio is going back.” Steven said, his voice dripping with disdain. Jamie scoffed.

“You’re a big boy, Stevie. Just head back. You look bloody miserable mate. Skip out, stop trying to prove something.” He said, his voice soft. Steven sighed, but nodded.

“I will as soon as he disappears.”

When Steven got back to the hotel room he got ready for bed, crawled under the covers, then called his parents. He talked to them until he fell asleep.

*-*-*

Xabi went out with Pepe, David Villa, David Silva, John Terry, and Andy Carroll. They walked around, trying to find somewhere to go, a club, a bar, something fun. It seemed as though Venice didn’t have much of a nightlife. After they got back from their expedition, Xabi stayed in the lobby and called his parents, who he hadn’t spoken to since they landed in Greece. He didn’t want to go upstairs, especially if Steven was still awake.

By the time he made his way to their room, he was exhausted. The lights were still on, but Steven was passed out with his phone in his hand. Xabi changed quickly and crawled into his bed, turning the lights out. It didn’t matter how tired he was, he couldn’t fall asleep. All he could think about was the fact that Steven was in the same room as he was, in the bed next to him. Xabi sighed, wishing that Prague had never happened.


	8. Chapter 8

Xabi woke up early, wanting to walk around on his own before others woke up. For the first time since they started traveling, he felt refreshed and awake. He roamed around, found a coffee shop, and was touring around the numerous churches that he wanted to look at. There was no use trying to invite others, they weren’t interested. Steven had been, Xabi’s mind kept reminding him. Xabi pushed thoughts about his current room mate to the back of his mind. Every time he thought of Steven, Sergio’s face appeared. His hands, his tongue, his eyes, his mouth. Xabi shut his eyes tight, trying to rid himself of these visions that were plaguing his mind. When he opened his eyes, he looked down at his watch to find that it was almost time to meet up with Esteban, Raul, and whoever else wanted to walk around with them.

Xabi rushed to their meeting place, weaving in and out of the crowd, keeping his camera safe as he maneuvered around people who were walking slower than he wanted to. He made it just in time to see them approaching. Xabi had a sigh of relief: Steven wasn’t with them. With Raul and Esteban were Daniel Agger and Martin Kelly. Xabi smiled as they approached.

“Ready for some gondola racing?” Esteban asked. Xabi shook his head as he laughed.

“I don’t think they race, Pirata.”

“Of course they do. Just like Fast and Furious, just with super fucking fast boats and shit. James Bond style stunts.” Esteban said with a serious expression.

“I would totally watch that shit.” Raul added in.

“I don’t think gondolas go that fast.” Daniel said, squinting from the sunlight, he had forgotten his sunglasses.

“Don’t burst my bubble, dude.” Esteban said, unfazed. They walked around for what seemed like hours, ate at a small cafe, then got in separate gondolas so that Esteban could see if they would race. Xabi got in with Daniel and Martin. He was taking pictures as they went along slowly, Esteban and Raul were behind them.

Daniel cleared his throat, getting Xabi’s attention.

“So, question mate.” He started. Xabi remained silent, waiting to see what Daniel was going to ask him. Martin was looking at Daniel, his arm resting on the back of the gondola, a finger grazing over Daniel’s shoulder lazily. Xabi bit the inside of his mouth idly, remembering how it felt to be so comfortable around someone, how it felt just to be near them. He snapped out of it, looking at Daniel. “About you and Stevie...” Daniel glanced at Xabi, gauging his reaction to him bringing up Steven.

“What about Stevie and I?” He asked, his voice low. He wasn’t sure where this was going. He and Steven were nothing, strangers if anything. Strangers who had almost hooked up. But that wasn’t happening now.

“Do uh, if Sergio hadn’t blown Stevie-”

“What?” Xabi asked. Blown? “They fucked.” He said, covering his mouth with his hand. He barely knew Martin and Daniel, he wasn’t even sure why Daniel had just brought up Steven to him. Daniel’s eyebrows shot up. Martin shook his head.

“No, they didn’t.” Martin scoffed. “Not at all.”

“I told you Sergio lied.” Daniel mused. Martin smiled. Xabi was confused. “But that isn’t the point. The point is... if whatever happened, didn’t happen-”

“No, hold on.” Xabi said. Daniel stopped talking. “Sergio blew Stevie?”

“Not entirely.” Martin stated. “Stevie pushed him off. Did Stevie not try to talk to you?” He asked. Xabi felt like he was being interrogated.

“No he, yes. He tried. I walked out.” He said, closing his eyes. Daniel and Martin looked at each other.

“Well, maybe you should hear him out.” Daniel sighed as they pulled up to their destination. Xabi didn’t respond, he felt like shit. Sergio and Steven didn’t fuck? All his anger rushed out of him, his frustration about the situation. He thought back to Steven coming into the party without his shirt on, how he was practically hysterical.

“I am a fucking asshole.” Xabi whispered as they got out of the gondola. Martin pat Xabi on the back and shook his head.

“Nah, you just didn’t know. And Steven doesn’t really talk about himself much.”

“Quietest mother fucker ever.” Daniel added in as they walked up to Esteban and Raul. “We totally won that, you are buying me a drink!” He said, a smile creeping across his face. Xabi smiled lightly, sighing. It felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

“What the fuck ever. Our gondola was broken.” Raul mumbled. Esteban came up to Xabi and put his arm over his shoulder.

“Hey Xabi....”

“What do you want, Pirata?” Xabi said, laughing, knowing Esteban’s tone well.

“Can I borrow your camera? I want to take awesome pictures. You know, like when you tilt the camera at an odd angle and shit.” Xabi rolled his eyes but handed it over.

“Be careful near the water.” He prompted. Esteban rolled his eyes and put the strap around his neck.

“Yes, ma’am.” He goaded. Xabi punched him in the arm.

*-*-*

Steven rolled out of bed with his phone still in his hand from the night before. He got in the shower, standing in the spray with his eyes closed and unmoving for ages before actually washing up. He put on a pair of sweats and made his bed, turning the TV on and finding something to watch in English. He was about to get back on his bed when there was a knock at the door. Reluctantly, he answered it. When he opened the door he smiled, Jamie was there with food.

“I knew you were going to be a shut in today, I brought us some sandwiches from a shop down the street.”

“I was about to order room service.” Steven said, laughing a little. “Thanks, Carra.” Jamie shrugged it off.

“Room service is always over priced. Everyone is at a fucking loss as to what to do, there isn’t really much of a night life here. We are thinking of going to a bar that John and Andy found tonight, if you wanted to go...” Jamie trailed off, looking at Steven expectantly. Steven only shrugged as he bit into the sandwich Jamie brought him. “Thought so.” He said, laughing.

“Gareth, John, Andy and I are all going walking around to try and find something to do tonight so just text me if you are up for anything.” He said, finishing his sandwich in record timing. Steven felt like a child who needed to have someone hold his hand in order to do anything. He made a face at himself. Jamie smirked at him, knowing exactly what Steven was thinking. “Maybe you should walk around a bit on your own?” He suggested. Steven shook his head.

“No, this is too different. There aren’t even any fucking roads, Carra. I want England.”

“I know, lad.” He said, sighing. “I knew you wouldn’t like Venice. Just you wait, the beach is next.” He said, winking. “Can’t go wrong with the ocean.” Steven smiled.

“No, you can’t.”

*-*-*

 

“Hey, Xabi.... can I borrow your phone?” Esteban asked. Xabi narrowed his eyes at him.

“Why?” He asked as they walked around.

“Because you have angry birds on yours and I want to play it.” He said, holding his hand out and making a grabby gesture with it. Xabi rolled his eyes and gave it to him. Esteban immediately pocketed it. Xabi frowned and looked at him, unsure what was happening until it was too late. Raul and Esteban grabbed a hold of him by his arms and legs, then flung him into the water.

Xabi barely had time to hold his breath before he was under water. When he resurfaced, he heard laughing. All Xabi was thinking about was the fact that he was glad they took his phone and camera off of him before they threw him into the water. When he climbed out, he was soaked through.

“That water is disgusting.” He spat as he twisted his shirt, ringing some of the water out. He was completely water logged. Esteban and Raul were cackling maniacally. “Very nice, getting me back for the shower.” He laughed. “Now I have to go fucking change, though.” Esteban pouted.

“Can I keep your camera?” He asked. Xabi narrowed his eyes at him. He was soaking wet, he didn’t really want to touch it. He didn’t want to ruin his camera.

“You can borrow it.” He said, sighing. “Don’t fucking break it.” He said, poking Esteban in the shoulder with a finger. Esteban grinned.

“I will guard it with my life.”

*-*-*

Stevie was curled up on his bed when he heard the door opening. He sat up and watched Xabi walk in, completely soaked to the bone. Stevie laughed, loudly, at the sight. As Xabi looked at him he bit his lip, trying to stifle the laughter. He looked ridiculous.

“What happened?” He asked, staying on the bed. Xabi cracked a smile as he began trying to pull his shirt over his head. Steven stopped laughing as he watched him do it.

“So the other day I turned the shower on on Raul and Esteban who were in the tub in Prague-”

“What were they doing in the tub?” Steven asked, perplexed. Xabi had a grin on his face as he turned around, bare chested.

“Sleeping.” He said, the smirk not leaving his face. Steven smiled, then dropped it when he remembered that Xabi was mad at him. He looked down at his hands, which were in his lap.

*-*-*

Xabi watched Steven look away from him and his stomach sank. This was his fault, for acting like a complete dick.

“So they threw me into the water in retaliation.” He said, sighing as he unzipped his jeans, pulling them carefully down, which was hard since they were so water logged. He slipped his shoes and socks off as well. He made a face, he felt disgusting. He couldn’t help but feel Steven’s eyes on him as he opened the balcony door and put his wet clothes outside. He would ring out his soaking wet briefs in the bathroom sink in a minute. He felt exposed, different. The weight that had been bearing him down was gone, but now his heart was seemingly beating in his throat. He didn’t know how to bring up the fact that everything changed since that morning. How now even being in the same room as Steven had him panting, wanting to ram him up against a wall and defile him. Xabi cleared his throat as he slowly walked towards the bathroom. He needed to shower, he needed to calm down or Steven would notice... everything. Xabi bent over, getting clean clothes out of his bag to change into after he washed the disgusting feeling off of him.

Xabi’s breath caught in his throat when he heard Steven get off of his bed. Xabi took a little bit longer than he needed to in order to pick out a shirt to wear. He had to think fast, how to bring up the fact that he thought Steven had fucked Sergio (been fucked by? That didn’t matter now). All that mattered was the fact that Sergio had tried and Steven had pushed him away. Xabi looked over his shoulder to see Steven standing there, gnawing on his bottom lip.

“Xabi, I just want you to know that I-”

“You didn’t sleep with him.” Xabi whispered, standing up, holding onto his clean clothes. Xabi wanted to drop his clothes and grab onto Steven’s face and kiss him, he was so close to him now. A small smile creeped across Steven’s face, he looked down and away from Xabi.

“I never said I did.”

“Sergio-”

“Obviously has some issues.” Steven said, laughing. Xabi couldn’t help but smile. Steven looked back up at him, his eyes flicking back and forth from Xabi’s lips and his eyes.

“I am sorry.” Xabi said. Steven frowned.

“What for?” He asked. Somehow their bodies were like magnets, getting closer and closer as the seconds passed. Xabi licked his lips as he looked into Steven’s eyes. He gulped.

“For being a dick, for not even asking you about it-” Steven cut Xabi off by kissing him, his hands gripping Xabi’s shoulders. Xabi broke the kiss, a blush appearing on his cheeks. “I... am disgusting right now.” Steven laughed.

“What?”

“The water.” Xabi whispered. Steven’s forehead was against his. “I was going to shower.” Steven’s hands trailed down Xabi’s shoulders, down his arms. He had goosebumps all over his body from Steven’s touch. “I will be quick.” He whispered, his breath short. He needed to cool off. Steven stepped back, letting him by. Xabi smiled at Steven as he shut the door. Fuck if he wasn’t really turned on. He turned on the shower then peeled off his briefs, tossing the soaked cloth into the sink.

*-*-*

Steven sat back down on his bed, his heart was beating fast and his mouth was dry. He could feel his heart beat in his ears. He just kissed Xabi. He leaned in, grabbed his face and... kissed him. And then he left. Well, he didn’t leave, he was in the shower. Steven looked at the door. He tried telling himself that Xabi was dirty from the water but what if... Xabi hadn’t wanted to be kissed? What if he was still mad? Sure, he hadn’t fucked Sergio, but Sergio had blown him. What if, what if, what if... Steven’s train of thought was interrupted by a knock at the door. He frowned, but got up to answer it. It was Jamie. Steven’s frown didn’t disappear.

“Alright, you. We are going out to dinner. No more shut in Stevie.” Jamie said as he walked into the room. He turned his head towards the bathroom when he heard the shower. “Xabi in there?” He asked. Steven nodded. “Another reason to leave, come on lad.” He said, walking over to Steven luggage.

“I don’t want to go.” Steven said, blocking Jamie from his suitcase. Jamie rolled his eyes.

“Come on lad, we’re just going to a restaurant down the way, it is on this block, you don’t even need to get in a gondola.”

“Jamie, that isn’t why.” Steven said, his voice rushed and low. Jamie furrowed his brow.

“What’s the problem then, you can’t still be full from that sandwich that was hours ago-”

“I kissed Xabi.” Steven hissed. Jamie raised his eyebrows.

“You what? I thought you two weren’t talking?” He asked. Steven shrugged.

“I don’t know what is going-” The shower stopped. Jamie and Steven waited for a second before they continued. “I don’t want to go out.”

“Maybe he wants to.” Jamie said as the door opened. A clean and dressed Xabi emerged, a little taken aback at the fact that Jamie was now in the room.

“Oh, hi Jamie.” He said, his wet briefs in his hand. He walked out onto the balcony and added them to his drying clothes. Jamie made a face at the briefs and looked at Steven.

“He got pushed into the water.” He supplied.

“Thrown.” Xabi said as he reentered the room.

“Oh yeah? By who?” Jamie asked. Steven looked down, he was still in his sweats. He grabbed a clean shirt and a pair of jeans and started changing clothes.

*-*-*

“Uh.... Raul and Pirata.” Xabi said as he watched Steven change. He snapped himself out of it, remembering that Jamie was right the fuck there. “I turned the water on in the shower when they were sleeping in the tub the other day.” Jamie laughed.

“Good pay back.”

“I thought so too.” Xabi said, smiling. He couldn’t help but look back at Steven who was zipping up his jeans. Xabi bit his lip, looking back at Jamie. “What’s going on?” He asked.

“We are going to dinner, let’s go.” Jamie said, making a hand motion towards the door.

“Oh! Alright, awesome.” Xabi said as he fished out a pair of flip flops from his suitcase. He looked at Steven out of the corner of his eye as he put them on, Steven was watching him. Xabi smiled slightly, standing up and patting his pants pockets. “Oh shit, my wallet is soaked.” He murmured as he walked back out onto the balcony and grabbed his wallet out of his jeans pocket. “Let me just grab my debit card...” He trailed off, talking to himself as he put his wallet back outside so that it could air dry. “We aren’t drinking are we?” He asked. Jamie shrugged.

“Don’t know, lad. You can if you want.” He offered. Xabi shook his head, looking at Steven.

“No, I don’t.”

After dinner, which was highly uneventful unless you could count the fact that Sergio, John, and Andy all disappeared when they started talking to a group of girls from France, everyone headed back to the hotel. Esteban and Gareth Bale suggested that everyone get some drinks then meet up in their room. Jamie dragged Steven and Xabi with him around the corner where he bought two six packs for them to share.

“Let’s not over do it for once.” He said, laughing. “Give our livers a bit of a rest for once.”

“I don’t think I even want one.” Xabi brought up.

“Oh come on, lad. Sleep it off tomorrow. What else is there to do?” Jamie asked. Xabi looked at Steven, who smiled.

“There is plenty to look at here.” Steven said plainly. “Lots of old buildings and churches.” Xabi smiled at him.

“Lots.”

Everyone was gathered in Esteban and Gareth’s room with their assorted beers, they pushed the beds as out of the way as you could to make room for as many people as possible.

“I want to play beer pong.” Raul stated.

“No way, the table is too short it won’t work.” Gareth pointed out. He was right, the small end table that was provided in the room would never work for beer pong at all.

“Flip cup?” He asked. Everyone exchanged glances, nodding.

“We could do flip cup.” Jamie said. “Whose got the solo cups? Anyone?” He asked.

“There is a store around the corner.” Xabi suggested. “I could go get some.” He added in when no one said anything. He looked to Steven expectantly.

“I’ll come.” He said, handing Jamie his open beer. Jamie shrugged and drank out of it.

“Hurry back lads.” He said as they walked out the door. Xabi glanced at Steven out of the corner of his eye as they walked down the hallway, towards the elevator.

“I am glad Sergio went out.” Xabi muttered. Steven smiled, then nodded.

“Me too. He is a little overbearing.”

“Ruiner of things.”

“Definitely.” Steven sighed as they got in the elevator, alone. As the door closed their hands were all over each other within the blink of an eye. Steven’s fingers raked through Xabi’s hair, Xabi’s fingers found Steven’s belt loops, bringing their bodies closer as their lips met in a collision of lust. They didn’t push the ground floor button for at least a few minutes, not breaking the kiss until they desperately needed air. Once they broke apart, Xabi pushed the button and licked his lips, looking at Steven who was leaning against the wall of the elevator. Xabi bit his lip, he wanted to hit stop. He wanted to press Steven against the wall of the elevator, he wanted to unzip his pants...

“What are you waiting for?” Steven asked, his voice rough. Xabi smirked as his arms wrapped around Steven’s waist, a hand slipping down and cupping his ass, making Steven groan as they resumed kissing. Steven’s hands found their way underneath Xabi’s shirt, his fingers digging into Xabi’s back as they deepened the kiss. Their eyes shot open when they heard the distinct ding of the elevator hitting the ground floor. They broke apart, their lips red, and their clothes askew as the door opened.

An old couple waited as Steven and Xabi got off the elevator and made their way out of the lobby, walking close together, but not touching.

“Solo cups.” Xabi said idly as they walked, his lips were puffy and his hair was messed up. Steven couldn’t help but smile at how he felt. How kissing Xabi made him feel. It was nothing like how Sergio made him feel the other night as he pushed him against the bed.

“I hope this store has them.” Steven mumbled, looking around. He thought it smelled and he didn’t like the fact that he felt like if he didn’t pay attention that he could fall off the edge. He was sure he wouldn’t, but he couldn’t help but move to the other side of Xabi so that he was closer to the water. Xabi chuckled, but didn’t say anything to him.

When they made it back to the hotel room, everyone cheered for the solo cups that they brought. They split into two teams Stevie, Carra, Pepe, and David Villa on one team with Raul, Esteban, Gareth, and David Silva on the other. Xabi watched, sipping a beer, nursing it since he didn’t want to really drink. Apparently, Gareth Bale and Pepe were champions at flip cup, getting their cups on the first try every time it was their turn. The first round Carra’s team won, the second it was Gareth’s. Afterwards they shuffled around. They played fast, back to back. Before they knew it they didn’t have enough to continue playing. Gareth and Raul were laying on his bed mumbling to each other, Jamie and Esteban were sitting on the floor with a playing card against their heads trying to guess which suit they had.

Steven, as far as Xabi could tell, was two sheets to the wind.

“I am ready.” Steven said, his cheeks pink from the alcohol. Xabi laughed, still holding the same beer he had been the whole night. No one really paid any attention to the fact that he wasn’t drinking.

“For what?” Xabi asked. Steven sighed deeply, looking back at Jamie for a moment before turning his attention back to Xabi.

“To go home.”

“Home?” Xabi asked, confused.

“Yeah, to our room.” He said, setting his cup down on the ground, making sure that it wouldn’t tip over. Xabi only laughed as Steven slipped an arm around Xabi’s waist.

“Oh, that home. Okay, let’s go then.” He said, bidding everyone a good night with a wave of his hand. When the door shut his hand slid down to Steven’s waist, mirroring what Steven was doing.

“You didn’t drink.” Steven said, pouting. Xabi smiled, looking at Steven and placing a light kiss on his cheek.

“I said I didn’t want to tonight.”

“I didn’t think you were serious.” Steven mumbled. Xabi bit back a laugh by gnawing on his bottom lip, his fist bunched up Steven’s shirt as they entered the elevator. Once again, as the doors shut their lips crashed together. Only this time instead of deepening the kiss, Xabi kept it light, brushing his lips gently against Steven’s as his hands rested against Steven’s stomach, keeping a distance between them. Steven hmphed at him. “What?” He asked, his bottom lip sticking out in an overly dramatic pout. Xabi couldn’t help but smile at him.

“I just don’t-” They were interrupted by the ding of the elevator, the doors opened to reveal John, Andy and Sergio. Xabi’s back stiffened as his hand dropped from Steven’s stomach. Steven’s hands, which had still been around Xabi’s waist, stayed put.

“What were you lot doing on that floor?” Steven asked to John and Andy, clearly trying to ignore Sergio who had stood beside him, a little too close for comfort. Xabi couldn’t help but feel Sergio’s gaze on him, on the fact that Steven had his hands on him still, seemingly not going to drop them in the presence of the other guys. Xabi felt his cheeks reddening but didn’t want Steven to drop his hands at all. He wanted him to leave them there.

“We are going out and getting more alcohol.”

“For the girls.” Andy and John said. Sergio remained silent. Xabi locked eyes with him, not saying a word.

“Girls?” Steven asked.

“Yeah, there are four girls waiting for us.” John said, grinning.

“But you are headed up, not down.” Steven said as a matter of factly. Xabi laughed. John looked at the elevator buttons and cussed.

“Whatever. Once you two are off we will just head down then.” Andy said. “No biggie.”

“No biggie.” Steven said, laughing as the elevator door opened on their floor. Xabi guided Steven off the elevator, not looking back as the door shut. As soon as it did, Steven’s hand dropped from Xabi’s waist. Xabi frowned, glancing at Steven whose face became serious.

“He is a fucking cockblock.” Steven practically shouted. Xabi covered Steven’s mouth with his hand playfully as he laughed.

“Stevie, shh. People are sleeping.”

“They would think he was one too if they knew him.” He said, pushing Xabi’s hand down onto his chest with one of his own hands.

“This is true. But they don’t need to know about him at one in the morning.” Xabi said as they walked up to their room. He opened the door and walked in, Steven followed and crawled into Xabi’s bed, taking his shoes off as he went. Xabi laughed, then followed him. Steven slipped out of his jeans and pulled his shirt over his head, then crawled under the covers. Xabi followed suit. When he crawled under the covers Steven kissed him, a hand cupping Xabi’s face lightly as his thumb slid across his cheek. Xabi fell into the kiss, breathing it in. Xabi didn’t want to hook up with Steven while he was drunk, he wanted to be with him sober. Their first kiss he forgot because he had been drunk. He just wanted to be with him. When they broke the kiss Steven pulled Xabi in closer to him.

“Am I in your bed or are you in mine?” He asked. Xabi’s hands couldn’t help but roam over Steven’s chest, his shoulders, his stomach. He tried desperately not to go lower. He reminded himself that he wanted a sober Steven, not a drunk one.

“You are in mine.” He whispered. Steven nodded, his head against the pillow, his eyes lidded.

“I am not moving.” He muttered. Xabi rested his head on the pillow as well, his hand stilling on Steven’s stomach.

“No one said you had to.”

“Mmmhmm.” Steven said, sighing and closing his eyes. After a few silent minutes, Xabi closed his as well.


	9. Chapter 9

Steven woke up when he felt Xabi get off the bed, the sudden absence of the body next to him jarring him into waking up. Steven’s hand reached out to the place where Xabi had just gotten up from, feeling how warm it was. Steven heard the water turn on, heard Xabi brushing his teeth. He opened his eyes, rolling onto his side and looked towards the bathroom. Xabi was standing over the sink in his briefs. Not paying attention to Steven, he was seemingly looking at himself in the mirror. Steven didn’t want to move, his mind was fuzzy from the night before, the beginnings of a hangover. He closed his eyes and covered his face with his forearm, draping it over his face and blocking light. He felt the bed dip down, discerning that Xabi was sitting right by him, his hands on either side of Steven’s chest. Steven felt Xabi’s lips on his in a chaste kiss. Steven smiled, his arm moving, his hand grasping Xabi’s upper arm then sliding downwards, to his wrist. Xabi deepened this kiss. He tasted of spearmint.

“Morning.” Steven whispered, his voice scratchy. Xabi chuckled, sitting up straight but his hands remaining at either side of Steven.

“You smell of beer.” Xabi said, smiling. Steven huffed, sitting up. They were face to face, inches apart. Steven leaned forward, capturing Xabi’s lips with his again for only a moment before getting out of the bed. He left Xabi sitting, then entered the bathroom to wash up himself. “Want to go sightseeing with me?” Xabi asked. Steven stopped brushing his teeth and looked at him, sitting on the bed practically naked.

“Sure.” He said, then continued his morning ritual. Xabi beamed, getting up from the bed and walking over to his suitcase, picking out clothes for the day. Steven remembered that they were in Venice. He didn’t like Venice. But he wanted to spend time with Xabi. “No gondolas.” He said, laughing. Xabi stuck his tongue out as he pulled a shirt on.

“No promises.” He quipped as he sat on the bed and put his shoes on. Steven walked back into the bedroom and flopped back down on the bed, his stomach leaning against Xabi’s back, an arm draped around Xabi’s waist. Xabi’s fingers found Steven’s. “You can’t go out in just briefs.” Xabi said, smiling and turning his body so he could see Steven better. Steven buried his head against Xabi’s thigh, his eyes peeking out to look up at him.

“I don’t want to go out.” He mumbled against the fabric of Xabi’s jeans. Xabi bit his lip, smiling down at him.

“Come on. It will be fun. I want to show you some places from yesterday.”

“You don’t... mind going to the same places as yesterday?” Steven asked, his chin now rested on Xabi’s upper thigh. Xabi’s teeth grazed over his lip as he looked down at him, his stomach was in knots as his fingers raked through Steven’s hair.

“Not all the same places. Just a few.” He said. Steven sighed. “I found a chippy.” He added. Steven’s eyes lit up.

“You did not.”

“I did. You won’t get any if you don’t come out with me.” Xabi coaxed. Steven laughed and rolled over, getting off the bed to change.

As they got in the elevator, Xabi pushed the button for the floor they were on the night before. A look of confusion spread across Steven’s face. Xabi chuckled.

“Pirata still has my camera.” He said as he leaned towards Steven, their arms brushing together, his head resting only for a moment on Steven’s shoulder before the door opened and they walked out. Steven bit his lip as they walked down the hallway. He felt like he was going to explode, why in the world were they going out and doing... touristy things when they should be in their hotel room. This was the last day they were going to be in Venice! The last day that they would be sharing a hotel room. They should be making the most of it.

Xabi knocked on the door and waited only a few seconds before he knocked again, louder. Steven remained silent at his side, with his hands in his pockets. A few moments later, the door opened wide. Esteban, with his hair a mess and only wearing boxers, leaned on the door frame with his eyes barely open.

“What.” He said, his voice croaky. Steven looked in the room where Gareth laid passed out in one bed while Raul was in the other. Steven’s cheeks pinkened as his attention went back to Esteban.

“I need my camera.” Xabi said, glancing inside himself, then looking at Steven knowingly. Steven gave him a small smile as Esteban disappeared into the room then resurfaced with Xabi’s beloved camera. “Thanks. Want to go sightseeing with us?” He said, grinning widely at Esteban. Esteban only glared at him.

“No.” Was all he said as he shut the door. Xabi laughed as he put the camera around his neck, holding it in his hands as he looked down at it.

“Classic.” He muttered as they got back into the elevator. Steven pushed the button for the ground floor, then stood by Xabi, remembering the elevator rides from yesterday. He remembered how Xabi held back on him last night before Sergio got in the elevator. Steven looked down at the ground, not knowing if he should bring that up or not. Not even knowing how.

*-*-*

After walking around the entire morning, showing Steven his favorite churches and buildings from the day before and then moving on to new sites, Xabi brought Steven to the fish and chips place that he had passed by the day before. Xabi could tell by Steven’s reaction to the food that he was in heaven; it made Xabi smile. He liked this, but he could tell that this is what Steven missed. Steven missed home. He missed familiarity and his loved ones.

“So... is Raul gay?” Xabi asked. Steven shrugged, then shook his head.

“No, he.... no I don’t think so. That was why I was shocked to see them together.” Steven said as he ate a chip. Xabi noticed that Steven was beginning to blush.

“That is odd. Neither is Pirata.” He said, laughing. “I guess they just keep getting really fucking drunk then.”

“I suppose.”

“Because I found them curled up in a tub together and turned the water on in the shower to get them up.”

“That couldn’t have been very comfortable.” Steven said, not looking at Xabi. Xabi hadn’t really noticed how much Steven didn’t seem keen on talking about other guys being together, or relationships for that matter.

“I wouldn’t want to sleep in a tub.” Xabi laughed lightly. Steven remained quiet. “Are you all touristed out now? Or can we go to one more place?” Xabi asked. Steven shrugged.

“It is up to you.” He said. Xabi pouted. He wanted Steven to do something that he wanted to do, not be dragged around.

“What do you want to see?” Xabi asked. Again, a shrug.

“I don’t care, really Xabi.”

“But you would rather be in the room right now.” Xabi added. Steven bit his lip. Xabi wanted to bite it, ravish him right here in the open. Somehow he thought Steven wouldn’t really be up for that.

“I don’t mind walking around with you-”

“What the fuck is this?” Jamie’s voice bellowed from behind them. Steven smiled up at his best friend who now stood over them. “How did you get this wanker to come out?” Jamie asked. Xabi shrugged, laughing.

“I just asked him. It wasn’t hard.”

“He baited me with food.” Steven said. Jamie rolled his eyes.

“I shouldn’t have brought you that sandwich yesterday then. Make you scavenge for your own food next time!” He said, smirking at them. Steven looked down at his food, a smile spread across his face. “Anyways, I was just up at your room knocking like a bloody idiot, trying to get you to come out. Fuck if someone hadn’t already beat me to it. Mind if I sit?” Jamie asked, looking at Xabi. Xabi offered him a chair, holding his hand out. Jamie sat and sighed. “You lot left early last night.” Xabi looked at Steven.

“I was drunk.” Steven said, simply. “The sleepy drunk.”

“You are always sleepy drunk.” Jamie laughed. Xabi got a text. He got his phone out to see that it was Esteban. It read: “you still out? We were thinking of starting the party early in Cesc and Sergio’s room.” Xabi rolled his eyes.

“Pirata says they are already starting to drink.” Xabi informed Steven and Jamie. “Party in Cesc and Sergio’s room.” He added, looking at Steven. Steven’s shoulder slumped. Jamie noticed.

“Ah, it is barely one! I should probably go get some alcohol. You two in or out?” He asked as he stood up. Xabi looked at Steven, waiting for his response. He wasn’t going to decide for him. Steven wasn’t looking at him, but at Jamie.

“Out.” He said plainly. Xabi let out the breath he didn’t even realize he had been holding. Jamie smiled, nodding his head.

“You two have fun taking pictures and... doing whatever.” He said as he waved goodbye. Xabi turned his attention to Steven who had just finished up his meal.

“What should we do now?” Xabi asked, fidgeting with his camera. Steven bit his lip and looked at Xabi.

“I want to go back to the hotel.” He said. Xabi pursed his lips together. “After we go see a few more places.”

“You don’t mind going to a few more?”

“No. And I want to look at the shops, get something for Paul.” He said, standing up and throwing his trash away.

“Paul?” Xabi asked. His mind flashed to another guy, besides Sergio. A guy back home perhaps. Xabi didn’t know anything about Steven.

“Paul’s my older brother.” Steven said as they began walking. Xabi let out a breath slowly. “His birthday is coming up soon.”

“I have an older brother too.” Xabi said, covering his sudden paranoia. “His name is Mikel.” Mikel, but not the same Mikel who he had caught with Sergio. Sometimes he wished it had been his brother, not Mikel Arteta his boyfriend of two years. Xabi looked over at Steven who was looking at the shops as they passed. Xabi liked him.

“There you two are!!” Pepe boomed from behind them. Xabi and Steven stopped walking just in time to have Pepe’s arms wrap around them. “Missing in action and all that. You get your sight seeing out of the way yet, Xabi?” He jabbed. Xabi laughed, slipping away from Pepe’s grasp. Pepe’s arm dropped, but stayed around Steven’s shoulder.

“I did, but we were about to head to a few more places.” Xabi said, smiling and taking a picture of Steven and Pepe. Pepe stuck his tongue out and flashed a ‘rock on’ hand gesture. Xabi rolled his eyes. “What have you been doing all day?”

“Slept in, got lunch, walking around the shops... word on the street is party at Cesc’s.”

“I am passing.” Steven said. Xabi side eyed Pepe for leaving Sergio’s name out of the mix.

“Me too.”

“Really? Both of you?” He made a face.

“We are leaving for the bus early. I am sick of riding hung over.” Xabi said, picking at his camera lens.

“Oh yeah, we are taking a bus to Marseille.” Pepe said, thinking. “That means we can just sleep. Come drink.” He goaded. Xabi shook his head. “Suit yourselves. I am off.” He said, patting Xabi’s cheek as he walked back the other way.

*-*-*

By the time they made it back to their hotel room, it was well past dark and they were stuffed from dinner. They ran into David Villa and David Silva as they were walking around and had dinner with them. Steven was exhausted from walking around the entire day, not to mention running into so many people and talking to them.

“I am going to shower.” Xabi said as he set his camera down and emptied his pockets of his phone and wallet. Steven had face planted onto his bed as soon as they walked in the door. He rolled over and watched Xabi go.

“Alright.” He whispered. He shut his eyes. His body ached, and not from walking all day. He rolled back onto his stomach, trying to ignore the fact that Xabi was alone, naked in the shower right now. If he were more outgoing he would have asked to join him. If he were more sure of himself he wouldn’t even ask. That wasn’t him, though. He wasn’t sure of anything really, not when it came to guys that he liked or relationships in general.

The water turned off, the door opened almost immediately. Steven turned his head to see Xabi, holding a towel around his waist, his hair dripping wet rummaging through his suitcase. Steven was pretty sure that he whimpered, his erection pressing against the mattress.

“Did you want to shower?” Xabi asked. Steven shook his head, his lips pursed together as he watched Xabi stand. Xabi bit his lip, then walked over. “You sure?” He asked. Steven gulped, unmoving. He was so hard right now he was sure that if he rolled over....

Xabi sat down, his hand reached out and pushed against Steven’s arm, forcing him to roll over. Steven’s cheeks pinkened as he let Xabi roll him onto his back. Xabi’s eyes raked over Steven’s clothed body, stopping at the very apparent bulge. Steven sat up, his breathing shallow.

“Stevie, you-” Xabi said, his hand trailing from Steven’s arm down his chest, to cup his erection through the fabric of his jeans. Steven closed his eyes and bit his lip, his toes curling at the contact. “You could have said.” Xabi laughed lightly. He scooted closer, his lips tenderly kissing Steven’s neck, his tongue flicking against his skin as he made his way to Steven’s lips. His hand rubbed and pawed at him, his fingers outlining Steven’s dick as they kissed.

Steven’s breath hitched in his throat when Xabi moved, his legs straddling Steven, the towel hiked up Xabi’s thighs, all but forgotten as Xabi’s hands cupped Steven’s face, intensifying the kiss. Steven’s hands slowly made their way up Xabi’s thighs, back down and then back up again, wrapping around and grabbing his ass through the fabric of the towel. Xabi moved his hips, grinding down against Steven’s erection as he moaned, ending the kiss by trailing his tongue down Steven neck and shoulder. His hands slipped underneath Steven’s shirt, bringing the shirt over his head and tossing it to the floor. “What do you want, Stevie?” Xabi asked him, his hands resting on Steven’s chest. Steven’s mouth was dry as he looked at Xabi, his hands slipped beneath the towel, holding onto Xabi’s thighs, sliding over his ass then back down again. Xabi closed his eyes, moaning at the contact of skin to skin.

“I... I don’t-” Xabi kissed Steven again, a hand dropping down and removing his towel and revealing his own erection. Goosebumps appeared across Steven’s arms and neck, his eyelids heavy and pupils blown as a hand wrapped around Xabi’s erection, stroking him. Xabi bit his lip, throwing his head back as Steven jerked him off. He captured Steven’s lips with his again. This time when he pulled away, he raked his teeth across Steven’s bottom lip.

“Alright.” Xabi whispered as he scooted back, Steven’s hand falling away from his cock. Xabi got on his knees, his fingers deftly unzipping Steven’s jeans, revealing an achingly hard dick. Xabi licked his lips and looked up at Steven as his fingers wrapped around him, his mouth open and teasing as he hollowed it and traced up and down his shaft before taking him into his mouth. Steven shut his eyes, the feeling of Xabi’s mouth around his cock was overwhelming and electrifying. When he opened his eyes, Xabi was still looking at him, his cheeks hollowed as he sucked, his tongue twisting over his head. Steven’s fingers found Xabi’s hair, raking through it then tugging slightly. Xabi popped his mouth on Steven’s cock, catching his breath by jacking him off a few times. “Is this what you wanted?” He asked. Steven nodded, his body flushed. Xabi smiled up at him as he took him back into his mouth. He reached between his own legs, jacking himself off as he blew Steven.

“I, Xabi I am coming-” Steven gasped, his hands in Xabi’s hair he tried to push him off, but Xabi stayed. Steven came in waves, his head flinging back as he tugged at Xabi’s hair. Xabi swallowed him whole, continuing to jack him off after he came as he pulled his mouth back then sat up, still stroking his own cock. Steven leaned forward, capturing Xabi’s lips with his, his own hand replacing Xabi’s while the other wrapped around his waist, bringing them close together. Steven pressed his thumb against Xabi’s head as he jacked him off, fast. Xabi gasped into the kiss, his hips bucking forwards, his fingers digging into Steven’s arm where he held onto him.

“Fuck, Stevie.” He whispered as his head fell to Steven’s shoulder, panting. He was going to explode. Moaning and hissing he spilled himself onto their chests, as their bodies pressed together. Their mouths crashed together again in a messy kiss, hands roamed their bodies, grasping at their asses and trailing over their chests and backs. Neither wanted to end the kiss, wanted to stop what was happening. Eventually, they slowed. Only when Xabi’s mouth went from Steven’s lips down to his neck, then his shoulders did Steven catch his breath. His head was spinning and he felt dizzy, but in the best fucking way possible.

Xabi slipped off the bed, walking into the bathroom and wetting a washcloth to clean them up with. When he returned from disposing of it, he crawled into the bed next to Steven, his hands roaming over Steven’s body, his tongue darting across his chest and neck. It felt good to be close to someone, to hear Steven’s panting breaths, feel Steven’s body against his. Steven’s fingers intertwined with his, resting on Steven’s stomach. Xabi’s head was on Steven’s shoulder when Steven’s phone rang.

“Don’t answer.” Xabi said, his lips against Steven’s neck. Steven shifted, reaching for it on the nightstand.

“It might be my parents-” He said, stretching out, not wanting to lose body contact with Xabi. “It’s Carra.” He said before answering it. “Heya, Carra.” He said, his voice low and scratchy. Xabi smirked as he listened to Steven’s side of the conversation. “No, we’re just...” Steven looked down at Xabi. Xabi moved his hand lower, down Steven’s chest then his stomach. Steven bit his lip and closed his eyes as Xabi’s hands wrapped around him. “We’re not doing anything.” He managed to get out. Xabi’s eye brows shot up, his smirk widened mischievously. “The party? I don’t really want-” Steven held back a gasp as Xabi stroked him. Steven’s free hand was playing with the hair at the nape of Xabi’s neck, raking idly through his hair. Xabi turned his head to the side, taking Steven’s thumb into his mouth. Steven’s jaw dropped as he watched Xabi do it. “We might show up. I have to go.” He said, hanging up. Xabi laughed, releasing Steven’s thumb. “Jesus Christ, Xabi.” Steven panted. Xabi sat up, capturing Steven’s lips with his.

“What is going on? Do they want us down there?” He asked, his voice smooth and quiet. His hand was still working Steven back into a frenzy, hardening fast. Steven hissed, nodding his head. “Do you want to leave?”

“No.” Steven whispered, his hands grasping at Xabi’s arms and thigh. Xabi scooted closer, straddling Steven’s lap. He grabbed both of their cocks, and Steven’s hand and brought them together. Holding hands, they jacked each other off simultaneously. Xabi rocked and rolled his hips in time to their hands’ movements. Steven remained still, his head resting on Xabi’s shoulder and his mouth hanging open, his eyes closed. This time when they came, it was a complete mess, on the sheets and on their stomachs as they bucked and thrusted against each others’ hands. Xabi used the sheet to wipe them off, then he kissed Steven, his mouth open and inviting.

“Come on,” Xabi said, “Let’s get cleaned up and make an appearance.” He whispered against Steven’s ear before he rolled off the bed, heading for the bathroom to wash up. Steven gulped, nodding his head.

“Alright.” He said. Xabi grinned at him as he walked back into the room after washing his hands and stomach. He reached for his clothes, pulled them back on. Steven got off the bed to do the same.

*-*-*

The party was nothing short of insane. Wayne Rooney seemed to be the worst off, as per usual, and was currently leaning against one of the walls, face first. He was just standing there, with his eyes closed and a beer hanging limply in his hand. Steven wanted to poke him, but Cesc stopped him.

“He has been like that for twenty minutes. I want to know how long he can stay like that without someone like... making him move.” He said, grinning. Steven nodded as he looked around. Apparently it was also poker night. A makeshift game was being held on the floor by Pepe, David Villa, Daniel Agger and Martin Skrtel. There were empty beer cans everywhere. Martin Kelly was asleep, curled up in a chair in a corner of the room, cradling a beer can. Gareth Bale and John Terry were watching the poker game with way too much concentration, silently drinking their beers.

“Oh shit, look who it is.” Esteban said, coming over to them. He had two beers in his hand and he was most definitely not walking straight. Xabi looked at him blankly. “It’s about time you got laid, Xabiiiiiii.” He said, punching Xabi in the arm as a finger wagged between both Steven and Xabi. Xabi glared.

“Where’s Raul, surprised you aren’t spooning him right now.” Xabi jibbed. Steven’s back stiffened, suddenly on edge about how Esteban just knew, seemingly, what had happened. Esteban’s eyes narrowed at Xabi’s comment.

“I... uh... am going to find Jamie.” Steven said, leaving Xabi to look for his best friend. Xabi’s attention was still on Esteban.

“We don’t spoon.” Esteban said, making a face.

“What do you call falling asleep in a tub together. Sharing a bed?” Xabi said, crossing his arms. He didn’t like being called out for something that didn’t happen, not with Steven. Esteban laughed.

“We aren’t gay, Xabi.” Esteban slurred. Xabi laughed, raising an eyebrow. “Shut the fuck up.” Esteban murmured.

Steven found Jamie talking with, unfortunately, Sergio. Steven slipped up next to him, not wanting to talk to Sergio in the slightest.

“Lad, you came! How is your hermit life going?” Jamie asked, putting an arm around Steven. Steven shrugged, looking over towards Xabi for a second.

“Fine.” He muttered. He felt insecure now, that Esteban just blurted that out. No one seemed to have been paying attention but that didn’t mean anything, really. Steven could feel Sergio’s gaze on him and he didn’t like it.

“Your skin is really hot, mate. You alright?’ Jamie asked, his palm was on Steven’s neck. Steven flushed, nodding.

“Yeah, it is just really hot in here.” He said. Sergio’s gaze didn’t leave him. Raul was also standing with them, as was David Silva. Steven was uncomfortable. He wanted to stand by Xabi, but he didn’t. He wanted to tell Jamie what was going on, he wanted Sergio to stop looking at him. He bit his lip, not really taking part of the conversations going on around him.

Xabi wished Esteban wasn’t so loud when he was drunk. He looked over at Steven, who was being stalked by Sergio. Xabi kept his distance, for a while. But as the minutes went by Sergio got closer and closer to him. Xabi’s eyes narrowed. He walked up to the group of guys, slipping in between Steven and Raul, his eyes shooting daggers at Sergio as he did it. Steven seemed to become uneasy as soon as Xabi walked up, which worried Xabi slightly. He didn’t understand, but he wasn’t about to bring it up here, surrounded by everyone. Xabi didn’t like public displays of affection and he especially didn’t like them in close quarters with only friends around.

Steven wanted reassurance. His mind was reeling, not knowing how to act or what to do. His eyes kept going back and forth from Xabi and Jamie, opting to clasp his hands together behind his back.

“Lad, you alright?” Jamie asked again when the group broke up. They went out on the balcony while Xabi stayed inside with Pepe and Esteban. Steven sighed, shrugging.

“I don’t know, Carra.”

“Well something is up. You were fine when I saw you out and about-”

“It’s nothing. Just something Esteban said.”

“He’s drunk.” Jamie said, taking a sip of his beer. “You aren’t drinking?” Jamie asked, handing Steven his beer, which he had just opened before they walked out onto the balcony. Steven shook his head.

“No. Actually, I think I am going to go back to the room-”

“Why?” Jamie asked, almost in a whine... if Jamie Carragher whined that would be what it sounded like. It made Steven smile just a little. He wanted to tell Jamie what had happened, what Esteban said, how Xabi was off talking to other people, how he didn’t know what to do and how to act because he had never really had a boyfriend-

“I am tired.” Steven said, which was also the truth. Jamie sighed.

“Alright, lad. I will see you on the bus in the morning, yeah?” He said, patting Steven on the back as Steven walked back inside.

“Yeah.”

Steven made his way to the door, only to be cornered by Xabi, who was holding a beer. Xabi’s hand was on Steven’s shoulder, holding him against the wall. Steven almost moaned as his back made contact with the wall. Xabi smirked.

“Where are you going?” He asked, his voice dripping with confidence and a trace of lust. Steven looked from Xabi’s lips to the door.

“Back to our room.” Xabi’s hand dropped.

“Were you going to take me with you?” He asked. Steven pursed his lips together. He wasn’t sure, really, what he wanted. He needed time to think.

“I... yes.” Steven decided to say. Xabi grinned, then turned around and put his beer down. They left in a hurry, walking down the hallway towards the elevators.

“Sorry about Pirata.” Xabi said as they were waiting for an elevator to take them up to their room. They were standing a part, Xabi had his hands in his pockets. “I didn’t know he was going to... say something.”

“How would he-” Xabi laughed, interrupting Steven’s question. Steven looked back at Xabi, his lips were still swollen from blowing Steven. Steven decided he loved Xabi’s laugh. The laugh that came easy, that filled silence and unease. “Stupid question.”

“No, not stupid.” Xabi said, moving closer, a hand reaching out for Steven’s shirt, pulling him into the elevator as the door opened for them. “He just knows...” Xabi looked away, biting his bottom lip. His fingers were still grasping Steven’s shirt. “He just knows what I look like after, well.”

“I get it.” Steven said, trying to smile. He barely knew Xabi. He didn’t know his past, his relationships... anything. And Xabi didn’t know anything about his past either.

“Not that I have... with him. He is straight.”

“I know.”

“I feel like I had to say that.” Xabi’s hand dropped from Steven’s shirt. Steven didn’t say anything. “I like you a lot.” Xabi said. Steven couldn’t help but genuinely smile at him.

“I like you too.” Steven whispered. He felt like he had no air left in his lungs, like he was light headed and couldn’t catch his breath. Telling someone that he liked them was not something he had ever done, really. Next thing he knew, Xabi’s lips were back on his, Xabi’s fingers raked through his hair as they both had a sudden intake of air, intensifying the kiss. The door made the distinct dinging noise and Xabi was away from him again, his hands at his sides. Steven looked at Xabi’s lips, red and puffy and remembered how they looked stretched and open for him. His cock twitched in his pants. He had never been so fucking horny in his entire life.

When they entered the room, as soon as the door shut, Xabi’s hands were back on him, slipping underneath his shirt, grasping at his ass. Steven’s heart beat was in his throat, his eyes shut as he felt Xabi’s mouth on his neck.

“I think I need to shower.” Steven said, his hands on Xabi’s chest, pushing him back slightly.

“Want company?” Xabi asked, his fingers working open Steven’s jeans. Steven’s hand stilled Xabi’s wrists. Xabi’s eyes darted upwards, locking with Steven’s.

“I... no. Not really.” Steven said, taking a step back. Xabi didn’t say anything, his hands dropping to his sides.

“Alright.” He whispered, letting Steven go into the bathroom, alone. Steven shut the door, closing his eyes. He didn’t know what he was doing, why he just told Xabi no, how he stopped him from doing whatever it was he was about to do.

He didn’t know what he was doing with Xabi. He liked him, Xabi said so. Xabi just told him that he liked him and now he just pushed him away. What the fuck for? Steven turned on the shower and stripped off his clothes. He needed a cold shower. He needed to think.

*-*-*

Xabi slipped into Steven’s bed since his sheets were ruined from earlier. He buried his head against Steven’s pillow: it smelled like him. Xabi huffed. He didn’t understand what had just happened. He thought... he thought that Steven liked him. He had just said he had. Xabi shifted, when he heard the water turn off. He tried not to think about Mikel leaving him, about Sergio with him, about Sergio with Steven. The door opened. Xabi kept his eyes shut. His breath hitched in his throat as he felt the bed dip down, as he felt Steven’s hand slip around his waist. Steven pulled Xabi close to him, kissing his forehead, his cheek, his mouth. Xabi opened his mouth for Steven, moaning as it deepened.

“I’m sorry.” Steven murmured. Xabi wrapped his arms around Steven’s neck, breathing him in. Steven liked him. “I was just... I needed to think.” He said against Xabi’s neck.

“Don’t be sorry.” Xabi whispered, slowing the kiss. Eventually, they slept.


	10. Chapter 10

Xabi woke up to an empty, cool bed. He stretched and sat up, yawning. He looked around the room, the bathroom door was wide open and Steven’s suitcase was packed and by the door. But where was Steven? Xabi crawled out of the bed, walking into the bathroom to use it and brush his teeth. When he walked back into the room, he noticed that the balcony door was open. Grabbing a pair of jeans and a shirt from his bag, he slipped them on then walked outside. He found Steven sitting on the ground, his legs pulled up close to his chest as he looked out across the town. Xabi sat next to him, his arm brushing up against Steven’s.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” Xabi asked. Steven shrugged, his eyes searching for something out in the distance.

“It was early.”

“What time is it?” Xabi asked. He hadn’t even looked at his phone to see. Steven looked at his watch.

“We have an hour before the bus leaves.”

“I need to pack.” Xabi said, but didn’t move. Steven turned his head towards Xabi, his body leaning against Xabi’s. Xabi’s lips met Steven’s, softly at first until his hands moved up to cup Steven’s face. The kiss intensified as Xabi moved to his knees, pressing Steven’s back against the wall. Steven’s hands snaked up Xabi’s thighs, resting on his waist as they continued kissing, their tongues darting in and out of their mouths. Steven was the one that ended the kiss, his chest heaving and his pupils dilated.

“Do you want me to help you pack?” He asked. Xabi backed up, still on his knees with his hands resting on his own thighs. He didn’t understand what Steven was doing. He was running hot one second and then cold the next. Xabi hid his disappointment well, with a smile.

“Sure.” He said, standing, then holding a hand out for Steven who took it. Xabi hoisted Steven up off the ground and they packed Xabi’s things in an easy silence. They were the first two in the lobby to check out with Kenny.

“You boys go ahead on the bus, and stay there so I can keep my head count, you hear?” Kenny said. They both nodded their heads. As they got on the bus Xabi bit his lip, where did he want to sit?

“Where should we sit?” Steven asked.

“Who said I was going to sit with you?” Xabi teased. Steven turned his head towards Xabi, his eyes wide. “I was kidding, Stevie.” He whispered, a hand reaching out to grab at Steven’s belt loops, pulling Steven towards him. Steven moved where Xabi wanted him to, his back crashing into Xabi’s chest.

“I know.” Steven said, a hand reaching back and grabbing Xabi’s thigh and squeezing just a little. Xabi was almost positive that he saw doubt in Steven’s eyes when he had said that he wasn’t going to sit with him. Xabi wanted Steven to be comfortable, feel wanted and safe. Right now he didn’t really know how to get that point across.

“Let’s sit near the back.” Xabi suggested. Steven walked on, taking a seat on the back bench, that was three seats instead of two. “Good choice.” Xabi laughed, climbing over Steven to get to the window seat. As soon as he sat down, others started filtering onto the bus. Steven’s hand was on the seat, by Xabi’s leg. Xabi’s hand found Steven’s, his fingers interlocking with Steven’s lazily as he rested his head against the window. Xabi watched everyone file in, most immediately falling back asleep, curling up in their seats. There were only twenty of them, so most spread out and took up two seats. In front of them, John Terry put on his headphones and covered his head with a hoodie, seemingly falling asleep as soon as his head touched the window. Cesc and Iker shared a row, as did Martin Kelly and Daniel Agger.

Once everyone was boarded, Kenny stood up, getting everyone’s attention.

“Alright, lads, listen up. I’ve got a bit of a surprise for you. Instead of staying in a hotel in Marseille... we’ve rented a beach house. It is quite massive, actually. It has rooms with full size beds, queens, twins... I don’t care how you split it up but there should be room for all of you. Only rule is: don’t break anything or you will have to pay for it, yeah?” Kenny said, laughing. Steven and Xabi looked at each other, smiling silently.

One thing that Xabi didn’t think about was how fucking cold it was at the back of the bus, with the air conditioning blowing right down on him. He was wearing sweat pants, comfortable for travel, but just had on a t-shirt. Steven had to be freezing, he had on track bottoms and a pair of flip flops. Xabi looked at Steven’s legs, his eyes trailing up to his torso. He bit his lip, moving his eyes towards the window. They had a long bus ride ahead of them and he was already antsy, already about to be driven up the wall by being close to him. Restraint was key.

Steven was watching everyone else on the bus, the only people awake were Cesc and Iker and they were all the way at the front, along with Alvaro Arbeloa and Raul Albiol who were watching a movie with their headphones in a few rows up. He bit his lip, not looking at Xabi, and released his grip on Xabi’s hand. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Xabi’s head move, looking down at his hand. Steven’s heart was in his throat as his hand moved onto Xabi’s knee. Xabi, as a reaction, moved his leg towards Steven so that Steven’s palm was now on the inner side of his knee. Steven’s eyes lifted, watching Xabi as he glided his hand upwards, onto his thigh and then back down again. Xabi’s eyes shut, his hand stayed on the seat, holding onto it, his knuckles white. Steven’s lips parted as he watched Xabi’s chest rise and fall. He looked around again, the bus was sleeping, quiet. Steven’s hand slid higher, cupping Xabi for only a second before rubbing his thigh again. Xabi’s mouth opened in a silent moan, a hand grasped at Steven’s wrist, moving his hand back onto his growing bulge.

Steven scooted closer to Xabi, practically pressing him against the window as his fingers outlined Xabi’s erection through the fabric, cupping him and stroking. Xabi’s hand grabbed the back of Steven’s neck, bringing Steven even closer to Xabi, his lips pressed against Xabi’s neck. Steven placed his open mouth on Xabi’s neck, his tongue lapping and sucking at his skin as he pulled Xabi onto his lap. One of Xabi’s legs wrapped around Steven’s waist, their sides pressed against the back of the seats, Xabi’s back up against the window as Steven snapped the elastic band of Xabi’s briefs. Xabi moaned, then immediately covered his mouth with his free hand, his eyes wide. Steven stopped sucking and marking Xabi, looking into his eyes.

“If you don’t stay quiet I will have to stop.” He whispered, his voice raspy and low. Xabi nodded, biting his lip as he dropped his hand. Steven grinned, liking this sudden control that he felt, this sense of dominance and security in what he wanted to do. He liked Xabi pressed up in a corner, making him stay quiet, the fact that they were practically in plain sight to anyone on the bus. He captured Xabi’s lips with his, their mouths opened, taking in each other as they deepened the kiss. Steven’s hands slid underneath Xabi’s shirt, traveling up and down, around to his back and pushing Xabi’s hips down onto his lap. Xabi slowly began moving his hips, grinding against Steven as the kissing continued, their tongues darting in and out of their mouths, their heads moving in unison as their hands roamed over eachother’s bodies. It felt like ages before Steven took a breath, breaking their locked lips felt wrong as he left open mouthed kisses down Xabi’s neck as his hands cupped Xabi’s ass, forcing his hips down onto his erection, the friction making his cock weep for attention. Xabi groaned deep in his throat, unable to stop the noise from filtering out into the open. Steven’s hand found its way over Xabi’s mouth as the other slipped underneath the fabric of Xabi’s pants, finding his cock easily. Xabi didn’t move Steven’s hand, only watched Steven as he held him against the window as he stroked him, jacking him off. Xabi’s eyes rolled back as his chest heaved from trying to stay quiet. Eventually, Steven lessened the pressure he was applying to Xabi’s mouth. As a response, Xabi took two of Steven’s fingers into his mouth, sucking on them and twirling his tongue around them as Steven’s hand worked him into a frenzy.

Out of the corner of their eyes, the both saw Wayne Rooney stand up suddenly, and head to the back, where the bathroom was. Steven’s fingers left Xabi’s mouth in an instant, his hand retracted from Xabi’s pants and Steven pushed his body back onto his own seat. Xabi turned his body towards the window, looking out it as he put a finger up to his mouth as if he was biting his nail. Steven’s heart was beating so fast as Wayne went into the bathroom in a rush, the sound of him getting sick filled the bus. Steven looked at Xabi, his cheeks were flushed and his erection was outlined in his sweatpants, the bulge apparent. Steven looked down at his own, seeing exactly how this had affected him as well. When Wayne came back out Xabi looked at Steven, his pupils blown.

“I have to-” He started to say, his voice cracked. “I am taking care of this myself.” He said, climbing over Steven, his hand brushing against Steven’s erection. Steven groaned, his hand reaching out and stopping Xabi, bringing him down to straddle his lap.

“No, I can-”

“No.” Xabi said, “I just...” His neck had a mark on it, clearly apparent. “We need to slow down.” He managed to get out. Steven let go of Xabi, letting him go into the bathroom. As Steven sat there alone, he thought about Xabi jacking off in the bathroom, which only made him harder. But then he thought about what exactly he had just been doing in a bus full of his friends, of people would could easily see and hear them... his heart just about stopped. In the moment, he hadn’t cared what he had been doing but now... now he was ashamed. Embarrassed that he had been the one to initiate what had just happened. He could feel his cheeks reddening as the door opened. He moved his legs to the side so that Xabi didn’t have to climb over him, he kept his hands in his lap.

Xabi knew Steven would be quiet, would be closed off when he returned. He didn’t want to come in front of all those people, where he could be seen. He shouldn’t have let Steven continue on like he did, but part of him didn’t want to make him stop. Xabi sat down, his hand immediately grabbing Steven’s.

“Hey.” He said, getting Steven’s attention. Steven’s face was red, which made Xabi smile, but he wouldn’t look at him. Xabi bit his lip. “Stevie-”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Steven said. Xabi sighed, not letting go of Steven’s hand.

“Stevie, listen. I just... anyone could see.”

“I know, I am sorry.” He said quickly, pulling his hand from Xabi’s grasp. Xabi took it back again.

“Steven, look at me.” He demanded in a whisper. Steven did as Xabi asked, but his eyes darted from looking out the window to Xabi’s eyes and then back again. “Let’s just not get carried away, alright?” He said, giving him a small smile. “We have time for that later.” Steven smiled, biting his bottom lip then nodding.

“Alright.”

“Don’t feel bad about it.” Xabi added. Steven tried to pull his hand away again, but Xabi held on tight. “I am serious.”

When the bus stopped for lunch at a McDonald’s, Xabi was glad for the break. He was on edge, tension was building and he just really... really needed to be fucked. He wasn’t trying to kid himself about it. Steven was driving him insane and sitting next to him on the bus was turning out to be completely tiresome from a self restraint point of view. They had backed off of each other for all of ten minutes before their hands started roaming again, before Steven had to excuse himself to use the bathroom.... for ten minutes. Xabi was sitting at an empty table when Esteban sat next to him.

“I see how it fucking is now.” He said, feigning anger by slamming his tray down. Xabi rolled his eyes.

“What are you talking about?” He asked as he ate a fry. Esteban made a face.

“You dumped me for Gerrard. You didn’t even think ‘Oh, maybe Pirata would like to sit with me on the bus’.” Esteban did his best Xabi impersonation. Xabi felt bad for all of two seconds before Raul sat down across from them.

“Hypocrite.” Xabi said laughing.

“What?” Raul asked as he took one of Esteban’s fries. Esteban glared at him, then stole one of his. Xabi raised his eyebrows, looking at Esteban.

“What? We aren’t anything. You and Stevie are like fuck-”

“No, we aren’t.” Xabi snapped. “And keep your mouth shut. After last night-”

“I didn’t see you at all last night.” Esteban said, moving his head back and forth as he ate a chicken mcnugget.

“Fuck you, asshole. Yes you did, saying that Steven and I...” Xabi stopped himself. ‘’Which wasn’t true.”

“Oh.” Esteban said, mid-chew. “I get it... that was shitty.” He said, finishing his nugget then cramming fries into his mouth.

“Wait, Stevie is gay?” Raul asked, totally confused. Xabi made a face, the other day he said he never saw Steven with a girl or a guy... did he really not put two and two together?

“Dude, you are oblivious to everything you know that?” Esteban said, throwing a fry at Raul. Xabi frowned.

“I... didn’t know that Steven didn’t tell people.” Xabi said, looking around for Steven who was sitting with Jamie and a few others. Xabi bit his lip. Raul shrugged.

“Stevie doesn’t really talk about himself.” He said as he ate. “It’s no biggie or anything.” He added, making sure Xabi knew that he didn’t care which side of the fence Steven was on. Xabi smiled lightly, but remained silent for the rest of the meal.

By the time they reached Marseille, it was nearing dusk. Xabi was tired, but not exhausted. He and Steven slept on the second leg of the trip. When they woke up Steven’s hand was in his and Steven’s head was resting on his shoulder. They were the last to get off the bus and grab their bags. The house was huge, and most of the rooms were full already. Right as they saw an empty room with a double bed in it, Sergio walked in front of them, grinning, and dropped his bag in the door. Xabi glared at him.

“I call this room.” He said, staring Xabi down. His gaze then moved to Steven; he smiled. “Care to share?” He said, his eyes clearly looking Steven up and down like a piece of meat. Xabi clenched his jaw.

“Fuck no.” Steven said, curtly. He took Xabi’s hand, they would find another room. The only problem was, there seemed to be only one bed left: a twin in a room with Gareth Bale and John Terry. “Sergio should have taken this bed.” Steven muttered as they stared at it. Xabi looked at Steven, then down at their hands. He pulled his hand from Steven’s, looking around.

“You take it.” He said. Steven turned to him, shaking his head.

“What? No, we should make Sergio-”

“He won’t give that room up. He did it on purpose. Just take that bed.” Xabi said, taking Steven’s bag and putting it on the bed.

“Where will you sleep?”

“There are couches.” Xabi said, sighing. “Don’t worry about it.” He added in. Just then, Jamie walked up.

“There you two are, come on, we are making a bonfire.” He said, smiling. “There is beer.” Steven and Xabi exchanged a look then followed Jamie out onto the beach. Their house was right on the beach. The house was huge with a hot tub, three stories, a widow’s watch... it was beautiful. Esteban handed Xabi a beer as he walked up. The bonfire was big, warm, and felt good as the cool summer night engulfed them. There was talk of beaching it all day tomorrow, spending the day in the sun. Xabi could just feel the suns rays on him now, thinking about it. Then he thought about Steven laying next to him, on a towel... in his swim trunks. Xabi took a long drink of his beer, his eyes searching the crowd for Steven, who was with Gareth. Steven was laughing, the firelight dancing across his body. Xabi took another drink, and walked over. He stood next to Steven, but not too close. Apparently Wayne Rooney was about to shotgun a beer. Xabi rolled his eyes. If anyone should not shotgun a beer, it was Wayne. Flashbacks to earlier and him running into the bathroom played over and over in Xabi’s mind as he watched him do it. Out of the corner of his eye, Xabi watched as Daniel and Martin snuck back to the house. Xabi smiled, biting his lip.

He wanted that, what they had. He wanted the ease of a relationship again. Daniel and Martin didn’t really do public displays of affection. They didn’t need to in order to know that they liked each other. They saved their touches for the times that they were alone. Xabi couldn’t seem to keep his hands off of Steven. Just standing next to him was proving to be difficult, since he was already closer to Steven than he had been when he first walked up.

Steven was on his fourth beer, not that he was counting. Whenever he ran out someone handed him another. For a short period of time he had two in his hand because John Terry handed him a new one before he even finished his first. Soon after he was handed a third as Wayne Rooney challenged Pepe to wrestle him.

“This is not going to end well.” Steven heard Xabi say next to him. He wasn’t standing near him, really. Steven wished he was, though. He wished he had said it into his ear. But he didn’t. He looked over at Xabi, who was closer to to Esteban and Raul than he was to Steven. Steven then looked towards Jamie who was rooting for Pepe to take Wayne down.

“This is only going to lead to more wrestling.” Raul pointed out. “I am not doing it.”

“You would wrestle me.” Esteban said. “We are the same weight.” Raul made a face.

“We are not.”

“Whatever.... want to?” He asked. Raul laughed, then tackled Esteban to the ground. Xabi stepped back, towards Steven.

“Someone is going to end up with a black eye.” He whispered, the neck of his beer near his lips. Steven watched as Xabi took a long sip. He shut his eyes.

“Not if they do it right.” Steven replied, not really watching Esteban and Raul’s grappling session. Pepe won against Wayne, leaving him laying on the ground. He walked up to Xabi, standing between them.

“Did you see that? Rooney needs to realize he isn’t that tough.” He said, laughing. He slung his arms over both Xabi and Steven’s shoulders. Xabi rolled his shoulder, dropping Pepe’s arm. “Come on Xabi, I was just leaning on you.” He chided.

“I don’t like it.” He said, taking another sip. Pepe turned towards Steven.

“So you know what? If I were sober right now I would swear that you two were together. Are you? I mean, technically there are four of you right now so... I could be just-”

“Pepe, shut up.” Xabi said, his voice low. He looked at Steven who turned his head another way.

“What did I say? Oh, you aren’t then? I am sorry, mate.” Pepe said, dropping his arm from Steven and putting it back around Xabi. Xabi huffed.

“Nothing to be sorry about Pepe.” Xabi said, looking at his beer. He wished his friends weren’t so open to talking about his business. But in Spain he didn’t have an issue about it, really. Just with Steven. Steven didn’t seem to want to be... out in the open. Xabi may not like PDA, but he wasn’t in the closet either. He was just... who he was. Steven seemed to be closed off. If Raul didn’t know...

Pepe smiled at him, dropped his arm, then walked over to David Villa and David Silva. Xabi turned towards Steven.

“He’s just drunk.” Xabi said. Steven nodded.

“I know.”

“They just are looking out for me.” Xabi felt the need to justify why his friends wanted him to hook up. Steven was running hot and cold and he didn’t really know what he wanted. “Listen, Stevie-”

“I am tired.” Steven said, looking Xabi in the eye, licking his lips. “Walk back with me?” He asked. Xabi bit his lip and nodded. They walked up to the house, which was empty besides Daniel and Martin, and Gareth who had crashed early. Gareth who was sharing Steven’s room. They stopped at the door, which was closed, and stood for a moment in the dark.

“I don’t think Gareth would appreciate it if we... in the room with him.” Steven said, his back against the door and his hand on the doorknob. Xabi laughed.

“I think you are right.” He said, his hands on Steven’s chest, grasping at his shirt as he leaned in for a kiss. “You look pretty beat yourself.” Xabi whispered against Steven’s lips. Steven’s hand left the doorknob, cupping Xabi’s face with his hands, rushing the kiss. Short, desperate, loud kisses filled the hallway as they stood there, chests pressed together. Xabi’s hands traveled down to Steven’s ass, grabbing it through the fabric as their tongues danced and fought in their mouths. Xabi pulled Steven closer, making Steven moan into Xabi’s mouth at the forcefulness.

Xabi broke the kiss, breathing deeply as Steven moved to his neck, his tongue leaving a trail as he sucked and nipped at his skin. Xabi hissed as his hands tugged at the elastic band of Steven’s shorts, pulling them from his body, then snapping them back. Steven stopped.

“I think,” Xabi said, between breaths, “that we should-”

“Stop?” Steven asked. Xabi bit his lip, closing his eyes. “I... I think so too.” He admitted. “We don’t have anywhere to go.” Xabi laughed.

“True.” Technically, they had empty rooms throughout the entire house but who knew when they would be returning... “I guess this is goodnight.” He whispered, his lips pressing against Steven’s in a chaste kiss. Steven deepened it, his tongue slowly working its way back into Xabi’s mouth. Xabi let his mouth open wide, turning his head as Steven kissed him again and again. Minutes passed again before they broke apart. “For real, now.” Xabi said, smiling. Steven’s head rested against Xabi’s shoulder, his lips against his skin.

“Crawl into bed with me.” He whispered. Xabi shook his head.

“We can’t fit in a twin.” He said. They could, but then in the morning...everyone would know and Xabi knew that Steven didn’t want that, not really. Steven sighed, stepping back from Xabi.

“Night.” He said. Xabi smiled at him, kissing him again.

“Good night.” He said, watching Steven open his door, then close it. Xabi shut his eyes and sighed, then he ran his fingers through his hair and down his face. He looked towards the couch and glared at it. He changed his clothes then laid down on it: it was comfortable. He practically sank into its huge cushions. Sighing again, he closed his eyes. Steven wanted him to get in bed with him, he should have done it. He wanted to, really. He wanted to crawl into the bed with him and wrap his legs around him... Xabi sat up, thinking about knocking on Steven’s door. He didn’t get up though, he shifted on the couch, turning to face the other way instead. Frustration wasn’t   
really the word, neither was disappointment. He wanted Steven, and he knew that Steven wanted him. He just wished that Steven didn’t seem to go back and forth about how he acted, he wanted consistency. He wasn’t sure he was going to get it, though. He covered his eyes with his hand and bit his lip. He was in for a long night.


	11. Chapter 11

Xabi woke up by a text message. As he turned his body, reaching for it, he realized that he slept on his back wrong, he was in pain.

“God, fucking.” He hissed as he looked at his phone, wiping the sleep from his eyes and blinking repeatedly. The text was from Steven: ‘you awake?’ Xabi smiled. He replied with: ‘am now.’ then put his phone on his chest as he shut his eyes, his hand falling to his side. Laying flat on his back was better, really. He looked at the floor, narrowing his eyes. His father always told him if he had back problems that he should lay with his back on the ground and his knees bent, feet on the floor. Xabi moved onto the floor and did just that. He sighed slowly, his face scrunching up in pain. It wasn’t too bad really, just sore. Probably mixed with sleeping weird on the bus and the couch, somehow his back decided now would be a good time to hate him. Steven texted back: ‘taking a shower, beach afterwards?’ he asked. Xabi responded back immediately with ‘yes’. He got up, hissing, and grabbed his toiletries bag and his swim trunks, going to an empty bathroom.

Setting his phone and his bag down on the counter, he looked at the bathroom. It was rather large, with a garden tub.

“Oh, I want that.” He said to no one but himself. He turned the bath on, checking the water and then leaving it. He used the toilet, then brushed his teeth and shaved. By the time he was done the tub was full. Stepping into the giant tub was heavenly. He sunk down, sighing. His back loved him in that moment. He remembered seeing a hot tub when they walked in last night, he thought about wrapping his legs around Steven in it, kissing him. Xabi hummed as his hand found his erection under the water. He gave it a few quick strokes, his thoughts shifting to Steven stretching him, fucking him. Xabi’s eyes popped open. His chest was rising and falling rapidly, Jesus Christ. Shifting in the giant tub, Xabi got on his knees. He needed this, he needed to be touched. He hadn’t been with anyone since... well... Xabi cursed under his breath, thinking about Mikel now.

Xabi rubbed two fingers over his hole, teasing himself, then adding pressure. With one, he entered himself slowly, the burn making him hiss and bite his lip. Moving in and out, he eased into a rhythm. He was wet but still, water was not lube. It burned, but he wanted it. His cock bounced in the water as he pressed another finger against the tightness. His fingers were engulfed, moving slowly. Xabi scooted forward, so that he could rest his head on the edge of the tub so that he could wrap his other hand around his cock, jacking himself off. His head on the tub was his support, he was almost positive that if he wasn’t leaning on something he would fall into the water face first. Xabi snapped out of it when his phone buzzed, another text message arrived. Xabi didn’t want to stop, really, but he knew it was Steven. Xabi released his grip on himself and got out of the water, his back pain all but forgotten because of the good sting he felt in his ass. ‘Out of the shower, Gareth and JT are gone, get in here.’ Xabi bit his lip. He didn’t even dry off, just slipped on his swim trunks and left the bathroom for Steven’s room. He knocked once, the door immediately opened to reveal a very naked Steven, his hands reaching out and pulling Xabi into the room.

Steven shut the door and slammed Xabi against it, his hands were on Xabi’s chest, his stomach, his arms, in his hair as their mouths crashed together. Steven’s tongue darted in and out of Xabi’s mouth in a rush, their kisses desperate and wanting. Xabi’s hands were on Steven’s bare ass, pulling Steven towards his body. Steven felt Xabi’s already hard cock against his stomach. Inhibitions were pushed to the back of his mind as his mouth moved from Xabi’s lips, down his neck, then made its way slowly down his chest, leaving open mouthed kisses as he went down to his knees in front of him. He spent the night thinking about Xabi, about him pressed against the window of the bus, about how he moaned when Steven covered his mouth.

Steven’s tongue left a trail down Xabi’s stomach as Xabi’s fingers ran tenderly through Steven’s hair as he watched Steven kiss him. Steven’s hands ran up and down Xabi’s thighs as his tongue lapped at his navel and sucked at the skin just above Xabi’s swim trunks. Xabi moaned, tilting his head back. Steven pulled Xabi’s shorts down, revealing an achingly hard cock. Steven looked up at Xabi, mouth open and tongue out. His own cock was hard as it hung between his legs, ignored for the moment as Steven’s mouth wrapped around Xabi’s erection. Steven’s hands stayed on Xabi’s thighs, working Xabi with only his mouth as his head bobbed up and down. Xabi’s hands rubbed up and down Steven’s arms as he watched, mouth hanging open as Steven sucked him off.

Xabi grabbed onto one of Steven’s wrists, moving his hand. Steven looked up at him, his mouth around Xabi’s cock as Xabi moved Steven’s hand to his ass. Steven’s other hand went to Xabi’s cock, stroking it as his mouth popped off Xabi’s head.

“You want me to-?” Steven asked, a finger gliding over Xabi’s pink hole. Xabi nodded, fingers running through Steven’s hair.

“I need you to.” He said. Steven’s cheeks flushed as his tongue played with Xabi’s tip, then running up and down his shaft. Steven brought a finger to his mouth, wetting it, then pressed it against Xabi’s entrance. Xabi moaned, closing his eyes as his hand spread his cheek to the side for easier access. Steven’s finger entered him, darting in and out as his mouth engulfed his erection. Xabi panted, his toes curling as Steven established a rhythm. Once he did, Steven dropped his free hand from Xabi’s cock to wrap around his own in time with his other hand. Xabi’s hand pressed against the back of Steven’s head, taking over the rhythm of the blow job that Steven was giving him. Steven let him, his hands concentrating on Xabi’s ass and his own cock as Xabi rolled his hips, thrusting into his mouth. Steven added another finger, fucking Xabi with his fingers as he stroked himself.

Xabi’s cock hit the back of Steven’s throat, stilling for only a second, making him choke slightly. He pulled back, his eyes on Xabi’s as he caught his breath. Without a word, he opened his mouth again and waited for Xabi to stick his cock back in his mouth. Instead, Xabi stuck two fingers in Steven’s mouth.

“Suck.” He whispered. Steven did as he asked, sucking on them as if it was Xabi’s cock. Xabi then pulled his fingers away, replacing them with his erection. Steven lapped at it with his tongue, swirling it before he took it back into his mouth. Xabi reached behind himself, adding a finger along with Steven’s two. Steven moaned, the sound muffled by Xabi’s cock in his mouth, as Xabi moved his finger with his. Steven quickened the pace of his strokes, knowing that he was on the verge of coming himself. He pulled his mouth back, hissing as he worked himself faster. Xabi took hold of his own cock, pumping it ferociously. Steven extracted his fingers from Xabi. As he did so, Xabi came onto Steven’s chest and face. When he was done, Xabi continued stroking himself, he grabbed Steven’s arm, getting him to stand up.

Xabi kissed him, tasting himself on Steven’s lips as Steven pressed their erections together, wrapping his hand around the both of them. Xabi hissed at the contact, his cock over-sensitized after coming. Steven deepened the kiss, pressing Xabi against the door. Xabi gasped as Steven ran his thumb over Xabi’s head, making Xabi shudder. Steven came in waves, making a mess all over their chests, their lips still locked in a kiss.

They took a minute to catch their breath, Stevie leaning on Xabi and Xabi against the door. They both jumped when there was a knock at the door. Xabi was still pressed forcefully against it, his eyes wide, his arm was wrapped around Steven’s shoulders.

“Lad, you up? We’re all down at the beach. Get your ass out of bed and come on.” It was Jamie.

“I’m up, be down in a few.” Steven said, his eyes still on Xabi’s. Xabi bit his lip, a finger trailing over Steven’s chest, cleaning up some of the mess that they made.

“Is Xabi with you? I can’t find him.” Jamie added. Steven and Xabi looked at each other, not saying a word. Xabi kissed Steven on the lips, then Steven looked at the mark on Xabi’s neck he had made the day before on the bus.

“Yeah, he is.” Steven answered, his cheeks reddening. Xabi kissed him again, his tongue interlocking with Steven’s. Jamie chuckled.

“Alright, you two.” He said through the door. They heard footsteps walking away from them. When they broke apart, Xabi went into the bathroom and got a washcloth to clean them. Steven followed.

“That was... different.” Xabi said, smirking. Steven’s cheeks remained pink as he bit his lip. Xabi walked up, wiping Steven down with the washcloth. Xabi kissed him on the lips.

“I just really wanted to do that.” Steven said, laughing lightly. Xabi smiled.

“I am glad you did.” He said, cleaning himself off after Steven. “I am starving, though.” He added, grabbing his swimming trunks and pulling them back on. Steven slipped his on as well.

“Do they even have food in here?” He asked as they opened the door to the bedroom. They made their way into the kitchen were Esteban and Raul were making sandwiches.

“Oh hey.” Esteban said as he smeared peanut butter on a slice of bread. “You two hungry?” He asked, holding up his knife. Xabi nodded.

“Yeah, definitely.”

*-*-*

By the time they made it outside, almost everyone was up. Pepe, Iker, and Cesc were playing frisbee and a lot of the guys were in the water. Xabi and Steven put their towels next to each other, near Esteban and Raul’s. Steven watched Xabi apply sunscreen to his arms, his chest, and his legs. Xabi offered some to Steven. Steven put his palm out, letting Xabi squeeze an ample amount onto it for him.

“Want me to get your back?” Steven asked. Xabi smirked, nodding his head.

“Of course.” He laughed. Steven did it fast, his heart beat in his throat as he looked around. Esteban and Raul were right there, along with Alvaro and Raul Albiol. If Xabi was disappointed, he didn’t show it. “Want me to do yours?” He asked. Steven nodded, turning around. Steven almost moaned as Xabi spread it over him, his fingers massaging it in. Steven wished they were back in the house again.

After sunscreen was applied, Xabi laid down, happy to rest his back which was still bothering him. Steven laid down on his stomach, using his arms as a pillow. His mind was going a million miles per hour, replaying what had just happened over and over again. He initiated it, he blew Xabi without a word. Why did he feel guilty? Why did he feel like he shouldn’t have done it? He wanted to curl up in a ball. He liked it, a lot. He felt like he was tearing in two, his thoughts pulling him in different directions. He hadn’t expected to feel this way, really. Whenever they were alone it was as if his mind turned off, like he didn’t think about what he was doing. He looked over at Xabi whose eyes were closed. He looked at the mark on his neck. Steven bit his lip: he did that to him.

Xabi seemed fine with everything, didn’t seem to have any sort of inner turmoil that Steven felt. He liked Xabi, why did he feel so insecure? Xabi liked him, he said so. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other. He remembered the feeling he had as he texted Xabi that Gareth and John were out of the room, a swelling in his chest as he hit send, dropping his towel in the bathroom. His mind flashed again to Xabi pressed against the window, his mouth covered. He liked feeling like he did when he took control, but he also liked how Xabi grabbed onto his head, fucking his mouth. Steven huffed. He needed to stop thinking about this or he was going to get hard. He bit his lip, too late.

“Xabi.” Steven said. Xabi opened his eyes, shielding them from the sun with his hand he looked over at Steven. “Want to go in the water?” He asked. Xabi sat up, looking out towards the ocean.

“Yeah, sure.” He said. They walked down together, stopping to talk to David Villa who was burying a sleeping Wayne Rooney in the sand with Gareth and David Silva. “Was that his idea or yours?” Xabi asked.

“Well, he was still passed out from last night so we just carried him down here.” David Villa said, laughing. “Don’t worry, we put sun block on his face he will be fine.” He added in, as if that was the sole concern in the situation. Xabi nodded.

“Ah, I see. Good thinking.” He said, laughing. Steven just watched them pat down the sand, glad he was a light sleeper and that it wasn’t him they were burying.

Once they were out in the water, Steven was grateful. Xabi disappeared under the water for a minute, then popped up, shaking his head, sending water flying.

“This feels amazing.” He said, smiling and swimming closer to Steven. They were bobbing up and down in the water past the big waves, just treading water with the sand only a few inches off their feet. With each wave that passed them, they went up and then back down again.

“It does.” Steven said, watching Xabi. He wanted to kiss him, taste the salt water on his lips, but he refrained. Pepe swam up to them splashing Xabi. Xabi retaliated immediately.

“I challenge you to a duel.” Pepe said, smirking. Xabi rolled his eyes.

“What sort of duel?” He asked.

“Chicken.” He said. “Choose your partner.”

“Who is yours?” Xabi asked, looking at Steven. Pepe smirked.

“Stevie is.” Xabi glared at him. Steven’s jaw was hanging open.

“I didn’t say I was going to play.” Steven said. Xabi was still looking at Pepe.

“You hear that, Pepe? Your partner is backing down. Do you forfeit?” Xabi asked. Pepe shook his head.

“He doesn’t forfeit. Find someone to hoist you.” Pepe said smirking. Xabi took one look at Steven, then winked as he paddled back to shore, finding Jamie. When they got to waist height, Xabi got on Jamie’s shoulders and Steven got on Pepe’s. Xabi smirked at Steven, his arms at the ready as they got ready to attack each other. Steven laughed as they collided, trying to knock each other down. Xabi got the best of Steven when his fingers slid across his stomach, then he tickled him. It took Steven off guard as he fell into the water. Xabi fist pumped the air, screaming in victory as he slid off of Jamie’s shoulders back into the ocean.

By the end of the afternoon, everyone was exhausted from being in the sun all day. Xabi took a nap on his towel after putting it under an umbrella. Steven made a sand castle with Alvaro and Raul Albiol, which they then promptly destroyed.

“Tomorrow we should make a massive one.” Alvaro stated. “I am talking like, the ones that you spend all day on.” Raul nodded. Steven bit his lip.

“Yeah, I mean, if we are spending the day on the beach again I could help.” He said, smiling. He didn’t know if Xabi would want to go into town and sight see at all, go to shops... wherever. If he did, Steven wanted to go with him.

Steven ended up going inside with Gareth, Iker and Cesc to start cooking dinner for everyone. They decided it would be fun, since the house was full of food when they arrived.

“I think we should make lasagna.” Iker suggested.

“I think we should make sandwiches.” Cesc said. Everyone stared at him.

“Cesc, that isn’t cooking.” Iker told him. Cesc shrugged.

“I know that, but there are a lot of us, sandwiches would be fast.” He said, pouting.

“Why not do burgers and hot dogs?” Gareth suggested.

“I like that idea.” Steven said. “We can make a salad or something to go with it. There are tons of vegetables in the fridge.” He said, opening it. “And there is relish and tons of condiments for hot dogs....” He trailed off.

“Alright, lets do it.” Gareth said, smiling.

On the porch of the house was the grill, along with the hot tub. Gareth and Iker took care of the grill, watching everything cook with a beer in their hands. Cesc and Steven set out chips and salsa for everyone while they were in the kitchen chopping up lettuce, carrots, and cucumbers, along with other things that would sound good in the salad. Steven kept finding things that he wanted to add to it. Xabi walked in with Pepe and David Villa, covered in sand.

“What happened?” Steven asked him. Xabi walked by him, bumping him slightly as he passed.

“Apparently I was asleep for too long, they wanted to bury me in the sand next to Wayne. I punched Pepe in the ribs and they dropped me.” He said, laughing. “I am showering.” He said, his hand brushing across the small of Steven’s back, unnoticeable to Cesc. Steven bit his lip as he cut up some celery into tiny pieces to add to the salad. That Cesc noticed. He cleared his throat. Steven looked up at him expectantly as the bathroom door shut.

“So are you two....?” Cesc asked. Steven didn’t answer at first, but he stopped chopping.

“Are you and Iker?” Steven asked. Cesc bit his lip, then shrugged.

“We don’t talk about it.”

“We haven’t either.” Steven said, realizing it was true. Yes, they said that they liked each other, yes there has been blow jobs and hand jobs and lots of kissing but.... no discussion.

“How long?” Steven asked. He liked Cesc, he was quiet unless he was hyper. Then you couldn’t seem to shut him up. It dawned on Steven that maybe Cesc knew something more about Xabi, about what he was like in Spain.

“We, um... a while.” Cesc said, sighing. “Iker decided to stay just friends.” Cesc whispered.

“With benefits?” Steven asked. That was all he had ever had, he always felt used. He didn’t want that to happen this time. Cesc nodded. “I know what that’s like.” He told him.

“Is that what you and Xabi are?” Cesc asked. Steven shrugged, opening his mouth to respond when everyone else filtered in. He and Cesc exchanged a knowing glance.

“Holy shit there are chips and salsa out here!” Esteban said as he dipped a chip and then ate it, then grabbed another. Raul got a few beers out of the fridge, offering them first to Steven and Cesc. Cesc took one, Steven didn’t. He wasn’t really in the mood to drink. When he drank he tended to lose his inhibitions. For the moment, he wanted to keep them. Sergio came into the kitchen, grabbing a beer and leaning against the counter, near Cesc.

“Cesc, do you remember last year when we went to Ibiza?” Sergio asked. Steven remained silent, waiting for Sergio to hit on him, like every other time they were in a room together. Cesc nodded, smiling.

“Yeah, when you hooked up with that kid at the club.” He said. “The night we all did-”

“Yeah that kid, I just saw him on the beach.” Sergio said, beaming.

“No way.”

“I am not kidding.” Sergio looked at Steven, his smile not faltering. “Oh, Stevie. Sorry about yesterday. Did you and Xabi want to take my room? I can move my stuff to the twin bed if you want.” Steven’s jaw dropped. He nodded.

“Sure if you want.”

“It was a real dick move for me to take that room for myself.” He said, sighing. “Tell the guys I will be out with Fernando. Oh, that was his name, apparently. He told me today.” He said, laughing. “Fuck man, that night in Ibiza...” He said as he walked down the hall, grabbing his bag out of the room that he confiscated the day before. Cesc beamed at Stevie.

“That was cool of him, to give you and Xabi that room. Iker and I have one of the doubles upstairs.” Cesc said, humming as he cut a carrot. Steven bit his lip. Now that they were going to be in the same room again, his mind snapped back to reality: they weren’t anything really. Just two horny teenagers. He didn’t want to be friends with benefits. He wanted... something. Steven frowned when he remembered that Xabi would not be coming back to Liverpool with him after this, that he would be going back to Spain. Steven’s gut sank. Cesc took the salad outside with the other food while Steven remained in the kitchen, cleaning up by washing their dishes that they used to prepare everything.

He jumped when he felt a hand at the small of his back, lips against his neck. They remained only for a second, enough to place a chaste kiss there.

“You smell like the sun.” Xabi whispered as his hand dropped and he leaned against the counter next to Steven. Steven smiled at him.

“You smell like soap.” He said, sticking his tongue out a little. Xabi laughed. His hair was wet and he was wearing shorts and a clean t-shirt. “Are you not going in the hot tub?” He asked. Xabi bit his lip, trying to hide a smirk.

“Did you want to go in the hot tub?” Xabi asked as Esteban came in.

“Do you think we have enough beer?” He asked to no one in particular as he opened the fridge, grabbing a few. Xabi’s eyes didn’t leave Steven’s.

“There should be plenty, Pirata.” Xabi said. Steven didn’t break eye contact with Xabi.

“Not when other people are in it.” Steven answered. Xabi chuckled. Steven loved when he did that, the way his mouth turned upwards and his eyes almost shut and he leaned forward slightly.

“Or when they are awake?” He asked. Steven cleared his throat.

“Right.”

“Maybe later.” Xabi said as he turned to walk outside, grabbing a beer before he did. Steven shut his eyes as he turned the water off, drying his hands on a towel. He still had to tell him that they now had Sergio’s room.

The barbeque thinned out eventually, with a couple of the guys heading out to a bar down the road, while others made another bonfire on the beach. Raul Meireles, Esteban, Raul Albiol, and Alvaro were determined to start their giant sand castle by the light of the bonfire and Wayne Rooney finally woke up, screaming that he had to take a piss and for them to get him out. Steven and Xabi bided their time until everyone was seemingly gone, dispersed through out the house. Steven told Xabi about their room. Xabi wasn’t happy at first, thinking Sergio tricked them but Steven showed Xabi how Sergio’s things were already out of the room. They changed into their swimming trunks and headed for the hot tub.

When they got in, Xabi’s hands were on Steven as he straddled him, sitting in his lap. Xabi’s mouth was on Steven’s skin, his tongue lapping and nipping at his neck. Steven moaned as his hands roamed towards Xabi’s ass. Xabi hissed as Steven’s fingers pressed against him through the fabric of his trunks, Xabi’s mouth was open against Steven’s skin as he sucked at the nook between Steven’s shoulder and neck. Xabi’s hands traveled down, slipping underneath Steven’s shorts, stroking him.

“I have been thinking about this all day.” Xabi whispered into his ear. Steven applied pressure to Xabi’s ass, bringing him down onto his lap so that their erections pressed together. Xabi moaned. Their lips crashed together as both of their hips moved, wanting more contact. Xabi broke the kiss when he heard someone talking in the kitchen. Within moments, he was off of Steven. Their chests heaving and their eyes wide they watched as John Terry and Andy Carroll walked out with their arms wrapped around two girls.

“Oh hey guys, we didn’t know anyone would be using the tub.” John said, disappointment apparent in his voice. Xabi looked at Steven.

“Oh, we were just heading to bed anyways John.” Xabi said, getting up quickly and grabbing his towel, hiding evidence of his erection. Steven joined him.

“Night guys, have fun.” Steven said as they walked inside. Once they were in their room, Xabi sighed.

“I feel like I need another shower.” He whined a little. Steven laughed, his hand on Xabi’s stomach, pulling Xabi towards him. Xabi’s back was against Steven’s chest as Steven’s mouth trailed up and down Xabi’s neck, his hand slipping lower and lower down Xabi’s stomach until he slid underneath Xabi’s dripping wet shorts. Xabi’s hands were on Steven’s thighs, his eyes closed. Steven’s other hand snaked around to Xabi’s chest, holding him up against him, then slid up until his fingers found Xabi’s mouth. Xabi’s mouth took them in readily, sucking on them as he pressed back against Steven. A knock at the door interrupted them.

“Fuck.” Steven hissed as his lips left Xabi’s neck, his hands retreating. Xabi moaned at the sudden lack of contact, on being stopped twice in such a short period of time. Steven opened the door to find Sergio there. “Yes?” He asked. Sergio’s eyebrow raised as he looked between them.

“I left my shaving bag in the bathroom.” He said. Xabi glared at him. “On accident.” Sergio added as his eyes raked over Xabi’s body. Sergio bit his lip as he walked in. Xabi felt a little self conscious for a moment, but it passed when he saw Steven’s eyes on him as well, the warmth he felt throughout his body surpassed the feeling that Sergio had just given him.

When Sergio walked out the door, closing it behind him, Steven sighed.

“What a fucking boner killer.” He said. Xabi laughed, covering his mouth with his hand, nodding his head.

“I was just thinking the same thing.”

“I am exhausted.” Steven said, speaking the truth. He felt like he could collapse onto his bed and never wake up. Xabi’s hands were back on him, pulling him in for another kiss.

“Let’s get ready for bed then.” He suggested.

After they both changed and dried off, they crawled into bed, their bodies pressed together and their legs intertwined they locked lips. They kissed lazily, their heads moving and their tongues caressing each other’s mouths with no hurry at all. Xabi’s fingers ran through Steven’s hair then held onto the nape of his neck as his legs tightened around Steven’s. Steven broke the kiss to nuzzle his nose against Xabi’s shoulder, breathing him in as his arms came up under Xabi’s arms and rested on his shoulders, pulling him closer. Xabi fell asleep listening to Steven’s breathing, feeling it on his skin. Steven took longer to fall asleep, his mind couldn’t seem to shut off. But as time went by his eyelids became heavy, the rise and fall of Xabi’s chest against his lulling him into a restful sleep that he desperately needed.


	12. Chapter 12

Steven woke up with sunlight streaming across his face, his body was turned towards Xabi’s. Xabi was asleep on his stomach, his arms underneath his pillow. Steven scooted closer, his hand gently rubbing Xabi’s back to see if he would stir. He didn’t. Steven couldn’t help but notice the mark on Xabi’s neck, now fading. Steven pressed his body against Xabi’s his arm caressing up and down Xabi’s back as his lips pressed against the mark, his mouth opening and sucking at Xabi’s skin. Xabi shifted rolling onto his side, his arm wrapping around Steven’s waist as he moaned, pulling Steven closer to him. Steven put a leg over Xabi’s, tightening his thighs against Xabi’s as he sucked harder. Xabi’s hips began to roll, grinding against Steven’s briefs. Steven smiled against Xabi’s skin, laughing.

“Good morning.” He whispered. Xabi opened his eyes, his fingers raked down Steven’s back, making him hiss. “Ouch.” He whined a little.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry.” Xabi said, sitting up. “Stevie, you’re sun burnt.” Xabi’s fingers tread lightly over Steven’s red back.

“I am?” Steven asked, trying to look. “Fuck.” He rolled onto his stomach.

“Hold on.” Xabi said, getting off the bed and walking into the bathroom. He walked back into the room holding aloe. “Surprise, they had this in the medicine cabinet.” Xabi said, smiling. Steven pouted. “Don’t give me that look.” Xabi said, laughing as he crawled over Steven, straddling his legs. Steven squirmed, wanting to turn over and put his hands on Xabi. “Stop it, I am going to put this on you, it will feel better.” Xabi said as he stilled Steven with one hand. Steven hissed as Xabi placed his hand on Steven’s back.

“Ow, fuck it.” Xabi chuckled at Steven as he uncapped the aloe and spread it over his fingers. He slowly massaged it over Steven’s back. “Okay I approve of this.” Steven moaned. Xabi bit his lip, his hands moving up and down Steven’s back. Steven groaned, rolling his hips back, up into Xabi. Xabi grunted in response.

“Do you want to go to la vieille charité with me?” Xabi asked, sitting next to Steven on the bed. Steven stayed where he was, his eyes on Xabi. He nodded. He wanted to go where Xabi wanted. Xabi smiled at him. “And Phare de Sainte Marie? It is this really awesome lighthouse-”

“Yes.” Steven answered immediately. He loved the way that Xabi said French words. It made his cock hard. Xabi bit his lip as he looked down at Steven.

“If we leave soon, we could maybe go look at a couple of churches. I just really wanted to see the city, and since we are leaving tomorrow...”

“Yeah.” Steven said, smiling. “We could get lunch too.”

“That would be great. The lighthouse is in Vieux-Port has a ton of restaurants.” Xabi said, climbing off of him.

“You are like a human encyclopedia, you are.” Steven said, laughing. Xabi stuck his tongue out at him.

*-*-*

La vieille charité used to be an almshouse when constructed in the 17th century but was now a museum and cultural center. The first thing Xabi spouted out when they arrived to it was how it was built in the Baroque style and how Xabi thought that Baroque was gawdy and flashy, not to his tastes. Steven just nodded his head, watching Xabi talk as they walked around a courtyard.

“Oh, Stevie, remember when we were at the Parthenon and I told you about how much I disliked Corinthian capitals and columns?” Xabi asked as his eyes traveled around the gardens. Steven shrugged.

“I think so.” He watched as Xabi pointed at a chapel in the middle of the courtyard.

“That is what I was talking about. With the acanthus leaves... it looks so busy, doesn’t it?” He said, dropping his arm. Steven bit his lip, looking up at the capital.

“I think it would suck to have to carve that, yeah. You liked the really plain ones. I bet carvers would have loved you.” Steven said, smirking. Xabi bit his lip, taking a picture of the capital, even if he did dislike the order of it.

They spent the rest of the afternoon at Vieux-Port, or Old Port, where they saw the lighthouse, St. Victor’s Abbey, and ate at a small cafe on the waterfront. Xabi, forever with camera in hand, even took a picture of his food.

“Did you know that Old Port was the setting for the Count of Monte Cristo?” Xabi asked. Steven shook his head. Xabi blushed. “Along with... well...” Xabi trailed off. “It doesn’t really matter.” He said, laughing.

“What?” Steven asked.

“A lot of these places are mentioned in the Marseilles Trilogy by Jean-Claude Izzo. I find that... amazing. My older brother loved those books, they were crime novels.” Xabi said, picking at his food.

“So you recognize the names?” Steven asked. Xabi nodded.

“Actually, this place was mentioned quite a few times... that may be the reason I wanted to eat here.” Xabi said, his face turning a shade of red. Steven laughed.

“No reason to feel embarrassed about that.” Steven said. He wanted to reach across the table and kiss him, but he didn’t do it. He just smiled instead. “Did you want to see anywhere else?” Steven asked. Xabi bit his lip, then shook his head.

“No, I think I am done... unless we wanted to go all the way to the Basilica of Notre Dame de la Garde.”

“Is it close?” Steven asked. Xabi shook his head. “Then I would rather not.” He said, smiling. He felt comfortable, at ease. He liked sitting there, with Xabi, at a random cafe in France after walking around with him for hours. It felt right. “I wonder what everyone else is up to.”

“Probably drunk and by the ocean.” Xabi said, smiling.

“Mmm drunk.” Steven said, closing his eyes. Xabi laughed at him.

“Ah, I see what you want to do.” He said, standing up. “Let’s head back to the house.”

*-*-*

When they got back to the house, everyone seemed to be out at the beach, or somewhere. The house was silent. Xabi grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, drinking half of it immediately. Now that they were out of the public eye, Steven slipped his arms around Xabi’s waist. Xabi leaned back against Steven, one hand holding the bottle of water while the other slid up and down Steven’s thigh. Steven’s hands lay flat against Xabi’s stomach, pulling him in close as one reached up underneath Xabi’s shirt while the other slid down, cupping him. Xabi bit his lip and closed his eyes as Steven’s mouth left open mouthed kisses on the back of his neck.

“Stevie-” Xabi started, but his breath caught in the back of his throat as Steven pinched a nipple. He hadn’t been expecting that. “I want ..” Xabi turned around, capturing Steven’s mouth with his, his hands on Steven’s chest, pushing him towards their room.

“Want what?” Steven asked as they walked through the door. Xabi shut the door, then locked it. They stood there for a moment, not touching, just staring at each other. Xabi’s back was against the door as Steven stood a few inches in front of him.

“I want you to fuck me.” Xabi whispered. Steven didn’t have time to answer before Xabi’s lips were back on his, Xabi’s hand was at the back of Steven’s neck, holding him still as Xabi’s tongue found its way into Steven’s mouth. Steven opened his mouth wide for Xabi, his hands groping at Xabi’s ass as Xabi walked them over to the bed. Xabi pushed Steven down onto the bed, breaking body contact with him. Steven looked up at Xabi, watched him take off his own shirt, then unbutton his jeans. Steven could feel all the blood rushing directly from his head down to his crotch. He felt light headed as he stared at Xabi as he unzipped his jeans slowly, his teeth gnawing on his bottom lip. Steven’s heart was beating fast as he reached a hand out, his fingers hooking around Xabi’s belt loops, pulling Xabi towards him. Steven’s mouth was on Xabi’s stomach, his tongue and lips trailing over his exposed skin as Xabi pushed his jeans slowly down his thighs. Steven’s mouth hovered over Xabi’s crotch, his cheek brushing against Xabi’s growing bulge. Xabi’s fingers raked through Steven’s hair as he nipped at the fabric of Xabi’s briefs, making Xabi hiss and moan all at once.

“Stevie-” Xabi pleaded. Steven’s mouth retracted away from Xabi’s crotch, his hand replacing it as he looked up at Xabi. With Steven’s other hand he was kneading his own groin, rubbing his hand against the fabric of his jeans, as his fingers outlined both he and Xabi’s cocks as they grew hard. Steven yanked down Xabi’s briefs, exposing him.

“Lube?” Steven asked, his eyes burning as they looked up at Xabi. Xabi nodded, stepping away from Steven, slipping off his briefs then tossing them to the ground as he walked into the bathroom then emerging with the same small vial of lube that Steven had seen in Xabi’s bag back in Greece. Xabi was also holding a condom. Xabi’s cock was erect, bouncing slightly as he walked back over to Steven. Instead of remaining standing, Xabi pushed Steven onto his back then straddled him, leaning over and capturing Steven’s lips with his. Steven’s hands immediately grabbed Xabi’s ass, spreading his cheeks and making Xabi moan as their tongues tangled in their mouths. Xabi sat up straight, reaching behind him and cupping Steven through his jeans. Steven’s mouth watered as Xabi’s cock was just out of reach of his mouth. When he tried to scoot Xabi closer, Xabi put a hand on Steven’s chest, holding him down.

Xabi climbed off the bed and unzipped Steven’s jeans, pulling them off of him and tossing them to the ground. Steven took off his own shirt, adding it to the pile. Xabi looked down at Steven, his cock laying against his stomach as he remained on his back, where Xabi left him. Steven was just staring up at him, his mouth slightly agape. Xabi gnawed on his bottom lip: he wanted this. He wanted Steven to fuck him. Steven didn’t move, though. Xabi wanted him to move, wanted him to get up and pull Xabi onto his lap. Instead, Steven wrapped a hand around his own cock, stroking it as he looked at Xabi. Xabi couldn’t help but smile down at him as he climbed back onto the bed, his legs on either side of Steven as he brought their cocks together, wrapping his hand around Steven’s as he moved his hand, stroking them both. Steven closed his eyes, gasping for breath as Xabi quickened the pace. Steven removed his hand, instead sliding up and down Xabi’s thigh. With his free hand Xabi put the lube in Steven’s hand as he scooted forward, leaning over so that his ass was accessible and their cocks pressed between their bodies. Xabi hovered his mouth over Steven’s.

“Fuck me with your fingers, Stevie.” Xabi demanded in a whisper. Stevie lifted up onto his elbows and did as Xabi asked, uncapping the lube and spreading it over his fingers. His breathing was shallow, his holding his breath for a moment as a finger glided against Xabi’s entrance. Xabi bit his lip, pressing his ass backwards, wanting Steven’s finger to go in. Xabi looked down at Steven, whose eyes were lidded, heavy. He seemed dazed. “Stevie.” Xabi coaxed.

Steven snapped out of it, pressing his slick finger inwards. Xabi’s tight ass engulfed his finger. Xabi moaned as he lay his head to rest against Steven’s shoulder as Steven’s finger moved in and out slowly. Xabi bit his lip, using both of his hands to spread his cheeks wide. Steven pressed another finger in, shallow at first, feeling Xabi open for him. Steven’s heart beat was fast, his hand moving without him thinking of what he was doing.

Xabi was the one to pull back, was the one to grab the condom and jack Steven off for a moment before rolling it onto him. Looking down at Steven, Xabi hovered over him, holding Steven’s cock straight up, then brought himself down onto him. Xabi moaned as Steven’s cock entered him. Steven’s hands were on Xabi’s thighs as he lay there, his pupils blown. Xabi rolled his hips as soon as Steven was inside of him, bouncing and grinding down onto him. Steven felt good inside of him, finally. He wanted it, needed this.

Steven remained silent, his mouth open as Xabi fucked himself on his cock. Steven’s hands slid up and down Xabi’s thighs, watching Xabi impale himself, watching him throw his head back and close his eyes. Steven’s mouth was dry from sucking in air from his mouth. Xabi felt amazing around him.

“Oh, god.” Steven moaned as Xabi sunk down all the way, sitting with Steven fully inside him for a moment before slowly rolling his hips. The deep penetration caused Xabi’s mouth to hang open, a look of pure pleasure strewn across his face. Steven’s fingers raked down Xabi’s thighs, leaving red marks as he began moving his hips, unable to stand how slow and still Xabi had become. Xabi began making unintelligible noises as Steven’s hands moved, holding onto Xabi’s waist as he fucked him. Steven’s movements became erratic, his breathing shallow as he came, suddenly slowing his thrusts. Hissing, he still fucked him, moving his hips until his cock was spent.

On his knees, Xabi scooted forward so that he was straddling Steven’s chest as his hand wrapped around his dripping cock. Steven watched Xabi jack himself off, his hands stilling on Xabi’s thighs once more, his mouth hanging open slightly. Xabi looked down at Steven, picking up the pace of his strokes, his mind fuzzy from finally getting fucked. He felt like he had a body buzz as he came, making a mess on Steven’s chest and chin. Xabi was panting as he let go of his spent yet still hard cock.

What he hadn’t expected was for Steven to reach up and grasp him. Hissing, Xabi’s back arched as Steven stroked Xabi’s over sensitized cock. Steven leaned up, his tongue lapping at Xabi’s head. If Xabi hadn’t already come he was almost positive that would have made him. Xabi bit his lip, moaning as Steven popped Xabi’s cock with his cheek.

“Holy shit.” Xabi said, breathless as he rolled off of Steven, his tongue lapping up the mess that he made. Steven watched, motionless as Xabi cleaned him up, ending with a kiss on the lips. Steven moaned at the taste of Xabi in his mouth, his tongue vigorously searching for any remaining liquid in Xabi’s mouth. He sat up, ridding himself of his condom then walking into the bathroom to dispose of it and grab a washcloth. He was sweaty, his mind buzzing. When he walked back into the room he crawled into bed with Xabi who immediately wrapped his arms around him. Steven remained silent, thinking.

He felt... odd. He felt like he didn’t know what he wanted. He liked Xabi. He thought about Xabi on the bus, Xabi with his mouth around his cock, Xabi riding him. He thought about Liverpool, where Xabi wouldn’t be. Steven shut his eyes, not sure he made the right decision.

Xabi watched Steven lay there with his eyes closed, his hand was over Xabi’s that was resting on Steven’s chest. Xabi wanted to kiss him again, wrap his legs around him and bury his face against Steven’s hair. Steven seemed content with staying how they were, though. Not talking. That was fine with Xabi, he liked just taking time to recuperate, rest for a bit before moving. Steven sighed deeply, his hand cupping Xabi’s cheek, bringing his face closer to his and capturing his lips. They kissed until an indiscernible amount of time later, there was a knock at the door. Steven scrambled to get out of the bed, grabbing jeans and pulling them on. Xabi crawled under the sheets, not wanting to move. Steven opened the door slightly, just a crack, to see that it was Jamie.

“In the mood for drinking, lad?” Jamie asked. Steven looked back at Xabi, who was still laying in their bed.

“Xabi?” Steven asked. Xabi smiled, nodding as he stretched. Steven turned back to Jamie. “Yeah, in a few. On the beach?” He asked.

“Yeah, last hurrah since we are leaving in the morning.”

“Right...” Steven said, remembering that they were heading to Paris in the morning.When he shut the door behind him, Xabi was up out of bed and was pulling on a pair of swimming trunks. He then walked into the bathroom and brushed his teeth. Steven took his jeans back off, opting to also wear a pair of shorts on the beach.

*-*-*

Xabi was happy. With a beer in hand and a smile on his face he couldn’t stop his eyes from shifting towards Steven as he talked with Esteban and Raul who were watching Steven, Jamie, Andy, and a few of the other guys play frisbee.

“Xabi, you take uppers?” Esteban asked. “Because if you did, you should fucking share some.” He said, holding his hand out. Xabi swatted it away, the smile not leaving his face. Esteban’s jaw dropped. “Holy shit you and Stevie-” Xabi’s face became serious.

“Shut up.” Xabi said, covering Esteban’s mouth with his hand. Esteban pulled away. Xabi couldn’t help but smile though, he felt calm and happy. His eyes traveled back towards Steven. Esteban grinned.

“It’s about fucking time.” He said, laughing. Xabi laughed as he took a sip of his beer.

As time passed and the sun set, they kept drinking... and drinking. Rosy cheeked and blurry eyed, everyone was made their way to the porch. Steven was hyper aware as to where Xabi was at all times. At the moment he had an arm around Pepe, laughing and clinging to him as he drank. Steven closed his eyes, remembering all of the times that Xabi slipped away from people’s touch in public, always scooting away. Steven tried pushing the thoughts from his mind, he really did. But he was drunk, he had no control over his mind or how irrational it was being at that point in time.

Without meaning to, Steven found himself standing next to Xabi, a hand resting on the small of Xabi’s back. Xabi’s face turned towards Steven’s, smiling. Xabi’s hand slipped away from Pepe and he switched the hand that was holding his beer so that he could put his arm around Steven without a word. No one said anything about it, really. Steven felt Jamie’s eyes on him, he felt Xabi’s hand slip into Steven’s back pocket lazily, just resting there. Steven felt his cheeks redden but he refused to push him away. He wanted it, really. That was why he walked over. Seeing Xabi’s arm around Pepe, even though he knew they were just friends, made him want Xabi even more.

“Did you two have a good day, then?” Jamie asked, grinning. Steven shot Jamie a glare, but Xabi nodded his head, smiling.

“We did! We went to so many places.” He said, his hand leaving Steven’s pocket so he could use his hands to talk. Steven laughed as he watched Xabi recount all the places they visited. Steven swore that Jamie’s eyes glazed over, too much information.

“Glad you had fun then.” Jamie said, amused by how wordy Xabi had just become. Steven’s hand rested at the small of Xabi’s back. The fact that neither of them were wearing shirts was intoxicating as he remembered Xabi on top of him. Steven’s eye lids were heavy from the memory mixed with the alcohol that he had consumed. Xabi finished his drink, then stepped away from Steven to get another. Steven’s hand dropped to his side. Pepe noticed and grinned.

“Ah, I saw that, Stevie!” He said, laughing. Steven turned red. “Nothing to be all shy about.” Pepe said, his arm wrapping around Steven’s shoulders. Steven looked to Jamie, who also had a smile on his face. Steven averted their gaze, his eyes traveling towards the beer cooler where Xabi was. Their eyes locked, then Xabi pointed inside. Steven watched him disappear through the doorway. Steven waited a few minutes, finishing his beer and chatting with the others. When he was through he slipped away, making his way to their room.

Once inside, he shut and locked the door. Xabi was in the shower, Steven could hear the water running. He slipped out of his swim trunks, pulling on a fresh pair of briefs. When the water stopped, Steven heart beat sped up. Xabi emerged with the inevitable towel wrapped around his waist, his hair dripping wet and a smile across his face.

“Hey.” He whispered as he walked over to Steven, waiting for Steven to wrap his arms around him. Steven did so, kissing Xabi’s forehead, then cheek, finally landing on his lips as he wrapped his arms around Xabi. Xabi’s face was flushed from the alcohol, his body tingling and hazy all at once. He closed his eyes as he rested his head against Steven’s shoulder. He wanted to stay like that forever. “Our flight is early.” He whispered, his lips against Steven’s skin. Steven sighed. Xabi could feel his heart beat as their chests pressed together.

“I know.”

“I am tired.” Xabi said, almost in a whine as if he didn’t want to be. Steven cupped Xabi’s face with his hands, smiling. He kissed him once more.

“Me too. Climb into bed with me.” He said, pulling Xabi towards the bed, his hands dropping down to Xabi’s waist. Xabi practically hummed as they fell onto the bed, bouncing as their lips met again, this time more frantically than before. Xabi climbed on top of Steven, then rolled onto the bed, ridding himself of his towel and crawling under the covers.

Steven bit his lip as he watched Xabi burrow beneath the blankets. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to keep his hands off of him if he wasn’t wearing anything. Xabi’s hands slid up Steven’s chest, the glided down to his stomach as his head rested on Steven’s shoulder and a leg lay atop Steven’s.

Steven twisted his body, laying on his side. His leg slipped between Xabi’s so that their legs were intertwined, his hand running through Xabi’s hair idly as he closed his eyes. Xabi’s breathing evened out and Steven drifted off into a deep sleep, his body pressed up against Xabi’s.


	13. Chapter 13

Xabi woke up by hearing yelling in the kitchen. He bolted upright when he remembered that they were leaving for Paris early in the day. He rolled over, grabbing his phone on the night table.

“Fuck.” He said, then began shaking Steven who was asleep on his stomach next to him. “Stevie get up, we have to leave in fifteen minutes.” Xabi said as he got out of the bed, going over to his luggage and slipping on briefs, then jeans. He rushed into the bathroom and gathered his things as he brushed his teeth. When he walked back into the room, Steven was still asleep. Xabi crawled onto the bed, leaning down and nipping at the nape of Steven’s neck, his hands on Steven’s back as he sucked and lapped at his skin. Steven stirred.

“Hmm.” Steven said, burying his head into his pillow, stretching.

“Steven you have to get up, we need to go.” Xabi said, getting back off the bed: he had to pack.

“What for?” Steven mumbled. Xabi zipped his suitcase then sat at the edge of the bed, putting his shoes and socks on.

“I am serious, the bus is probably leaving in a minute get up.” He said, standing and slapping Steven on the ass. Steven yelped, moving. He had a smile on his face as he got out of the bed and got dressed. He slipped on a pair of flip flops and then brushed his teeth, throwing his toiletries bag into his suitcase then zipping it up.

“Ready.” He said, smirking.

The bus was full of hungover and sleeping boys who were practically silent, sans David Villa and Pepe whose conversation was getting louder by the minute as they kept trying to talk over the other. David Silva was sitting next to David Villa and was resting his head on David Villa’s shoulder with his eyes closed. Xabi and Steven sat together, near the front of the bus. They weren’t touching, keeping their hands to themselves, but they didn’t break eye contact. Not saying anything, Xabi looked at Steven’s messy just out of bed hair, the scruff on his chin, his tanned skin.

Steven wanted to kiss Xabi every time he watched him gnaw on his bottom lip. He liked how Xabi’s hair was always perfectly fine whenever he woke up.

“I wish we hadn’t slept in.” Steven said, breaking the comfortable silence.

“Why?” Xabi asked, a smirking appearing. Steven narrowed his eyes.

“You know why.” He whispered, his fingers wrapping around Xabi’s wrist which was laying on the armrest. Xabi bit his lip, which only made Steven grin. Xabi was looking down at his hand as if trying to decide what to do.

“Next time we should set an alarm.” Xabi whispered. He could feel himself getting worked up and he needed not to let that happen now. This was no long bus ride, this was just going to the airport.

They arrived to the airport without incident. Check-in took ages, security took even longer. Pepe seemed to be playing balltap in line, which was turned into some sort of ‘tag you’re it’ game that filtered down the line. Xabi got tapped by Andy Carroll; he hadn’t even known what was going on but as soon as Andy tapped him in the balls Xabi immediately tagged Steven. But instead of pulling back quickly, he still his hand for only a moment. Steven didn’t react differently than if Xabi just regularly tapped him, leaning over slightly and groaning just like everyone else. When Steven tagged Raul Albiol, he turned his head towards Xabi, his pupils were blown. Xabi grinned, pleased at what he stirred in Steven.

After that, Pepe and Sergio busied themselves by playing the hand slapping game, where you put your hands over the other persons and they try to slap yours. Pepe couldn’t slap Sergio’s hands because he always pulled away too early, making it difficult. Pepe kept muttering how much of a pansy Sergio was about it, which only made Sergio laugh.

When they finally made it past security, they had some time before their plane started boarding.

“I need coffee.” Esteban said as he looked around. “There better be some near here.”

“I am sure there is, Pirata.” Xabi said as he walked next to him. Steven and Jamie were walking in front of them and Xabi was having a hard time not watching Steven walk. Esteban side-eyed Xabi, a smirk forming across his face.

“So have you two-” Esteban started to ask, but the blush that appeared across Xabi’s face answered the question for him. “Fuck yes!” He said, a little louder than he meant to. Xabi swung his arm, hitting Esteban across the chest.

“A little discretion, please.” Xabi hissed. Esteban was practically bouncing. “You’re acting like I’ve never gotten any or something.”

“Well, I mean... there is getting with people and then there is like... being with only one person.” Esteban tried to explain. Xabi’s chest constricted. He didn’t want to bring up Mikel. Mikel was his first. That would make Steven his second... everything. He was with Mikel for two years and it was still hard, when he remembered that Mikel wouldn’t be in Spain waiting for him. Xabi looked at Steven again, his breathing hitching in his throat as Steven looked back at him and smiled. Xabi returned it, letting out the breath that he had been holding. Steven was here, Mikel wasn’t. Mikel was his past, Steven his present. It was time to get out of his own head.

Xabi could see their gate up ahead, he wanted to sit and take a short nap as they waited to board their plane. Esteban walked ahead of him now, talking with Raul and Pepe as they walked. Somehow, Steven appeared next to him, his hand grasping Xabi’s arm and pulling him into the bathroom. Xabi’s heart rate skyrocketed as Steven pushed him into a stall, locking it.

“Stevie, what-” Xabi started to ask, Steven’s sudden force making him hard. Steven shoved Xabi against the wall and covered Xabi’s mouth, silencing him. Steven’s free hand worked Xabi’s pants open, shimmying his jeans down his thighs. Xabi moaned as he watched Steven drop to his knees in front of him, unanticipated. Xabi bit his lip to stop himself from saying another word as he placed his palms on the wall of the stall. Steven’s hands stilled on Xabi’s hips as he took Xabi’s erection into his mouth, sucking on the head at first, licking the shaft up and down then taking him fully into his mouth. Xabi’s chest was heaving as he tried to stay silent, knowing that is what Steven wanted him to do made him harder. Xabi gasped as a finger slipped past his balls and glided against his entrance. He hadn’t been expecting that. His fingers raked through Steven’s hair as Steven sucked him off, his finger pressing against his hole. He hit his head against the wall as Steven’s cheeks hallowed, popping Xabi’s cock on his mouth then gasping for air as he pulled back, looking up at him. As Steven took Xabi back into his mouth, an announcement came over the intercom, stating that it was the final boarding call for Paris. Xabi, grabbing a fist full of Steven’s hair, pulled him back from his erection, expecting to have to deal with it in public but Steven had a better idea. Forcing his mouth back around Xabi’s cock, Steven sucked and bobbed his head, picking up the momentum quickly, twirling his tongue under Xabi’s head. Xabi covered his own mouth with his hand as he came in a rush, spilling himself into Steven’s mouth.

Steven sat back on his heels, looking up at Xabi who was tucking himself back into his jeans. Xabi’s face was flushed and his mouth dry from trying to control his breathing enough to stifle the noises. Xabi pulled Steven up, their lips meeting once, then twice.

Without a word, they walked out of the bathroom and practically ran to their gate, the last to board the plane. They looked around, everyone had changed seats; the only two seats left were separate. Steven looked at Xabi, his pout was apparent. Xabi gave him a small smile.

“Don’t make a big deal, go sit and I will see you after the flight.” He whispered. Steven sighed, nodding his head then sitting next to Gareth Bale. Xabi ended up sitting next to Andy Carroll.

The flight was short, barely even an hour. By the time they were up in the air, it had felt like they were landing. Gareth Bale was mad because he barely got to listen to his ipod. By the time it was deemed safe to turn on electronics, it wasn’t even fifteen before he was told to put it away again because they were preparing their descent.

As soon as they were off the plane, Steven was next to Xabi. Xabi couldn’t help but smile, happy to have Steven close to him. It felt right, walking together. Even standing next to each other at baggage claim seemed to stand out in his mind. Steven’s eyes on him, watching him. He kept glancing at him, hoping to be able to sneak a peek at him unknowingly when instead he always caught Steven looking at him.

“Is there something on my face?” Xabi asked, a smirk across his lips. Steven rolled his eyes dramatically, and scoffed.

“Are you trying to tell me I look at you too much?” Steven asked, his fingers finding Xabi’s belt loop, tugging gently, teasingly. Xabi bit his lip. He liked this Steven.

“No, I am really starting to think there is.” He laughed, wiping his face with his hand.

“There isn’t.” Steven said.

They boarded a bus, storing their baggage underneath. Kenny stood up at the front.

“Now, I know we usually stop off at the hotel and let you all run amok, but here we are going to try something different. There is so, so much to see in this city that we are going to do more... group sight seeing.” Groans were heard all around, except for Xabi... who clapped. Steven covered his mouth to keep from laughing. Kenny waited for them all to die down before he continued. “Today we are going to go to the Avenue des Champs-Élysées, where there are shops and cafes and plenty to do. After that we will visit the Luxembourg Gardens,” more groans. Kenny chuckled, then continued: “Then, after dinner we are going to take a tour of the Catacombs.” There were some cheers, mainly from Daniel Agger, Martin Skrtel, and Martin Kelly who seemed fond of that idea. “Of course, after that you will be free to roam the city. After of course, checking into your rooms. Wouldn’t want to get lost in Paris drunk now would we?” Kenny laughed and looked at Vicente to share the joke, only to see he was already asleep again.

Steven and Xabi exchanged glances, Xabi gnawing on his lower lip as he broke eye contact. Paris. He wanted to do so much. Before long, they arrived at Champs-Élysées, where they walked around shops, found a place to eat, and take pictures. Steven’s favorite picture is when Xabi handed him his camera as they walked near the Arc de Triomphe. Steven crouched to the ground, angling the camera and snapped a picture of Xabi pointing at what he wanted Steven to see without realizing Steven was taking it. Xabi was grinning in the picture, his fingers reaching out. Xabi immediately wanted to see the picture, pulling Steven up, his fingers brushing against Steven’s as he reached for his camera.

Steven’s heart was beating fast as Xabi reviewed the picture. A blush appeared on his cheeks as he saw the way that he looked in the picture with the Arc d’Triomphe in the background. As if he was caught with his hand in a cookie jar. He looked happy. Steven looked over his shoulder, grinning. He wanted that picture for himself. Xabi turned his head, looking at Steven.

“Sneaky.” Was all he said. Steven licked his lips, wanting to kiss Xabi in the middle of the crowded street. Xabi’s eyes shifted from Steven’s down to his lips. He leaned in, pressing his lips against Steven’s, hoping that he wouldn’t be pushed away. Surrounded by their friends, Steven opened his mouth for Xabi, breathing in as he deepened the kiss. Xabi sucked in a breath himself, sharply. He had expected Steven to tense up and push him back, but he didn’t. Slowly, he ended the kiss, pulling back, rewetting his lips.

“Get it!” Esteban said, clapping Steven on the back. Xabi glared at Esteban for ruining the moment. He felt light headed. He didn’t like PDA, he never had. But he had to kiss him, right then. He had the overwhelming urge to. There was no stopping it. He looked into Steven’s eyes, searching for unease. Instead he found Steven smiling at Esteban, his hand playfully giving Esteban a crude gesture. Xabi laughed.

“This is nice.” Xabi whispered. Steven nodded, biting his lower lip and taking a step back.

“Yeah.” Was all he said, breathless.

After they made their way to the Luxembourg Gardens, walking around, pushing each other into bushes and somehow ending up playing tag in the midst of it all. Everyone branched off, wandering around and looking at the different gardens and fountains. Xabi’s favorite fountain was “the Fountain of the Observatory”, or at least it was until he found the Medici Fountain. The look on Xabi’s face alone when he saw it was enough for Steven. He wished, again, that he had Xabi’s camera. He would rather take a picture of his reactions than the actual fountains themselves.

Steven didn’t mind stopping at almost every statue, letting Xabi take a picture or read the plaque explaining its meaning. He stood with his hands in his pockets, watching Xabi read it aloud for him.

“Have you read Les Miserables?” Xabi asked as they were walking through, stopping at the original model of the Statue of Liberty. Xabi snapped a photo of it. Steven shrugged.

“I’ve heard of the musical.” He stated. Xabi nodded.

“Well, a lot of it takes place in these gardens.” He says, leaning against Steven as they stood. Steven chuckled.

“You know everything.” He whispered. Xabi laughed, shaking his head.

“No I don’t, I read it in the brochure.” He said, as a matter of factly. Steven poked him in the side, making Xabi jump.

Dinner was quick, so that they could get into the Catacombs. It was hot, humid, and didn’t smell very well. Xabi stayed near Steven. The skulls put him off, really. Seeing that many sent a shiver down his spine. Steven found it fascinating. He walked with his mouth slightly open, taking everything in. Going down the dark tunnel and staircase, hearing running water behind the stone walls made his heart beat faster. Adrenaline and awe filled him. This was his favorite thing they have seen so far. When they got to the portal with the inscription reading: 'Stop, this is the empire of Death’ Xabi visibly gulped.

“Well that is slightly dark.” He murmured. Steven chuckled beside him, shaking his head. Crypts and bone piles were everywhere. Everyone was fine until Esteban felt the need to sneak up behind Xabi and put his arms on his shoulders while saying “boo” in his ear. Xabi jumped, his arm reaching for Steven, his fingers wrapping around his wrist so tight it would leave a bruise. With his other hand he covered his own mouth, only a sharp gasp escaping his lips.

When Xabi realized what had just happened, he turned and punched Esteban hard, in the arm.

“Fucker.” He hissed. His hand was still wrapped around Steven’s wrist. Steven pulled his wrist away, but then linked his fingers with Xabi’s lazily. Xabi visibly relaxed as he looked at their hands. Without another word, they walked the rest of the tour like that.

Back at the hotel, everyone gathered in the lobby with the luggage, waiting for room assignments.

“Martin Kelly and Xabi Alonso, John Terry and Gareth Bale, Alvaro Arbeloa and Raul Meireles, Steven Gerrard and Daniel Agger...” Steven tuned out Kenny’s voice. Instead he turned his attention to Xabi who was looking around for Martin.

“Are you going out with the lads, then?” Steven asked. Xabi looked at him, his brow furrowed.

“What do you mean? Do you not want to?” He asked, his hands gripping his suitcase, ready to go upstairs. Steven shrugged.

“I might just have a lie in.” He murmured. “I’m wore out.” He smiled, albeit a small one. Xabi smirked.

“Stevie, we’re in Paris.”

“I know.” Steven sighed. Daniel Agger and Martin Kelly walked up to them.

“Ready to go up? We’re in 1117.” Daniel said, holding out the keys. Steven took his, and nodded. Xabi bit his lip.

“Stevie, come on.” He whined, but only slightly. He didn’t want to cause a fuss in front of Daniel and Martin.

“What, does Steven not want to go to the Latin Quarter?” Martin asked. Xabi shook his head.

“That’s fine, Danny’s skivving off as well. You lot can go be lameasses. Xabi and I can go hook up.” He smirked, slipping an arm around Xabi’s waist, handing him their room key. Daniel’s brow furrowed.

“That’s not bloody funny, Martin.” Daniel said. Martin’s eyebrows rose.

“Oh, yeah? You stay in. Have a blast watching porn or something, yeah? We’ll go check out the Eiffel Tower together. At night. In Paris.” Martin said, making every word stand out. Steven watched Xabi look at Martin as he said it. Daniel’s fists were clenched.

“You want to bloody go look at the Eiffel Tower?” Daniel asked. Martin nodded.

“Fuck yeah, I do. We’re only here for a few days, Danny.” Xabi and Steven looked at each other, unable to grasp the verbal fight happening in front of them between Daniel and Martin.

“Well, fuck.” Daniel said, his fingers running through his hair. He closed his eyes.

“We don’t have to stay out long.” Martin said, his voice quieting. “I don’t care about the Latin Quarter. That is just where everyone else is going. All the clubs-”

“Effiel Tower sounds good, lad.” Daniel said, sighing. He looked at Xabi and Steven. “You lot going clubbing?” He asked. Xabi shook his head.

“No, we aren’t.”

“Fancy a tag along?” Martin asked. Steven and Xabi looked at each other.

“Stevie?” Xabi asked. Steven nodded.

“If you two don’t mind.” He said. Xabi smiled. Daniel shrugged.

“Don’t mind at all. Let’s put our stuff up and shower, yeah? Grab a bite and go look around, see the tower and shit.” He grinned. They started to make their way to the elevators when Xabi stopped, and laughed. Everyone looked at him, confused.

“What?” Steven asked. Xabi held his key out to Daniel, offering it to him. Daniel looked at it oddly, then grinned. Fishing his own out of his pocket and switching with Xabi.

“Makes more sense this way.” Xabi said, looking at Steven. Daniel nodded.

“I agree. Want to meet down here in oh, say... an hour?” He said, smirking as he looked Martin up and down. Steven’s cheeks pinkened at the implications.

“Yeah, showers and then food.”

The room was nice and had two twin beds in it, along with a chaise lounge in the corner of the room, near a small table. Xabi set his suitcase down near the bed by the window, immediately opening it up to get out fresh clothes. Steven did the same, then crawled onto his bed. He was exhausted. Xabi followed suit, scooting Steven over in his own bed, his face burrowing into Steven’s chest.

“You’re tired.” He stated. Steven sighed, wrapping an arm around Xabi, breathing him in.

“Effiel Tower.” Was all Steven said in return. Xabi chuckled.

“Want to join me in the shower?” He asked, his lips against Steven’s neck. Steven nodded.

“Yeah.” Xabi’s hand slipped underneath Steven’s shirt, trailing up his torso then back down it.

“I’ll go start the water, then.” He said, kissing him on the lips. Then he was gone, rolling away from him and stripping off his shirt as he walked into the bathroom. Steven bit his lip as he watched him go.

“Jesus.” He whispered as he got off the bed, following him into the bathroom.

By the time he got in there, there was a slew of clothes tossed onto the floor and Xabi was already in the shower. Steven stripped and joined him. Xabi already soaped up, his hair full of suds. Steven licked his lips, raking his eyes up and down Xabi’s body. Xabi rinsed his hair, getting the soap away from his eyes then brought his lips against Steven’s shoulder, sucking at his skin. Steven’s hands rest on Xabi’s hips, his head tilting back, letting Xabi mark his collarbone. When Xabi was done marking what was his, he uncapped shower gel, dripping it onto Steven, then took a washcloth and began cleaning him.

“I can do that.” Steven said, his voice hoarse. Xabi smirked, shaking his head. He poured a bit into his hand and reached down, stroking Steven. “Jesus, fuck.” Steven said, his hand reaching out to hold onto the tiled wall of the shower to keep from slipping. Xabi worked him into a frenzy, twisting and pulling, yanking on Steven’s balls until his toes curled. It didn’t take long before Steven came, panting and whispering Xabi’s name as he captured Xabi’s lips with his. Xabi’s tongue darted in and out of Steven’s mouth, his fingers intertwining with Steven’s hair. Gently he pushed Steven away from him, and onto his knees. Xabi took shampoo, raking it through Steven’s hair while guiding him towards his own cock. Steven tilted his head back, letting the water from the shower rinse the soap away from his eyes before he took Xabi into his mouth.   
Xabi worked the shampoo into Steven’s hair as Steven sucked on him, his tongue lapping at his head.

“Fuck, Stevie.” Xabi said as Steven forced Xabi all the way down to his base, hitting the back of his throat and more. Xabi hissed, panting as he yanked on Steven’s hair, pulling him back. “I’m going to come.” He said, his eyes dilated. Steven opened his mouth, his tongue out and ready for him. Xabi reentered his mouth, letting Steven take control as he jacked him and sucked at his head until he came, filling his mouth with him. Xabi gasped, looking down at Steven who showed him exactly how much he gave him, before swallowing it. Xabi pulled Steven up, kissing him, tasting himself on Steven’s tongue and loving it.

“You’re amazing.” Xabi whispered as he turned the shower off. Squeaky clean didn’t even begin to explain the situation.

“No, you.” Steven said, his eyes wide and a grin on his face. Xabi kissed him again, his fingers trailing over the mark he left on Steven’s collarbone that was now purple and red.

“Ready to eat?” He asked. Steven nodded.

 

By the time they got down to the lobby, Daniel and Martin were already there, waiting. Steven blushed when Daniel looked at his watch, then at Steven. Xabi seemingly ignored the silent quip about them taking more than originally planned. Martin didn’t seem phased, though. His lips were as red and puffy as Steven’s were. Daniel shouldn’t be complaining about time.

They grabbed a quick bite to eat at a cafe, opting for hot dogs wrapped in a baguette. Xabi thought it was weird, but tasty. Daniel just laughed as he watched Martin eat it, which got him a punch in the stomach.

The Eiffel Tower at night is breathtaking. Xabi couldn’t get the setting right on his camera to capture it, which had him silently cussing and trying different things. Steven took the camera from him, and told him to just enjoy the sight, that they would get a picture of it another time. Daniel had his arms around Martin as they walked. Xabi was fidgeting with his camera as Steven walked with his hands in his pockets, his eyes watching Xabi.

“Xabi,” Stevie said, his arm brushing against Xabi’s. Xabi looked up at him, frustration plain as day across his face. “We have time later, for the picture.” He said, his hand coming out of his pocket, reaching out for Xabi’s. Xabi looked at it, then looked at Martin and Daniel. Martin’s hand was in Daniel’s back pocket, his head on Daniel’s shoulder. Xabi took Steven’s hand, sighing. Their fingers linked together lazily.

Back in their hotel room, they got ready for bed. Xabi was done first, crawling into his bed. Steven walked out of the bathroom and looked at Xabi, splayed out on his bed, laying on his stomach, looking up at Steven as if testing him. Sleep in his own bed, or crawl into Xabi’s. Steven bit his lip.

“Don’t make it such a hard decision.” Xabi said as he shifted his body, making room for Steven. Steven slipped into the bed, his lips immediately finding Xabi’s, his fingers raking through his hair as his legs tangled with Xabi’s.

“It wasn’t hard.” Steven said between Xabi’s lips and neck. His mark was fading, but that was for another day. Now, it was time to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

Steven woke up to the smell of coffee.

He sat up, rubbing his eyes. Xabi was sitting on the chaise lounge, sipping a cup of coffee as he looked at a brochure, his brow knit in concentration as he read it.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” Steven asked as he stretched. Xabi was dressed and ready for the day. Xabi looked up at him and shrugged.

“You looked tired last night. I wanted you to sleep.” He said. Steven walked into the bathroom to relieve himself and brush his teeth. He hopped in the shower, quickly scrubbing down and cleaning up. When he emerged with a towel around his waist, Xabi was still sitting on the lounge, with his legs crossed.

“We have the day free, right?” Steven asked. Xabi nodded as he watched Steven change. Xabi bit his lip as Steven walked over to him, sitting on the lounge. They kissed as Steven fell into Xabi. Xabi put his coffee down on the small table, out of the way, then grasped at Steven’s shirt as he spread his legs so that Steven could fit between them, closer to him. Steven opened his mouth for Xabi, their tongues danced in and out of their mouths. Steven’s hair was wet, slippery. Xabi couldn’t yank on it, which caused a low grunt to escape from his locked lips. Steven broke the kiss, looking into Xabi’s eyes. “What did you want to do?” He asked. Xabi, lips swollen and red from the kiss, bit them then licked his lips. His shoulder had the slightest of shrugs, as if he truly had no plans. Steven’s eyes narrowed. “What do you want?” He asked again, this time his voice gruff, his fingers yanking on Xabi’s belt loops.

“I want to go to the Louvre.” Xabi whispered. Steven nodded, backing off of Xabi slightly, sitting up straight. This time, it was Xabi who didn’t want to lose contact. He pushed himself forward, his legs wrapping around Steven’s waist, over his lap. Xabi’s head rest on Steven’s shoulder as his hands grasped at his shirt. “I know the wait will be long and boring and will take up most of the day and I know you probably don’t want to go so I can go alone if you want to spend time with Carra. I have always wanted to go to the Louvre and this is my only chance-”

Xabi was silenced by Steven covering Xabi’s mouth with his hand. Xabi looked up at him, not moving his hand away, his fists remaining clenched in Steven’s shirt, not quite tugging.

“I figured you would want to spend your free day there.” He said, smiling. “I don’t want you to go alone.” Xabi smiled underneath Steven’s hand. Steven’s hand dropped slightly, his thumb ghosting across Xabi’s cheek. “I like spending time with you.” He said, his voice shaky, as if Xabi was going to deny him what he wanted.

“Okay. We should go soon, then, so we don’t spend eight hours in line.” Xabi suggested. Steven nodded.

“Good idea.”

They walked down to the lobby, which was busy, but didn’t see anyone from their group. When they walked out, Andy Carroll was there, kissing what looked to be a whore. Another was standing next to them, looking rather bored. Steven’s eyebrows shot up, while Xabi tilted his head to the side and coughed, getting Andy’s attention.

“When in Rome, am I right?” Andy said, smiling. He had cheap lipstick on his lips. Xabi shook his head.

“We’re in Paris.” He deadpanned.

“Whatever, they understand the universal language of the Euro-” Andy said, waving them off. Steven stood, mouth agape. Xabi took his hand, yanking him away from the hot mess.

“He is going to catch something.” Xabi mumbled, releasing his hold on Steven’s hand.

“I would never pay a whore.” Steven said, barely above a whisper. “No feelings in it at all.” Xabi looked at Steven, nodding.

“I don’t think I would either. Two, on top of that.” He added. “I’ve never had a threesome.” Steven remained quiet for a moment.

“I have.” Xabi stopped walking, and looked at Steven.

“Really?” He asked. Steven shrugged, looking anywhere but Xabi.

“I mean, yes. Once.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. Xabi was shocked. Steven didn’t seem like he would be one for sharing.

“How-”

“I was young.” He stated, as if that answered the matter.

“Stevie we are eighteen. We are young.”

“Well, younger.” He added, his cheeks pinkening. Xabi let the conversation drop, for the time being. They stopped at a cafe, grabbing a quick bite to eat as they made their way to the Louvre, map of Paris in hand. The line was already long when they arrived. Xabi guessed it would be at least a few hours.

“Exactly how young?” Xabi asked. Steven had thought that Xabi let it go, didn’t want to pry. His shoulders slumped. He had no such luck.

“Fifteen.” He said, sighing. “It was with two mates at the time, they were older.” He added.

“Older?” He asked. Steven looked in his eyes, Xabi was genuinely curious. Steven bit his lip.

“Yeah. They were... they were nineteen.” Xabi’s jaw dropped.

“Stevie-”

“They used me.” Steven said, finality ripped through his voice. “They weren’t the only ones either, okay?” He was shutting down. He didn’t like talking about it. He didn’t like telling people, and he definitely didn’t want to talk to Xabi about how much he wanted a relationship and how he had never been in one because everyone before just wanted.... him. Xabi didn’t respond for a while, looking around them, at the buildings surrounding the area.

“I haven’t... I hadn’t been with anyone besides my ex.” He admitted. “You’re my second everything.” He whispered. Steven looked at Xabi, and gave him a small smile.

“Yeah?” He asked. Their bodies were closing in. Xabi’s hand came up and rest on Steven’s chest. Xabi nodded.

“I like you, Stevie. I am not using you.” He said. Steven’s breath caught in his throat. “And I don’t like sharing.” Xabi said, a smirk appearing. Steven couldn’t help but laugh.

“I don’t either.”

“My ex cheated on me with Sergio.” Xabi admitted. Steven’s jaw dropped. “I didn’t... So when I thought you were with him-”

“Sergio is a fucking cunt.” Steven said. Xabi laughed, nodding his head.

“He used to be my best friend, as well.”

“Shitty friend.” Steven added. Xabi stayed quiet, he wanted to touch Steven. He wanted his hands on him, he wanted to rest his head on Steven’s shoulder. He wanted to kiss him.

“I think we are more-” Xabi stopped, rethinking his words. “I think that we aren’t friends with benefits.” He stated. Steven closed his eyes.

Those words. The fact that Xabi said them made stress and anxiety leave his body. It left with a sudden wave, ridding him of paranoia, for now. He knew that the paranoia would return with the dark of night. It always comes back at night. He looked at Xabi, and smiled.   
“No one has ever wanted to be something more with me.” He stated. Xabi bit his lip.

“Well, it is the least I could do, you’re standing in line with me for forever to get into the Louvre.” He joked. Steven scoffed. Xabi grinned.

After a few hours, Steven’s stomach was grumbling. Xabi stepped out of line, seeing how much time they had left.

“If you go find something for us to share, I can stay in line? I am hungry too.” Xabi said, taking his wallet out and handing Steven a few Euros. Steven shook his head.

“I got it.” He said, pushing Xabi’s money back. “You can get it next time.” He offered. Xabi smiled.

“Alright.”

Steven returned shortly with a crêpe for Xabi, and one for himself. It was delicious, and easy to eat while standing in line. Xabi had a brochure with him of the Louvre, he was looking it over, deciding which areas he wanted to look at since they didn’t want to spend all day in there.

“I am thinking of skipping the Greek, Etruscan, and Roman Antiquities sections since we saw so much of it in Athens.” Xabi mused. Steven shrugged.

“I don’t mind, I know you like Greek stuff.” He said, not quite looking over Xabi’s shoulder.

“Well this museum is huge.” Xabi said. “And I don’t think I need to see the Prints section. Paintings would be amazing, and the Islamic art.”

“Xabi, you’re rambling.” Steven laughed.

Once finally inside, Xabi had a field day. No pictures were taken, of course, out of respect for the older pieces of art . Instead it was if his eyes never closed as they walked around all twenty of the rooms that housed the Egyptian art. He stood at the entrance, staring at the Large Sphinx for a good five minutes before even heading inside. His fingers clung to Steven’s shirt, dragging him with him through the rooms. After a while, his hand dropped and he walked ahead, wanting to see as much as he could as they walked through the Near Eastern antiquities and Islamic arts sections of the museum.

It wasn’t until they were in the sculpture section that Xabi grabbed onto Steven’s hand, excited about seeing the Romanesque works Daniel in the Lions' Den and the Virgin of Auvergne.

“Stevie this is amazing.” He whispered. They were standing close together, the Louvre was packed with people all wanting a closer look at everything. Steven smiled, nodding his head.

“It is.”

Once they were in the High Renaissance collection, Xabi’s mouth didn’t close the entire time.

“I never thought I would get to see The Mona Lisa in person. Or Madonna of the Rocks.” He added. Steven looked at Xabi, then at the paintings.

“You look like you’re about to-”

“Shut it.” Xabi said, smacking Steven. “Maybe I am.” He stuck his tongue out. Steven eyed him.

“You know you want to look at the Baroque section of paintings.” He teased. Xabi’s eyes narrowed.

“Do not.”

“Flemish?”

“Sure.” Xabi said, grinning.

“The French Rococo period seems to really like naked bodies.” Steven stated.

“Are you complaining?” Xabi asked. Steven shook his head.

“No, I would just rather see-”

“Shh.” Xabi said, pressing a finger to Steven’s lips. If Steven said he would rather see Xabi naked, Xabi would only want to ram him against a wall in front of everyone. They were doing rather well, he thought, with the not touching... too much, in public.

They spent five hours in the museum, which to Xabi went by in a flash. Steven only felt his feet ache, and his stomach grumbling again. They took the Metro from Palais Royal to Abbesses. Montmartre at dusk was breath taking as they sat down to eat, watching the sun set. Xabi explained the different movies that took place where they were: Le Mome, Amelie, Moulin Rouge. Steven had only seen Moulin Rouge, which made Xabi say that one day they would watch Amelie together. It had to be done. Steven nodded his head, but his eyes stayed on his food. He knew that it probably would never happen. This was a holiday, their relationship may be more than nothing right now, but that didn’t mean it would last afterwards. He wasn’t kidding himself in the slightest. Xabi continued on with talk of the artists who had studios around the area at one point such as Van Gogh and Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec. Xabi named at least four others but Steven couldn’t tell you their names if you wrote them done and he had to choose.

After dinner, they walked to the Sacré-Cœur Basilica. With the sun down, they could see all the lights of Paris from the hill. Xabi asked a stranger to take a picture of them, together, overlooking Paris. Steven thought that the picture he had taken the day before was his favorite, but he was wrong. This was. Looking back at the picture after it was taken, he saw how Xabi tilted his head towards him, his fingers grasping Steven’s shirt as Steven’s arm was slung around Xabi’s shoulder. They were both smiling.

“I am exhausted.” Xabi said as they entered their hotel room and flopped down onto his bed. He stayed exactly where he fell, face first onto the sheets. He didn’t even take his shoes off.

“It’s only nine.” Steven said, scooting Xabi over then curling up against him as he lay on the bed with Xabi. Xabi snaked his arms around Steven, his face burrowing against his chest.

“We have a long day tomorrow.” He mumbled against Steven’s shirt. Steven laughed.

“We should just stay in tonight.” He said, his hands roaming Xabi’s back, raking through his hair idly. Xabi nodded, tilting his head up to find Steven’s lips. The kiss started chaste, but quickly became eager and lewd. Xabi rolled Steven onto his back as he straddled him, his fingers tugging at Steven’s belt and jeans. Steven bucked his hips upwards, making Xabi grunt. Within seconds, Steven’s hands were on Xabi hips, wrestling him onto his back and pinning his hands above his head. Xabi was panting, his pupils blown. His eyes were wide, his lips parted.

“Stevie-” Steven grinned. He applied pressure to Xabi’s wrists, letting him know he didn’t want them to be moved. Slowly, he released his grip on Xabi’s wrists, to see if he would move. He didn’t.

“Let me do this.” Steven whispered, close to Xabi’s ear. Xabi bit his lip, nodding once.

Xabi wasn’t worried, not really. Every time Steven showed Xabi exactly what he wanted, it only made Xabi harder. He liked when Steven pushed him against the bus seat, he liked when he slammed him against the bathroom wall, pulled him into the bedroom. Now, he definitely liked Steven pinning his arms above his head.

Steven took Xabi’s silence as approval. He pulled Xabi’s shirt over his head, taking his time by nipping at his shoulder, his teeth grazing over his chest, stopping to suck on a nipple. Xabi was panting beneath him, wanting to move his hands, to touch Steven. A hand reached up, grasping Xabi’s wrists again, a reminder, as Steven kissed Xabi once on the lips only to leave them again for his neck. The now almost faded mark on Xabi’s lower neck caught Steven’s eye. He licked at it, once, twice then sucked and lapped at it until it was once more fresh and red. Xabi moaned, his legs twitching. Steven scooted down Xabi’s body, unzipping his pants and pulling them off, then leaving a trail down his chest and stomach with his tongue. He sucked at the divot near Xabi’s pelvic bone, marking him again.

Xabi’s erection was apparent through his briefs, a wet spot appearing due to precome caught Steven’s attention. He looked up at Xabi, whose neck was strained in order to watch Steven bathe him with affection. Steven, with his mouth open and hollow, ghosted over Xabi’s briefs, nipping at the fabric. Xabi squirmed underneath him, his hands coming down and raking through Steven’s hair. He couldn’t take it. He wanted to touch Steven.

Steven broke contact with Xabi, which made Xabi whimper.

“Stevie-” He said again, desperation dripping from his mouth. Steven’s pupils were blown, his lips parted as his hands gripped Xabi’s wrists, holding them above his head once more.

“I want you like this. I want my mouth all over you.” He said, his voice hoarse. Xabi licked his lips, nodding. He wanted it, too. He also wanted Steven’s cock around his mouth, though. He wanted to do something, anything. Xabi opened his mouth, sticking his tongue out slightly, trying to let Steven know what he wanted to do without telling him. Steven’s eyes narrowed, but his fingers found Xabi’s mouth. Xabi sucked for all he was worth, his tongue twirling and lapping at the fingers as if he was starving. Grinding his hips against thin air, Xabi moaned. He wanted contact again. He was sorry he moved his hands. He wouldn’t do it again.

“I want your mouth on me.” Xabi said, eventually, when he realized that Steven was waiting for an answer, waiting for Xabi to stop sucking on his fingers. Steven was looking at him, watching his already debauched mouth continue to wet Steven’s fingers.

Steven pulled his fingers away, replacing them with his mouth as his wet fingers slid down Xabi’s chest, slipping underneath his briefs. He rubbed the excess slick fluid over Xabi’s shaft, then stroked him lazily as they kissed. Xabi rolled his hips upwards into Steven’s palm. Steven leaned down, his mouth leaving open, wet kisses on his skin as he made his way down to Xabi’s cock. When he got there, he pulled Xabi’s briefs down, lifting his legs in order to discard them. When his legs dropped back to the ground, Xabi grunted. “Please, please.” He said, his legs falling open in front of Steven.

Steven hooked his arms around Xabi’s legs, pulling his body up and forwards, folding Xabi’s legs back towards his head so that his ass was up in the air. Xabi couldn’t help but move his hands, splaying them outwards to balance himself. Steven didn’t move them back. Instead, he placed his mouth over Xabi’s hole, licking and sucking at it. Xabi’s eyes shot open, panting quickly. “Oh, Jesus. Fuck.” He said, his hands clenching around the sheets. Xabi hummed, gasping as Steven’s tongue entered him.

Not liking the angle he was at, Steven backed away, dropping Xabi’s legs to the bed. Xabi moaned, but stopped when Steven pulled him up from the bed.

“The lounge.” Steven said. Xabi got off the bed and sat on the lounge. His chest was heaving as he watched Steven strip off his shirt, his jeans, his briefs. “Sit on the floor.” Xabi did what he said, opening his mouth, thinking he would get to blow him. Steven smirked, but shook his head. “Same position as on the bed.” Xabi got onto his back, folding his legs over his head, his palms spread on the floor so he could lift his ass in the air, only his shoulders remaining on the ground. Steven grabbed him by his thighs, bringing his mouth back to Xabi’s wet entrance. Xabi squirmed underneath him, his toes curling. Steven worked him open with his tongue, then added a finger, shallowly fucking him with it.

Mikel did this to Xabi a few times, but didn’t take his time. Steven was going slow, Steven’s tongue was like fire on his skin. Every time Steven looked at him he felt like he was the only thing that Steven wanted. Now, it was as if his assumptions were true. Steven was fucking him so slow with his fingers that it was torturous. This was better than Mikel. The fact that Xabi even thought about his ex right now made him angry with himself. He forced his eyes open, watching Steven work him open, readying him.

When Steven added a second finger, Xabi arched his back. With his lips parted, his gasped.

“Yes, fuck yes. More.” He said. He wanted to reach up and touch him but he knew, now, that Steven would stop. He didn’t want him to stop. But Steven was listening to him. He added a third, spitting first to ease the burn. He picked up the pace, fucking Xabi with his fingers. Xabi bit his bottom lip to keep a never ending tumble of noises from escaping.

Steven knew the condoms and lube were in the bathroom. He needed to go get them, but he couldn’t break away from Xabi like this. His cock was throbbing between his legs, and he was already sweating. He was dripping with precome with every noise Xabi made beneath him. Xabi telling him that they were more than fuck buddies ignited something within him. Xabi was his, for now. Xabi was his for tonight, and for the rest of the trip. For now, that was enough.

Steven pulled his fingers out, to Xabi’s dismay.

“On the bed, I’ll be back.” Steven said, helping Xabi up. Xabi crawled onto his bed, on his shins, and leaned over, tucking his arms against his chest with his cheek on the bed so he could watch Steven walk back into the room.

When he saw Steven come back, with a condom and lube in his hands, he smiled. Steven jaw dropped.

“Do you know what you look like right now?” Steven asked. Xabi shook his head.

“No.” It was a simple answer, but it made Steven’s cock twitch. Without a word, Steven crawled onto the bed, his tongue licking from Xabi’s balls to his entrance, making Xabi shiver. If that wasn’t an answer, then Steven didn’t know what would be. He uncapped the lube, spreading if over Xabi’s hole then rolled on the condom, applying lube to his dick as well. He grasped Xabi’s hips, aligning himself, then pushed in. Xabi moaned, shifting his body slightly, spreading his legs more for Steven. Steven pounded into him, picking a fast pace. Xabi breathed loudly, eventually it turned into moans with every thrust. He tried to push up onto his arms, but Steven’s arms pushed him back down by his shoulders, his cheek remaining on the bed as he fucked him.

“Touch yourself for me, Xabi.” Steven said. Xabi’s fingers immediately wrapped around his weeping cock. He hummed, gritting his teeth as he jacked himself off as Steven drove into him over and over again.

“Stevie-” Xabi barely got Steven’s name out before he came onto the sheets, making a mess of his hands and fingers. “Agh, fuck.” He said, his face contorting as he rode his high out as Steven shifted his body, bending Xabi’s knees to one side so that they were laying on the bed back to chest. Steven reached for Xabi’s hand, bringing his messy fingers into his own mouth, sucking on them as he slowed down, fucking Xabi deep and hard. Xabi’s mouth was open, panting as his fingers left Steven’s mouth and found his hand. Intertwining their fingers, he twisted his body, straining his neck so that he could kiss Steven. Steven found Xabi’s lips immediately. He came in waves, continuing to thrust into Xabi until he was completely spent. When he pulled away, Xabi rolled onto his back. His body felt like jelly. Steven disposed of the condom, then crawled into the bed with Xabi.

He must have drifted off to sleep because his phone ringing startled him. He rolled out of the bed and grabbed the phone out of his jeans pocket. Xabi stirred on the bed, stretching but not moving much farther. Steven looked at his phone, it was Jamie.

“Yeah?” He said into the receiver. Jamie scoffed.

“Lad, where have you been all damned day?” Jamie asked. Steven rolled his eyes.

“I went to the Louvre with Xabi then we went to the Sacre-”

“That’s nice, hey you, we’re all going back to the Latin Quarter. Fucking come out with us.” Jamie demanded. Steven looked at Xabi, whose head was buried underneath a pillow.

“I don’t know, mate.” He said, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m going to need to shower.” He said, laughing a bit.

“Nonsense. Why would you--- oh.” Jamie was silent for a minute. “Cheeky bastard. Fucking rinse off and get your asses down here, with clothes on. No chances after tonight.” He hung up the phone.

Steven walked over to Xabi and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Xabi, the lads are all going out.” Xabi moaned, shifting his body so that he could see Steven.

“Are you going?” He asked. His voice was rough from sleep. Steven could see the mark he left on Xabi’s neck, and hip. He smiled.

“Jamie might kill me if I don’t go.”

“I should shower, then.” He said, not moving. Steven laughed.

“Probably. I need to, too.”

“If we do that, we aren’t going to leave.” He smirked.

“You go first, then.” Steven insisted. Xabi pouted. He wanted Steven to give in, not go out. “Don’t give me that look. Since when do you want to stay in?” He asked.

“Since you fucked me hard and I don’t want to move right now.” He said, amusement coating his lips.

“Do you really not want to go?” Steven asked. “I mean, it is already almost midnight. We have to be up early.” Xabi hadn’t moved yet, he was still contemplating it.

“I... no. I think I want to be a lame ass and stay in.” Steven redialed Jamie’s number.

“Don’t you dare back out.”

“We’re backing out.” Steven said, laughing at his best friend.

“What the fuck for?” He asked.

“Do you want to know the real reason or do you want me to make something up?” Steven asked. Xabi’s eyes widened. He wouldn’t. Jamie laughed outright over the phone.

“I get it, I get it. I don’t want to know details. Although Esteban and Pepe-”

“We’ll see you on the bus in the morning.” Steven said, hanging up. He tossed his phone back onto his jeans then pulled Xabi up from the bed. “Come on, I actually do want a shower.” He said, grinning. Xabi laughed.

They showered, crawled into Steven’s clean bed, and fell asleep watching a French film on TV that neither of them understood a word of, wrapped in each others arms.


	15. Chapter 15

Xabi’s alarm went off at an ungodly early hour, six am. He grunted, stretching his legs and yawning. Steven stirred, groaning at the movement. His arms were wrapped around Xabi’s waist, his face buried in the nook between Xabi’s shoulder and neck. Xabi hummed, his fingers running through Steven’s hair.

“It’s time to get up.” He said, his voice was cracked from sleep as he rubbed his eyes, shifting to get up. Steven clung to him tighter.

“No, it isn’t.” Steven mumbled. Xabi laughed, fingers grasping Steven’s wrists so he could get up.

“We have to be packed and in the lobby by seven.” Xabi stated, sitting up and throwing his legs over the edge of the bed. Steven pulled the sheets over his head and curled into a ball.

“Ugh.” Was all Steven said. Xabi sighed, shaking his head. He pulled the sheet away from Steven, and laughed at the sight. Steven had his eyes shut tight, and draped an arm over his face.

“Don’t be a baby.”

“Mm’ not.” Steven shot. Xabi got out of bed, grabbing a pair of clothes and changing. He went into the bathroom to pack up and brush his teeth. When he emerged, Steven was dressed and packing everything up.

Xabi sat back down on the bed, crossing his legs as he watched Steven pack. Xabi bit his lip.

“Today is going to be long.” He said, picking at the sheets, smoothing them out. Steven nodded, then got up to brush his teeth and gather the rest of his things. When he came back out, Xabi was sitting on the edge of the bed, his feet on the floor, spread apart. He was leaning back on the palms of his hands. “And I wanted to wake up early for a reason.” Steven didn’t hesitate. He crawled onto the bed, pushing Xabi onto his back, straddling him. Xabi’s fingers worked open Steven’s jeans, pushing them down his thighs, out of the way.

“Why did we even get dressed, then?” Steven asked, his fingers raking through Xabi’s hair as Xabi freed his rapidly hardening cock, jacking it a few times as Steven scooted up Xabi’s chest. Xabi looked up at Steven, smirking.

“Wanted to make sure we got ready to go first.” He said, then opened his mouth. Without another word, Steven put his cock in Xabi’s mouth. Xabi licked and sucked, his tongue swirling over Steven’s head as he took him into his mouth over and over, bobbing his head. He couldn’t move much, relying on the roll of Steven’s hips to set the pace. Steven pressed downwards, his cock hitting the back of Xabi’s throat as he spread his lips thin for him. Choking, Xabi pulled back at coughed. His fingers wrapped around Steven’s cock long enough for him to breathe, then his mouth was back around him. Xabi could taste precome, sucking it down as his tongue licked up the shaft. He cupped Steven’s balls from behind, pressing them together and rolling them as he sucked on his head. A finger slipped past his balls, pressing against his entrance. Steven grunted, not expecting it and spilt into Xabi’s mouth. Steven backed up, leaning down to capture Xabi’s lips with his, their tongues intertwining as they both tasted Steven fully. When they broke apart, Xabi’s lips were red, puffy, and totally debauched.

Xabi squirmed out from underneath Steven and straightened his clothes, wiping his mouth with a hand.

“What about you?” Steven asked, sitting on the bed. Xabi shrugged.

“No time.” He said, smirking. Steven pulled Xabi over to him by his belt loops.

“I can be quick.” He murmured.

Everyone gathered in the lobby, piling onto a bus that would take them to Disneyland Paris, then from there directly to a train. On the bus, Xabi had a brochure of Disneyland Paris out. He was biting his lip, eyes narrowed as he looked it over. Esteban and Raul were sitting in the seats in front of them, talking about how many times they wanted to ride Big Thunder Mountain. Jamie was sitting with Pepe, both of them were sleeping.

Kenny stood at the front of the bus, coughing to get everyone’s attention.

“Alright, lads. As you know, we are spending the day at Disneyland Paris. Now, there are two parks and we have park hopper passes so you can visit both. All I ask is that you meet back here, at the bus, after the park closes. After that we are heading to the train station.” Xabi nodded, his leg bouncing. He turned to Steven.

“I think we should start out at Walt Disney Studios.”

“Whatever you want to do.” Steven said. Xabi eyed him.

“We should get fast passes for Rock n’ Roller Coaster as soon as we can.” Xabi stated. Steven laughed, nodding.

“Alright.” Esteban popped up from his seat.

“We’re following you two around.” He stated.

“Why?” Xabi asked.

“Because you’re a genius and probably have it mapped out where you want to go and what fucking fast passes to get... and what order.” Xabi was quiet, glaring at Esteban. “Am I right? You know I am fucking right. We’re following you around like creepers.” He stated, turning back around and sitting. Xabi’s lips were pursed. Steven laughed.

“Do you have it mapped out?” He asked. Xabi nodded.

“Tentatively, yes. I mean we don’t have to-”

“I bet we’ll get a lot done.” Steven said. “I’ve never been.” Xabi smiled.

“I have, twice, with my family.” Xabi said, looking back down at the brochure.

They were there for the rope drop, immediately making their way to Rock n’ Roller coaster to get fast passes. Esteban and Raul were, indeed, following them along with Pepe and Jamie. They got in line for the Tower of Terror. Jamie and Pepe were counting the number of kits they saw. So far Brazil was winning, with AC Milan coming in second. Xabi was the first to sit in a row, then Steven, Jamie, followed by Pepe. Esteban and Raul sat in the row behind them. As the ride started, Esteban flicked Xabi’s ear.

“Fuck you.” Xabi said, trying to reach behind. He couldn’t reach Esteban before they started up the elevator shaft. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Xabi said, gripping the bar in front of him as they dropped suddenly, then went up again. His stomach dropped as they fell once more. He shut his eyes, reaching over for Steven’s hand. Steven squeezed, hard. Xabi could hear him laughing and screaming next to him. The ride was over in what felt like seconds. As they came to a stop, Xabi released his grip from Steven’s hand, hoping no one noticed. He looked back at Esteban, who looked about to burst. He glared at him.

“Don’t.” He said as they got off the ride. Once they were off, they still had a bit of time before they could get in line for Rock n’ Roller coaster so they got fast passes for Crush’s Coaster.

“I am excited. Aerosmith’s ride is fucking sweet.” Esteban said as he practically skipped into the line. Raul wasn’t far behind him.

“I thought it was called Rock n’... roller coaster. What is he talking about Aerosmith for?” Steven asked.

“Well, it is actually Aerosmith’s Rock n’ Roller coaster. It is only about a minute long and it is super fast.” Xabi stated. “You get to listen to Steven Tyler sing in your ear the entire time.” He laughed. Steven made a face.

The ride itself was indeed fast, making Steven’s head hit the back of the headrest from the speed alone. Twists and turns in darkness with neon signs as they rushed through the track. Steven was dazed when they got off of it.

“I want to do that again.” Steven said, once he got his balance back. Xabi smirked, raking his fingers through Steven’s now messed hair.

“If we did that, we would be here all day. We have to go on Crush’s Coaster, then we’re going into Disneyland Park.”

“Really, that is all we are doing in here?” Esteban said, pouting. Xabi shrugged.

“I mean, you could stay here, but there are a lot of things at-”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re the tour guide, we’re following you.” Jamie said, laughing. Xabi’s cheeks pinkened.

Raul and Esteban bought Mickey Mouse hats, then shared an ice cream cone. Xabi took a picture of them, both licking it at the same time. Steven shook his head: sometimes they acted more like a couple than he and Xabi did.

A couple.

They were not a couple. Or were they? Labels seemed so wrong here, for them. Time was running out, once he thought about it. Only a few more days. He looked at Xabi who couldn’t stop smiling. His heart constricted. How could he be so carefree when they had so little time left?

Crush’s Coaster was fun, but not nearly as fast or mind numbing as the previous ride had been. They caught the bus over to Disneyland Park and immediately got passes for Buzz Lightyear’s Laser Blast, then grabbed food to eat while they waited to go into Phantom Manor. They ate hot dogs, fries, and chugged their sodas before they got to the entrance of the house, throwing away their trash as a cast member dressed as a servant let them into the Foyer where the ride started. The lights dim, and Xabi’s hand immediately found Steven’s.

Steven smiled. He liked that Xabi scares easily, somehow. He pulled him closer so their bodies were touching. The room was crowded, full of people as they listened to the disembodied voice tell them why the Manor is haunted. They shuffled into a long room with pictures that shifted and the disembodied voice wished them good luck trying to get out. The lights went out and lightning flashed. Xabi’s grip on Steven’s hand tightened and Steven couldn’t stop a smile from cracking because of it. Suddenly, the room began to stretch, somehow.

“What the fu-” Xabi whispered. Steven held back laughter. He leaned in, closer to Xabi’s ear.

“The floor is moving down and the ceiling, up, Xabi. I thought you’ve done this before.” He said. Xabi glared at him.

“I never wanted to go on it, before.” He hissed. Lightning cracked again, and the ceiling disappeared, showing a man hanging from a noose. Xabi squeaked. “Jesus!”   
“That is not Disney-like.” They heard Esteban say. Jamie laughed. Once the floor stopped moving, they walked down another hallway with more gruesome pictures, then they got on the actual ride itself. The carriages held two people each.

“I want off.” Xabi stated.

“Close your eyes, then.” Steven said, still holding onto his hand.

“You think I am acting like a child, don’t you.”

“We’re so watching The Ring and every other scary movie I can get my hands on.” Steven said as the ride started.

“No.” Xabi said, looking at Steven instead of whatever sort of creepiness was happening around him.

“Yes.” Steven said, squeezing Xabi’s hand. He leaned in, kissing him. The ride was dark, and no one could see them. Screams and shouts could be heard all around them but Xabi kissed him back, his eyes closing. He had picked the rides, true, but he knew everyone else would like the ride, not necessarily him. He did feel childish, being afraid of a Disney ride, but in all honesty: that ride is scary.

As they exited the ride, they looked back at the Phantom Manor, seeing the silhouette of the ghost looking out the window as they walked through a cemetery.

“You know, Xabi, you were awfully quiet in that ride.” Pepe said, grinning. Xabi glared at him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He muttered, his cheeks turning redder as they seconds passed. Pepe wagged his eyebrows at Xabi and Steven knowingly.

“Oh, nothing. Just an observation.” He said. Xabi and Steven looked at each other. Steven smirked a little.

“Your lips are puffy.” He whispered. Xabi’s fingers touched his own lips, self-consciously. They grabbed fast passes for Thunder Mountain, then went on Pirates of the Caribbean.

“That was nothing like the movie.” Esteban said, scowling.

“I thought it was supposed to be like the movie.” Raul said, he still had his Mickey Mouse hat on that matched Esteban’s.

“Well, it was made way before the movie.” Xabi stated, shrugging.

“Then why was Johnny Depp in it?” Raul asked. Xabi rolled his eyes.

“They added that in afterwards.” Xabi stated. Raul looked dejected. On Buzz Lightyear’s Laser Blast, Jamie won the most points, and Pepe came in second. Esteban came in last and complained that his gun was broken. Raul stated that that wasn’t true at all and that he was just a shit shot. Raul got punched in the arm pretty hard. Pepe swore he saw him tear up. Thunder Mountain was pretty cool, as roller coasters go. Steven thought that going on Rock n’ Roller coaster first ruined all other roller coasters for life. Xabi only rolled his eyes at that; Thunder Mountain was his favorite as a kid.

The sun was getting lower, towards the horizon, when they entered Alice’s Curious Labyrinth. It was Raul’s idea to split up, really. Jamie and Pepe had found the beer cart, and wanted to stay by it for a while. Xabi and Steven entered the maze together. Giant replicas of the different Alice in Wonderland characters were everywhere in the tall hedges as they walked around, getting lost. Xabi had a map out, he was leading them. When he led them right into a dead end, Steven’s eyebrows raised.

“Getting a little lost?” He asked. Xabi smirked, sticking the map in his back pocket, his hands slipping around Steven waist. Steven looked around, they were alone. They went through most of the maze fast, racing through Turgley Wood, until they got to the second part of the maze. The Queen of Heart’s Maze was the harder part, had more twists and turns. Xabi’s hands reached into Steven’s back pockets, squeezing what he found. Steven let out a short moan, then captured Xabi’s lips with his. It was getting darker by the second. With a sharp intake of breath, Xabi pushed his body against Steven’s, wanting more contact. Steven deepened the kiss, then slid his tongue down Xabi’s cheek, his neck. He marked him there, sucking and lapping his tongue over the sensitive skin. Xabi moaned as Steven pushed him up against a hedge.

“I told you they weren’t going to try to find the castle!” Esteban’s said. Steven and Xabi broke apart, both with their eyes wide. Esteban and Raul were standing there, in front of them, smirking. Esteban held his hand out towards Raul and made a grabby hand gesture. Raul forked over some cash.

“Pirata, did you seriously bet-” Xabi started to say as he straighted himself up. Steven did the same, silently.

“Fuck yeah, I did. Raul loves to bet on shit.” Esteban nudged his new best friend in the arm. Xabi rolled his eyes.

“Like on what?” Steven asked, not really sure he wanted to know. Esteban shrugged.

“Stupid shit like, uh, last on the bus... or who would pass out first when we are drinking. He never chooses Rooney.” Esteban’s eyes were wide, like it was obvious. “Most likely to hook up, but he wins that one because he keeps saying Andy.” Raul grinned at that one.

“Once I got paid double because he had two girls.” He said.

“Were those the whores?” Steven asked. Raul and Esteban looked at him, their faces blank.

“He got whores?” Esteban asked.

“Two?” Raul added. Xabi side eyed them all.

“Why didn’t I think of that...” Esteban murmured under his breath.

“It’s getting dark, we should get back to Main Street, or near the castle to watch the parade. I want to be in front of the castle for the fireworks, though.” He said, clearing his throat, glad they weren’t discussing his and Steven’s make out session in the bushes. They didn’t bring it up again, thankfully. Or at least, not until they met up with Jamie and Pepe again.

Xabi took a step back from Steven at the Fantillusion Parade, opting to stand between Pepe and Esteban. He didn’t want Steven feeling uncomfortable because his friends couldn’t keep their mouths shut when it came to his love life. Xabi looked over at Steven as Flora’s Gazebo passed by them. Steven had his arms crossed, his head tilted towards Jamie as they spoke to each other. Xabi looked back at the parade. Their trip was coming to an end, soon. Only a few more cities, a few more days together. As much as he would love to hole up with Steven in a hotel room... he knew that he couldn’t. It would make things hard in the end. Even standing apart from him right now was hard. What would it be like when they left for Spain? Xabi bit his lip, not even thinking as he looked back at Steven. This time Steven was looking at him, too. Xabi smiled, his hands slipping into his back pockets.

Steven wanted to stand next to Xabi. It felt odd, not doing so right now. He knew why Xabi did it, because of his friends. Steven didn’t mind, now that he knew what was going on. Or, well, sort of knew what was going on. He knew the Spaniards were loud, now. He knows that they only care about Xabi being happy, and he cared about that too. By the time the villains were past them and the Princesses carriages were almost through, Xabi made his way over to Steven. They stood next to each other, Xabi with his hands in his pockets and Steven with his arms crossed, until it was over with.

The group of them met up with Daniel Agger, Martin Skrtel, Martin Kelly, and Raul Albiol who was with Alvaro Arbeloa. Steven stood near Daniel and Martin Kelly. Daniel had an arm draped lazily over Martin’s shoulder as they waited for the fireworks over Sleeping Beauty’s castle to begin. Steven reached out to Xabi, taking his hand from his pocket, and held it. Xabi looked at him and smiled. The fireworks lasted only ten minutes, but were beautiful and timed to music that seemingly came from all around them. Steven wanted to watch it again and again, especially since he had someone with him to share it with.

When they got back onto the bus, Kenny told them not to get too comfortable, that the ride to the train station wouldn’t be too long. Xabi curled up in his seat, though. He was exhausted. Steven had sat down first, against the window. Xabi’s head immediately went to Steven’s shoulder, his eyes closing.

“Lad, don’t go to sleep.” He said, his head resting against the cool window. Xabi made a noncommittal noise, but didn’t move. Steven let him do what he wanted.

Once on the train, Steven, Jamie, Xabi, and Pepe got a cabin together. Xabi curled up once more, this time leaning against the window, feet tucked up on the bench. The train ride was only three hours, but he was out like a light. Steven sat across from him, next to Jamie, as Pepe sat next to Xabi.

Steven didn’t think this through, he decided. He should feign sleep. Sharing a cabin with his best friend, and Xabi’s... while Xabi was passed out. He looked at Pepe, it was too late.

“So, Stevie-” Pepe started. Steven’s back stiffened.

“We haven’t done anything.” He said, immediately. Jamie snorted.

“Lad, don’t lie now.” He whispered. Steven looked at Xabi, his eyes shut and his mouth open slightly. Steven looked from Pepe to Jamie, and sighed.

“I was just going to say you two look like you sorted your issues out.” Pepe stated, grinning. Steven nodded, looking down at this hands. He didn’t want to talk about this. He didn’t even like thinking about talking about what was happening. He had enough on his mind as it is-

“Lad, get out of your own head for a moment.” Jamie said, next to him. Steven looked up at him and bit his lip. “I know you are thinking about how the trip is ending, yeah?” Jamie said. Steven nodded, sighing once more. “Well stop.”

“That’s easy for you to say.”

“Deal with it because I am saying it.” Jamie looked serious. “Don’t mope, don’t shut down, don’t be the Stevie who pushes someone away because you think you know what is going to happen.” Steven looked from Jamie to Pepe.

“I’m trying! Alright.” Steven said, his voice getting loud for a second and then quietening when he saw Xabi stir. “I am trying not to think about everything, but it is fucking hard alright. And I don’t want to talk about Xabi.” He added. Jamie raised one eyebrow at him. Steven narrowed his eyes in retaliation. “Now, what was your favorite ride?” He asked, changing the subject. He was done talking about her personal life, what was left of it.

Arriving in Amsterdam well past midnight, Kenny handed out keys quickly in the lobby. Xabi was rooming with Martin Skrtel, and Steven with Jamie, finally.

“Never thought we would actually room together.” Jamie said as they put their things down. Steven laughed.

“I swear I thought we weren’t going to at all.” He said as he unzipped his luggage and pulled out a pair of boxers. They both changed in silence. Steven crawled into bed. “Thanks for talking me into taking this trip, for saving up for it.” Steven said as Jamie turned off the light.

“I knew you would have fun.” Jamie spoke as his head hit the pillow. “And I am glad you found Xabi.” Steven was silent for a moment.

“It’s going to hurt, though.” Steven whispered.

“What is?” Jamie asked, his voice muffled by the pillow.

“The end of the trip.”

“Shut up and go to bed.” Jamie said, ending the conversation.

Chapter 15 Amsterdam Day 1 4317

Steven woke up with his arms around his pillow and a crick in his neck. Jamie was still passed out next to him. He reached for his phone, it read that it was just past seven in the morning. He groaned, shifting the pillow so that he could lay his head back on it comfortably. He noticed he had a few texts, all of which were from Xabi.

‘I can’t sleep.’ was sent a little over an hour after they arrived at the hotel. Then ‘Martin snores’ forty minutes later. The final text read ‘You’ve ruined me’. Steven’s brow furrowed. How had he ruined Xabi?

‘What do you mean, ruined? Sergio is the ruiner of things, remember?’ He hit send, then closed his eyes. Seven AM was too early to do anything. He was almost back asleep when he felt his phone vibrate.

‘Why are you up?’ Xabi asked. Almost immediately afterwards he sent another ‘and I was delirious, it was four am’. Steven cocked an eyebrow at that cover up.

‘Can’t sleep’ Steven answered back. ‘And don’t lie’ immediately following the previous text.

“Go in the bloody bathroom and tap on your fucking phone, lad.” Jamie’s voice said, muffled by the pillows, not moving. Instead, Steven went out on the balcony, sitting and enjoying the coolness of morning. It would get hotter as the sun rose, but for now: it was cool.

‘You should come up to my room’ Xabi suggested. Steven actually thought about it.

‘Martin could wake up’

‘He would sleep through a monsoon’

‘How about we go to breakfast?’ Steven suggested. He wanted to see Xabi. It felt weird, not waking up next to him.

‘Meet in the lobby in twenty’ Xabi answered. Steven got up, and went into the bathroom for a quick shower. When he emerged, Jamie had turned over and was snoring. Steven stood for a moment, wondering if he should ask Jamie along or if he should just let him sleep. He decided that letting Jamie sleep would be the best plan and got dressed. By the time he made it down to the lobby it was nearing eight. Xabi was sitting on a couch on the phone. When Steven walked up he realized that Xabi was talking in Spanish, which he hadn’t really heard much of since he met him. He sat down next to him, and closed his eyes, listening to Xabi talk to who Steven figured would be his family. Xabi mimed the word “sorry” as he nodded his head and then said the word “si” over and over again. Steven smiled. It sounded like the conversations with his grandmother on the phone, he never got a word in edge wise.

By the time Xabi got off the phone, Steven had drifted back to sleep, his head resting on Xabi’s. shoulder.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to call them, I didn’t realize they would want everyone in the family to talk to me.” Xabi said, shaking Steven awake. Steven hummed, lifting his head up. “I didn’t mean to keep you.”

“‘s fine.” Steven said, stifling a yawn. “Breakfast?” He asked. Xabi grinned, nodding.

“Then I was thinking about taking a taxi and going to the Van Gogh Museum...” Xabi trailed off as if afraid Steven would say no. Steven took a moment to realize that Xabi was waiting for an answer, waiting for an ‘okay’ from him. Steven shrugged, nodding his head.

“Whatever you want to see, Xabi. You’re the museum go-er. I’ll follow you.” He said, smiling. Xabi had apparently been holding his breath.

“Okay because I really like Van Gogh and I know we have seen a few of his things in the museums that we’ve been to and I just really think it would be neat-”

“Xabi.” Steven stopped him, putting a hand over Xabi’s mouth. He could feel Xabi breath against his hand, which made his eyelids flutter. “You don’t have to explain to me.” He said, his voice soft.

Xabi grinned, nodding his head. Steven dropped his hand, staring at Xabi’s lips. Xabi looked around, seeing that no one was paying attention, and kissed him. Mikel was never one for museums. He thought they were boring. The only thing he ever wanted to do was Xabi. They never went out, they never walked around. Xabi was beginning to realize how much he preferred Steven. How much Steven seemed to actually like him, not just make him feel like a piece of property.

All he was to Mikel was property. Property that he didn’t even want anymore, apparently. A piece of ass, whipped and tied tightly around his finger. Not anymore, though. Steven grabbed Xabi’s hand, dragging him out onto the street, looking around while Xabi plunged deep into his subconscious. His mother told him that Mikel had dropped by the day before, with a box of Xabi’s things he found at his place. Xabi didn’t want any of it. His mother, of course, gushed about how nice Mikel was, how he stayed for a long time talking to her and his father about his plans for university. Xabi bit his lip, he was still waiting to hear where he got into. He applied to so many schools at home and abroad. He looked at Steven, who dropped Xabi’s hand to hail a cab. It was still early in the morning, he supposed, but still... there were people everywhere.

Xabi closed his eyes, thinking about Steven with him in Madrid, or Barcelona. Them on holiday in Ibiza together. Things that he used to think about with Mikel. He wanted Steven there, but there was no time. Two weeks does not make a relationship, less if you count Sergio’s cockblocking. Xabi bit his lip as they got into a cab. Steven told the driver where they wanted to go, they would find a place to eat near the museum. If Steven noticed how quiet Xabi was, he didn’t mention it. Internally, Xabi was at war with himself.

Where would he end up in the fall? His life was up in the air. He didn’t know where Steven had applied, what Steven wanted to do, if he wanted to stay in Liverpool... Xabi looked out the window, sighing. Only a few days, and he was moping, wondering about the future. He didn’t want to do this, he wanted to have fun with Steven while he could. Hearing about Mikel at his family’s house threw him off. He hadn’t been expecting it. Imagining Mikel in his room, seeing if any of his things were still lingering. Xabi grit his teeth, thinking about Mikel searching his things.

It was a short ride, just around ten minutes, and they got off. They took their time walking around, finding a place to sit and eat breakfast.

“What are the chances of Andy going to one of those....” Steven trailed off as he sipped his coffee.

“Live sex shows?” Xabi asked, a cheeky grin appearing across his mouth. Steven nodded, laughing.

“Yeah, one of those.”

“Most definitely.” Xabi stated. “He and John, maybe... I don’t know... I could picture Carra.” He said. Steven’s eyes went wide.

“Carra? You think? I know he... well. He and the lads go to watch girls dance all the time but-”

“It’s not the same.” Xabi stated.

“Have you been to one?” Steven asked. Xabi lifted an eyebrow as he took a sip of his own coffee, then nodded. Steven’s jaw dropped.

“When?” He asked.

“Last summer. I came here with... friends.” He stated. He was with Mikel, yes, but also with friends of theirs.

“And?” Steven asked. Xabi shrugged.

“I mean, I had a boyfriend. He-” Xabi stopped for a moment, thinking of his wording. He never realized how fucked up this was until now. “We didn’t go to a show, per se. He got...”

“He bought a whore while you were there?” Steven asked, his voice crisp and serious. Xabi bit his bottom lip.

“Doesn’t matter now. I don’t have any interest in going to one.” He wanted to change the subject. There was too much Mikel in his brain today and he wanted to get rid of it. He looked at his watch, it was almost ten, when the museum opened.

“How about a hash bar?” Steven asked. Xabi shrugged.

“If everyone else goes, why not?” He asked. “You?”

“Same. Where else would you be able to get pot brownies without making them yourself?” He asked, smirking. Xabi laughed.   
The Van Gogh Museum holds over two hundred paintings, drawings and letters that Van Gogh wrote and received. Everything from his early work to his Auvers period. Xabi wanted to look at it all. He walked slowly around, looking at Van Gogh’s self portraits, his portraits, his still lifes, and his landscapes. Xabi’s favorite period was his Saint-Rémy period. When Steven asked why Xabi’s only answer was a wide eyed expression. After a moment, he answered.

 

“I can’t explain.” He whispered. “I just recently found him.” Xabi stated. “I mean, found his work.” He corrected himself as he looked at ‘The Garden of Saint Paul’s Hospital’. “I think it is because of the feelings it evokes?” He said it as a question but Steven was sure that he hadn’t meant it to sound like one. “I am not making any sense.” Xabi stated, tearing his eyes away from the painting.

“Yeah, you do.” Steven stated as he read about the painting, about how it ‘gives a rise a little to a feeling of anxiety’, as Van Gogh wrote in a letter to Emile Bernard in November of 1899. He sighed. Xabi continued to look at Steven as he read.

“You-” Xabi stopped himself. He was acting emotional for no reason. Well, there was a reason, but he didn’t want to act this way. He wanted to have fun. There is no time.

“What?” Steven asked, a small smile played across his face. “You want to continue around? I think we still have another area, right?” Steven asked. Xabi nodded, not finishing his sentence. He didn’t know what he had wanted to say, anyways.

By the time they were both satisfied that they had seen every work in the museum, they left for their hotel. Steven called Jamie, asking what he was up to.

“Me and the lads are at a coffee shop.” Jamie said. Steven could feel Jamie’s smile from where he was, sensing it by how he sounded.

“And how are the brownies?” Steven asked. Xabi’s eye brow cocked upwards as he looked at the time, barely past two. They had spent four hours staring at Van Gogh.

“Amazing. Get the fuck over here.” Jamie spoke.

“Well where the fuck are you?”

“A place called the... fuck what is it... Pirata where are we?” Jamie asked him. “Ah, lad. We’re at Greenhouse Lounge.”

“Of all the places you pick a place called Greenhouse Lounge?”

“It was either that or Conscious Dreams.”

“I feel like you made the better choice.” Steven said, laughing. “We’ll find you.”

“The street is like... Harlem-er. Harlem?” Jamie started to explain but ended up just hanging up the phone instead. Steven looked at Xabi, who was messing around on his iPhone.

“I found it.” Xabi stated. “It isn’t far from the hotel, really.”

When they got there, they found Jamie, Pirata, Pepe, Martin Kelly, Daniel Agger, and Martin Skrtel were sitting on a couple of couches with a table in the middle, dazed. There were hieroglyphs painted on the walls and a giant fish tank in the floor with koi in it. Pirata stared at the two boys for a bit before his eyes widened and he suddenly got up to go the counter, as if on a mission. He bought half a gram of AK-47 and put it down in front of Xabi.

“You would think you would try something else.” Xabi said, after he had asked what they were smoking. Pirata flicked him off, then handed him the bong. Xabi and Steven both took a hit, sitting down on a couch. Xabi rested his head on Steven’s shoulder, and sighed. It wasn’t long before he felt the effects. It knocked him on his ass, basically.

“One day for Amsterdam and we are spending it laying on couches.” Martin Kelly stated with his eyes closed. Everyone nodded silently. Xabi’s hand slid down Steven’s arm, finding his fingers and interlocking them with his. He just wanted to stay here for a while.

“Well,” Jamie said, somewhat delayed. “We have been fucking traveling for how long now? I say we can just sit.” He said, taking another hit.

“This is Amsterdam, we had to.” Daniel Agger stated. Martin Skrtel nodded his head, agreeing.

Pepe got up to use the restroom upstairs. When he returned, he had a flyer in his hand.

“Guys.” He paused. “Guys.” He said with more intent. Only Martin Skrtel looked up. “Tonight.” Another pause. “We are going to a rave.” He stated, showing them the flyer for a rave nearby. Pirata clapped.

“Fuck yeah we are.” He said, grabbing the flyer and looking at it. “In a fucking Silo!” Xabi opened his eyes lazily, looking at Steven.

“What are we doing?” He asked.

“Going to a rave in Amsterdam.” Steven said, shrugging. “I think I need to nap first.” Xabi nodded.

“A nap, mmm.”

They all decided to nap, majorly, and find food. Xabi and Martin Skrtel stopped at a store and bought whatever they could carry, hoping it would satiate their hunger. Xabi slept for a few hours, waking up with his hand in a bag of doritos. It was dark out, and by the time he fully woke up and checked his phone, he realized that Steven had called him three times. He rang him up as he washed his hands, putting the phone between his cheek and shoulder.

“There you are, lad.” Steven said. Xabi could tell he was walking. “Are you and Martin still at the hotel?” He asked.

“Yeah, just woke up.” Xabi said, his voice scratchy. “I guess I caught up on my sleep I was missing from last night.” He said, thinking about how he wasted one of his remaining days with Steven by napping.

“Good, Jamie and I are on our way back there now. We’ve been walking around, went to dinner... I tried to call.”

“I was dead to the world.” Xabi said as he leaned against the bathroom counter. “Have fun?”

“Yeah, guess who went to the live sex show?” Steven asked.

“... Andy?”

“And John, and Gareth.”

“Gareth went?!”

“Yeah, we told them about the rave, they wanted sex. Pepe said he would rather get high, then find sex.” Steven sounded amused. Xabi bit his lip, smiling.

“I want sex.” Xabi said, rather nonchalantly. Steven laughed.

“That can be arranged.” Xabi hummed at Steven’s answer. “We’re almost back, but we are leaving soon. Get ready.” Xabi pouted. It looked like he wouldn’t be getting what he wanted, yet.

“I’ll be ready.” He said, then hung up.

The Graan-Silo was an abandoned warehouse, or seemed to be by the deconstruction of the place as they approached it. They paid, and got in without a problem. Pirata and Raul tried to find Ecstasy, but were having trouble. Martin Skrtel rolled his eyes, looked around, and within moments showed up with a pill for each of them. Xabi took both his and Steven’s in his hand, which made Steven tilt his head.

“What?-”

“Hold on.” Xabi said, smiling. He put a pill in his mouth then grabbed onto Steven, crashing their mouths together as he passed him the pill with his tongue. Xabi then broke the kiss, taking his own pill. Steven stared at him, then around them. Their group didn’t say a word. Steven had never done E, and his heart was racing. He didn’t know what to expect or how he would feel, but Xabi was there, with him. “We’re going to go up together.” Xabi said, kissing him again.   
“Do I swallow it?” Steven asked. The taste was horrible. Xabi shook his head.

“Put it under your tongue, let it dissolve into your bloodstream.” He said, then handed Steven gum. “You’ll want this later.” He smiled, kissing him again. Steven could tell that Xabi was excited, that he wanted the high to come. The anticipation that Steven saw in Xabi’s eyes made him calm down. Xabi would be with him. The music filled their ears as they waited for the drug to kick in.

Once it did, though, Steven felt incredible. As the music climbed, so did he, his body moving without thinking, wanting more drums, loving the beat and feel of Xabi next to him filling his senses. Their hands were in the air, Daniel Agger was next to them with Martin Kelly, their hands on each other. Light and sound mixed together, higher higher they climbed as the music changed. Needing to jump, needing to feel and never stop moving. Somehow, Xabi’s mouth found his and fireworks went off in Steven’s mind. He didn’t know kissing could be this explosive. The music shifted, going down and down and Steven wanted to sit. He pulled Xabi to an old couch as his head spun.

Sweat, drugs, sex and music were all that mattered now. Cesc had gotten his hands on paint from no one was sure where, and insisted on painting Iker. David Silva was by the speakers, grinding against them while David Villa was on him, their eyes closed, feeling nothing and everything all at once. Once Pirata came up, he noticed how dilated Raul’s eyes were and kept saying ‘You’re up! Your eyes are so big, are mine? Am I?’ while Wayne Rooney made friends with a group of people he had never met before.

Steven sat down first, then Xabi followed by putting his legs in Steven’s lap as he sat down next to him. Xabi’s hands were on Steven’s shirt, loving the feel of the fabric and skin as they stared at each other. Talking about everything and nothing seemed to be at the forefront of their minds. An overwhelming urge to spill their minds out in words filled their very being.

“What are you most scared of?” Steven asked Xabi. Their hands were on each other, they couldn’t tear their eyes away, both wide and blown.

“Being alone. But I’m not alone so I have nothing to be scared of.” He said without thinking. There was no need for thinking, no need for filters. Steven cared, he cared about Steven. His feelings were magnified by one million and he wanted to pick Steven’s brain. “What is your favorite thing to do to me?” Xabi asked, his fingers interlocking with Steven’s. Steven’s heart was racing as he smiled, his mind free from restraints.

“I like pinning you down.” He said, smirking when Xabi pulled Steven’s hand closer to his crotch. Their mouths found each other with ease. Steven wanted to taste Xabi for the rest of the night, he didn’t want to breathe, he only wanted this. The music flooded his brain as they kissed, thoughts disappeared as his tongue danced with Xabi’s as they explored each other’s mouths. A sense of overwhelming filled him as they stopped. They both sat there, breathing and catching their breath.

“I have to take a piss.” Steven whispered. Xabi nodded.

“I have to dance.” He stated, as if it really was that way, that he really did have to dance as much as Steven had to use the restroom. Steven understood.

“I will find you.” He said as they got up. Xabi found Daniel Agger and Martin Kelly, along with Martin Skrtel and Jamie Carragher dancing and jumping in time to the bass drum.

Steven, while in the bathroom, found Sergio. His breath caught in his throat when Sergio stood next to him. Sergio was up, just like Steven was, his pupils dilated. For a second, Steven wasn’t sure he wouldn’t be able to push Sergio away if he started something with him. He liked everyone, wanted to touch and feel and taste them. Sergio smiled, nodding his head as if he understood.

“You two... you are good for him.” Sergio stated. Steven nodded, agreeing.

“Yeah, he is-”

“He went through a lot because of me and I am sorry.” Sergio said, cutting Steven off. Steven’s brow furrowed.

“You need to tell him. I think he would want to hear it.”

“He doesn’t want to hear it.” Sergio said, zipping himself up then washing his hands. Steven followed. Steven nodded his head, repeatedly.

“Yes, yes he does. I know he does.” Sergio grinned, leaning in and kissing Steven on the cheek. It felt like fire on Steven skin. When they walked back out the music was climbing once more, louder and louder up and up. Steven found Xabi and wrapped his arms around him. Xabi had his eyes closed as he moved to the music. His mouth was on Steven’s neck as their bodies moved together, hands everywhere as they trailed up and down their bodies. The music came back down, evening out and they slowed, their mouths finding each other again as it slowly climbed back up. They tore apart as the music hit the top, the bass dictating their rhythm. Time was void here, nothing mattered but the noise, the music that they felt throughout their bodies. Their hearts beat in time to the music.

As a group, they left. They never felt closer to each other than they did as they walked to the hotel, even when Raul decided to take a swim in the canal. Pirata fished him out, both of them soaking wet. Pepe, who showed up with Andy and Gareth later than the rest, had his arms around Steven and Xabi as they walked. He told them about his and the boys’ earlier escapades before the rave which Steven and Xabi found themselves completely enraptured by the tale of the live sex show. When they got to the hotel, Pepe and Jamie drummed on the elevator walls as they took it up, which made everyone bob their heads in time with it, loving the beat as if it was one of the songs they had just heard. To them, it sounded like it and that was all that mattered.

Everyone brought pillows and blankets out into the hallway, not wanting to be apart. They wanted to stay a group, sitting close together as they all talked. Raul couldn’t stop talking, and talking saying he would never fall asleep, that he wouldn’t come down, not now and not soon. Pirata told him to shut up and feel the blanket that he covered he and Raul with. Within ten minutes, he was the first to pass out, dead to the world.

Steven and Xabi are talking to themselves, while in the group. Voices buzzing all around them.

“Stevie, I just want... I lo-” Xabi was cut off by Wayne Rooney

“Xabi, Stevie, come back. You two are over there in a world of your own.” Steven tears his eyes away from Xabi, his mind reeling from what almost was said. They had just been talking about favorite movies, Tarantino and Simon Pegg flicks, Edgar Wright’s montages, and one liners. Xabi nodded, coming back to the groups conversation and adding in his two cents. Steven remained quiet, retreating into his own mind. Xabi noticed Steven’s vacant expression and cupped Steven’s face in his hand.

“Stevie, Stevie come back to us,” soothingly, rubbing his thumbs across Steven’s cheeks. Steven’s eyes focused on Xabi, he shaked his head slightly, then was with them once more.

Everyone wanted to pass around a spliff, smoke as they came down, to even it out. Xabi pulled Steven towards Steven’s room, since the group was going into his and Skrtel’s. Jamie went with the group, Xabi wasn’t worried that they would be walked in on now.

As soon as the door was shut, Xabi started stripping down to his briefs. Steven followed Xabi’s lead. Xabi crawled onto the bed, burrowing under the blankets. Steven did the same, loving the feel of the sheets against his skin, of how Xabi felt next to him as their legs intertwined. Xabi lay practically on top of him, his fingers raking through Steven’s hair as he kissed his chest lightly, ghosting across his collarbone, his cheek with barely there kisses that had Steven’s chest heaving from how good it felt, intense.

“How are you feeling?” Xabi asked, his eyes still as wide as they were hours before.

“I love it, I love how it feels... you feel amazing.” He whispered. Xabi’s lips were hovering over his now, his body stilling.

“I need to kiss you.” Xabi said, his lips already touching Steven’s as he said it. Steven lifted his head so their lips meet, finally. They breathed in the kiss, exploring each others mouths with deep intent. Xabi’s thighs tightened as he placed his hand against Steven’s chest, pushing himself up off of Steven.

“I love how you feel against me.” Xabi said, his hand trailing up and down Steven’s chest. Steven hummed as he lay there, staring up at Xabi. “I love how you listen to me,” he whispered as his lips met Steven’s again. “I love you.” Xabi said, his lips against Steven’s skin. Steven gasped, grabbing onto Xabi’s arms, flipping him onto his back, his hands ghosting over Xabi’s body, over the marks he left.

“I love you, too.” He whispered, his eyes wide and his mouth open. His hand rested on Xabi’s chest. He could feel Xabi’s heart beat, fast and in time with his. Steven’s head rest on the pillow next to Xabi’s, his hand remaining as he closed his eyes. Sleep found them both easily.


	16. Chapter 16

Steven woke up with his arms around his pillow and a crick in his neck. Jamie was still passed out next to him. He reached for his phone, it read that it was just past seven in the morning. He groaned, shifting the pillow so that he could lay his head back on it comfortably. He noticed he had a few texts, all of which were from Xabi.

‘I can’t sleep.’ was sent a little over an hour after they arrived at the hotel. Then ‘Martin snores’ forty minutes later. The final text read ‘You’ve ruined me’. Steven’s brow furrowed. How had he ruined Xabi?

‘What do you mean, ruined? Sergio is the ruiner of things, remember?’ He hit send, then closed his eyes. Seven AM was too early to do anything. He was almost back asleep when he felt his phone vibrate.

‘Why are you up?’ Xabi asked. Almost immediately afterwards he sent another ‘and I was delirious, it was four am’. Steven cocked an eyebrow at that cover up.

‘Can’t sleep’ Steven answered back. ‘And don’t lie’ immediately following the previous text.

“Go in the bloody bathroom and tap on your fucking phone, lad.” Jamie’s voice said, muffled by the pillows, not moving. Instead, Steven went out on the balcony, sitting and enjoying the coolness of morning. It would get hotter as the sun rose, but for now: it was cool.

‘You should come up to my room’ Xabi suggested. Steven actually thought about it.

‘Martin could wake up’

‘He would sleep through a monsoon’

‘How about we go to breakfast?’ Steven suggested. He wanted to see Xabi. It felt weird, not waking up next to him.

‘Meet in the lobby in twenty’ Xabi answered. Steven got up, and went into the bathroom for a quick shower. When he emerged, Jamie had turned over and was snoring. Steven stood for a moment, wondering if he should ask Jamie along or if he should just let him sleep. He decided that letting Jamie sleep would be the best plan and got dressed. By the time he made it down to the lobby it was nearing eight. Xabi was sitting on a couch on the phone. When Steven walked up he realized that Xabi was talking in Spanish, which he hadn’t really heard much of since he met him. He sat down next to him, and closed his eyes, listening to Xabi talk to who Steven figured would be his family. Xabi mimed the word “sorry” as he nodded his head and then said the word “si” over and over again. Steven smiled. It sounded like the conversations with his grandmother on the phone, he never got a word in edge wise.

By the time Xabi got off the phone, Steven had drifted back to sleep, his head resting on Xabi’s. shoulder.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to call them, I didn’t realize they would want everyone in the family to talk to me.” Xabi said, shaking Steven awake. Steven hummed, lifting his head up. “I didn’t mean to keep you.”

“‘s fine.” Steven said, stifling a yawn. “Breakfast?” He asked. Xabi grinned, nodding.

“Then I was thinking about taking a taxi and going to the Van Gogh Museum...” Xabi trailed off as if afraid Steven would say no. Steven took a moment to realize that Xabi was waiting for an answer, waiting for an ‘okay’ from him. Steven shrugged, nodding his head.

“Whatever you want to see, Xabi. You’re the museum go-er. I’ll follow you.” He said, smiling. Xabi had apparently been holding his breath.

“Okay because I really like Van Gogh and I know we have seen a few of his things in the museums that we’ve been to and I just really think it would be neat-”

“Xabi.” Steven stopped him, putting a hand over Xabi’s mouth. He could feel Xabi breath against his hand, which made his eyelids flutter. “You don’t have to explain to me.” He said, his voice soft.

Xabi grinned, nodding his head. Steven dropped his hand, staring at Xabi’s lips. Xabi looked around, seeing that no one was paying attention, and kissed him. Mikel was never one for museums. He thought they were boring. The only thing he ever wanted to do was Xabi. They never went out, they never walked around. Xabi was beginning to realize how much he preferred Steven. How much Steven seemed to actually like him, not just make him feel like a piece of property.

All he was to Mikel was property. Property that he didn’t even want anymore, apparently. A piece of ass, whipped and tied tightly around his finger. Not anymore, though. Steven grabbed Xabi’s hand, dragging him out onto the street, looking around while Xabi plunged deep into his subconscious. His mother told him that Mikel had dropped by the day before, with a box of Xabi’s things he found at his place. Xabi didn’t want any of it. His mother, of course, gushed about how nice Mikel was, how he stayed for a long time talking to her and his father about his plans for university. Xabi bit his lip, he was still waiting to hear where he got into. He applied to so many schools at home and abroad. He looked at Steven, who dropped Xabi’s hand to hail a cab. It was still early in the morning, he supposed, but still... there were people everywhere.

Xabi closed his eyes, thinking about Steven with him in Madrid, or Barcelona. Them on holiday in Ibiza together. Things that he used to think about with Mikel. He wanted Steven there, but there was no time. Two weeks does not make a relationship, less if you count Sergio’s cockblocking. Xabi bit his lip as they got into a cab. Steven told the driver where they wanted to go, they would find a place to eat near the museum. If Steven noticed how quiet Xabi was, he didn’t mention it. Internally, Xabi was at war with himself.

Where would he end up in the fall? His life was up in the air. He didn’t know where Steven had applied, what Steven wanted to do, if he wanted to stay in Liverpool... Xabi looked out the window, sighing. Only a few days, and he was moping, wondering about the future. He didn’t want to do this, he wanted to have fun with Steven while he could. Hearing about Mikel at his family’s house threw him off. He hadn’t been expecting it. Imagining Mikel in his room, seeing if any of his things were still lingering. Xabi grit his teeth, thinking about Mikel searching his things.

It was a short ride, just around ten minutes, and they got off. They took their time walking around, finding a place to sit and eat breakfast.

“What are the chances of Andy going to one of those....” Steven trailed off as he sipped his coffee.

“Live sex shows?” Xabi asked, a cheeky grin appearing across his mouth. Steven nodded, laughing.

“Yeah, one of those.”

“Most definitely.” Xabi stated. “He and John, maybe... I don’t know... I could picture Carra.” He said. Steven’s eyes went wide.

“Carra? You think? I know he... well. He and the lads go to watch girls dance all the time but-”

“It’s not the same.” Xabi stated.

“Have you been to one?” Steven asked. Xabi lifted an eyebrow as he took a sip of his own coffee, then nodded. Steven’s jaw dropped.

“When?” He asked.

“Last summer. I came here with... friends.” He stated. He was with Mikel, yes, but also with friends of theirs.

“And?” Steven asked. Xabi shrugged.

“I mean, I had a boyfriend. He-” Xabi stopped for a moment, thinking of his wording. He never realized how fucked up this was until now. “We didn’t go to a show, per se. He got...”

“He bought a whore while you were there?” Steven asked, his voice crisp and serious. Xabi bit his bottom lip.

“Doesn’t matter now. I don’t have any interest in going to one.” He wanted to change the subject. There was too much Mikel in his brain today and he wanted to get rid of it. He looked at his watch, it was almost ten, when the museum opened.

“How about a hash bar?” Steven asked. Xabi shrugged.

“If everyone else goes, why not?” He asked. “You?”

“Same. Where else would you be able to get pot brownies without making them yourself?” He asked, smirking. Xabi laughed.   
The Van Gogh Museum holds over two hundred paintings, drawings and letters that Van Gogh wrote and received. Everything from his early work to his Auvers period. Xabi wanted to look at it all. He walked slowly around, looking at Van Gogh’s self portraits, his portraits, his still lifes, and his landscapes. Xabi’s favorite period was his Saint-Rémy period. When Steven asked why Xabi’s only answer was a wide eyed expression. After a moment, he answered.

 

“I can’t explain.” He whispered. “I just recently found him.” Xabi stated. “I mean, found his work.” He corrected himself as he looked at ‘The Garden of Saint Paul’s Hospital’. “I think it is because of the feelings it evokes?” He said it as a question but Steven was sure that he hadn’t meant it to sound like one. “I am not making any sense.” Xabi stated, tearing his eyes away from the painting.

“Yeah, you do.” Steven stated as he read about the painting, about how it ‘gives a rise a little to a feeling of anxiety’, as Van Gogh wrote in a letter to Emile Bernard in November of 1899. He sighed. Xabi continued to look at Steven as he read.

“You-” Xabi stopped himself. He was acting emotional for no reason. Well, there was a reason, but he didn’t want to act this way. He wanted to have fun. There is no time.

“What?” Steven asked, a small smile played across his face. “You want to continue around? I think we still have another area, right?” Steven asked. Xabi nodded, not finishing his sentence. He didn’t know what he had wanted to say, anyways.

By the time they were both satisfied that they had seen every work in the museum, they left for their hotel. Steven called Jamie, asking what he was up to.

“Me and the lads are at a coffee shop.” Jamie said. Steven could feel Jamie’s smile from where he was, sensing it by how he sounded.

“And how are the brownies?” Steven asked. Xabi’s eye brow cocked upwards as he looked at the time, barely past two. They had spent four hours staring at Van Gogh.

“Amazing. Get the fuck over here.” Jamie spoke.

“Well where the fuck are you?”

“A place called the... fuck what is it... Pirata where are we?” Jamie asked him. “Ah, lad. We’re at Greenhouse Lounge.”

“Of all the places you pick a place called Greenhouse Lounge?”

“It was either that or Conscious Dreams.”

“I feel like you made the better choice.” Steven said, laughing. “We’ll find you.”

“The street is like... Harlem-er. Harlem?” Jamie started to explain but ended up just hanging up the phone instead. Steven looked at Xabi, who was messing around on his iPhone.

“I found it.” Xabi stated. “It isn’t far from the hotel, really.”

When they got there, they found Jamie, Pirata, Pepe, Martin Kelly, Daniel Agger, and Martin Skrtel were sitting on a couple of couches with a table in the middle, dazed. There were hieroglyphs painted on the walls and a giant fish tank in the floor with koi in it. Pirata stared at the two boys for a bit before his eyes widened and he suddenly got up to go the counter, as if on a mission. He bought half a gram of AK-47 and put it down in front of Xabi.

“You would think you would try something else.” Xabi said, after he had asked what they were smoking. Pirata flicked him off, then handed him the bong. Xabi and Steven both took a hit, sitting down on a couch. Xabi rested his head on Steven’s shoulder, and sighed. It wasn’t long before he felt the effects. It knocked him on his ass, basically.

“One day for Amsterdam and we are spending it laying on couches.” Martin Kelly stated with his eyes closed. Everyone nodded silently. Xabi’s hand slid down Steven’s arm, finding his fingers and interlocking them with his. He just wanted to stay here for a while.

“Well,” Jamie said, somewhat delayed. “We have been fucking traveling for how long now? I say we can just sit.” He said, taking another hit.

“This is Amsterdam, we had to.” Daniel Agger stated. Martin Skrtel nodded his head, agreeing.

Pepe got up to use the restroom upstairs. When he returned, he had a flyer in his hand.

“Guys.” He paused. “Guys.” He said with more intent. Only Martin Skrtel looked up. “Tonight.” Another pause. “We are going to a rave.” He stated, showing them the flyer for a rave nearby. Pirata clapped.

“Fuck yeah we are.” He said, grabbing the flyer and looking at it. “In a fucking Silo!” Xabi opened his eyes lazily, looking at Steven.

“What are we doing?” He asked.

“Going to a rave in Amsterdam.” Steven said, shrugging. “I think I need to nap first.” Xabi nodded.

“A nap, mmm.”

They all decided to nap, majorly, and find food. Xabi and Martin Skrtel stopped at a store and bought whatever they could carry, hoping it would satiate their hunger. Xabi slept for a few hours, waking up with his hand in a bag of doritos. It was dark out, and by the time he fully woke up and checked his phone, he realized that Steven had called him three times. He rang him up as he washed his hands, putting the phone between his cheek and shoulder.

“There you are, lad.” Steven said. Xabi could tell he was walking. “Are you and Martin still at the hotel?” He asked.

“Yeah, just woke up.” Xabi said, his voice scratchy. “I guess I caught up on my sleep I was missing from last night.” He said, thinking about how he wasted one of his remaining days with Steven by napping.

“Good, Jamie and I are on our way back there now. We’ve been walking around, went to dinner... I tried to call.”

“I was dead to the world.” Xabi said as he leaned against the bathroom counter. “Have fun?”

“Yeah, guess who went to the live sex show?” Steven asked.

“... Andy?”

“And John, and Gareth.”

“Gareth went?!”

“Yeah, we told them about the rave, they wanted sex. Pepe said he would rather get high, then find sex.” Steven sounded amused. Xabi bit his lip, smiling.

“I want sex.” Xabi said, rather nonchalantly. Steven laughed.

“That can be arranged.” Xabi hummed at Steven’s answer. “We’re almost back, but we are leaving soon. Get ready.” Xabi pouted. It looked like he wouldn’t be getting what he wanted, yet.

“I’ll be ready.” He said, then hung up.

The Graan-Silo was an abandoned warehouse, or seemed to be by the deconstruction of the place as they approached it. They paid, and got in without a problem. Pirata and Raul tried to find Ecstasy, but were having trouble. Martin Skrtel rolled his eyes, looked around, and within moments showed up with a pill for each of them. Xabi took both his and Steven’s in his hand, which made Steven tilt his head.

“What?-”

“Hold on.” Xabi said, smiling. He put a pill in his mouth then grabbed onto Steven, crashing their mouths together as he passed him the pill with his tongue. Xabi then broke the kiss, taking his own pill. Steven stared at him, then around them. Their group didn’t say a word. Steven had never done E, and his heart was racing. He didn’t know what to expect or how he would feel, but Xabi was there, with him. “We’re going to go up together.” Xabi said, kissing him again.   
“Do I swallow it?” Steven asked. The taste was horrible. Xabi shook his head.

“Put it under your tongue, let it dissolve into your bloodstream.” He said, then handed Steven gum. “You’ll want this later.” He smiled, kissing him again. Steven could tell that Xabi was excited, that he wanted the high to come. The anticipation that Steven saw in Xabi’s eyes made him calm down. Xabi would be with him. The music filled their ears as they waited for the drug to kick in.

Once it did, though, Steven felt incredible. As the music climbed, so did he, his body moving without thinking, wanting more drums, loving the beat and feel of Xabi next to him filling his senses. Their hands were in the air, Daniel Agger was next to them with Martin Kelly, their hands on each other. Light and sound mixed together, higher higher they climbed as the music changed. Needing to jump, needing to feel and never stop moving. Somehow, Xabi’s mouth found his and fireworks went off in Steven’s mind. He didn’t know kissing could be this explosive. The music shifted, going down and down and Steven wanted to sit. He pulled Xabi to an old couch as his head spun.

Sweat, drugs, sex and music were all that mattered now. Cesc had gotten his hands on paint from no one was sure where, and insisted on painting Iker. David Silva was by the speakers, grinding against them while David Villa was on him, their eyes closed, feeling nothing and everything all at once. Once Pirata came up, he noticed how dilated Raul’s eyes were and kept saying ‘You’re up! Your eyes are so big, are mine? Am I?’ while Wayne Rooney made friends with a group of people he had never met before.

Steven sat down first, then Xabi followed by putting his legs in Steven’s lap as he sat down next to him. Xabi’s hands were on Steven’s shirt, loving the feel of the fabric and skin as they stared at each other. Talking about everything and nothing seemed to be at the forefront of their minds. An overwhelming urge to spill their minds out in words filled their very being.

“What are you most scared of?” Steven asked Xabi. Their hands were on each other, they couldn’t tear their eyes away, both wide and blown.

“Being alone. But I’m not alone so I have nothing to be scared of.” He said without thinking. There was no need for thinking, no need for filters. Steven cared, he cared about Steven. His feelings were magnified by one million and he wanted to pick Steven’s brain. “What is your favorite thing to do to me?” Xabi asked, his fingers interlocking with Steven’s. Steven’s heart was racing as he smiled, his mind free from restraints.

“I like pinning you down.” He said, smirking when Xabi pulled Steven’s hand closer to his crotch. Their mouths found each other with ease. Steven wanted to taste Xabi for the rest of the night, he didn’t want to breathe, he only wanted this. The music flooded his brain as they kissed, thoughts disappeared as his tongue danced with Xabi’s as they explored each other’s mouths. A sense of overwhelming filled him as they stopped. They both sat there, breathing and catching their breath.

“I have to take a piss.” Steven whispered. Xabi nodded.

“I have to dance.” He stated, as if it really was that way, that he really did have to dance as much as Steven had to use the restroom. Steven understood.

“I will find you.” He said as they got up. Xabi found Daniel Agger and Martin Kelly, along with Martin Skrtel and Jamie Carragher dancing and jumping in time to the bass drum.

Steven, while in the bathroom, found Sergio. His breath caught in his throat when Sergio stood next to him. Sergio was up, just like Steven was, his pupils dilated. For a second, Steven wasn’t sure he wouldn’t be able to push Sergio away if he started something with him. He liked everyone, wanted to touch and feel and taste them. Sergio smiled, nodding his head as if he understood.

“You two... you are good for him.” Sergio stated. Steven nodded, agreeing.

“Yeah, he is-”

“He went through a lot because of me and I am sorry.” Sergio said, cutting Steven off. Steven’s brow furrowed.

“You need to tell him. I think he would want to hear it.”

“He doesn’t want to hear it.” Sergio said, zipping himself up then washing his hands. Steven followed. Steven nodded his head, repeatedly.

“Yes, yes he does. I know he does.” Sergio grinned, leaning in and kissing Steven on the cheek. It felt like fire on Steven skin. When they walked back out the music was climbing once more, louder and louder up and up. Steven found Xabi and wrapped his arms around him. Xabi had his eyes closed as he moved to the music. His mouth was on Steven’s neck as their bodies moved together, hands everywhere as they trailed up and down their bodies. The music came back down, evening out and they slowed, their mouths finding each other again as it slowly climbed back up. They tore apart as the music hit the top, the bass dictating their rhythm. Time was void here, nothing mattered but the noise, the music that they felt throughout their bodies. Their hearts beat in time to the music.

As a group, they left. They never felt closer to each other than they did as they walked to the hotel, even when Raul decided to take a swim in the canal. Pirata fished him out, both of them soaking wet. Pepe, who showed up with Andy and Gareth later than the rest, had his arms around Steven and Xabi as they walked. He told them about his and the boys’ earlier escapades before the rave which Steven and Xabi found themselves completely enraptured by the tale of the live sex show. When they got to the hotel, Pepe and Jamie drummed on the elevator walls as they took it up, which made everyone bob their heads in time with it, loving the beat as if it was one of the songs they had just heard. To them, it sounded like it and that was all that mattered.

Everyone brought pillows and blankets out into the hallway, not wanting to be apart. They wanted to stay a group, sitting close together as they all talked. Raul couldn’t stop talking, and talking saying he would never fall asleep, that he wouldn’t come down, not now and not soon. Pirata told him to shut up and feel the blanket that he covered he and Raul with. Within ten minutes, he was the first to pass out, dead to the world.

Steven and Xabi are talking to themselves, while in the group. Voices buzzing all around them.

“Stevie, I just want... I lo-” Xabi was cut off by Wayne Rooney

“Xabi, Stevie, come back. You two are over there in a world of your own.” Steven tears his eyes away from Xabi, his mind reeling from what almost was said. They had just been talking about favorite movies, Tarantino and Simon Pegg flicks, Edgar Wright’s montages, and one liners. Xabi nodded, coming back to the groups conversation and adding in his two cents. Steven remained quiet, retreating into his own mind. Xabi noticed Steven’s vacant expression and cupped Steven’s face in his hand.

“Stevie, Stevie come back to us,” soothingly, rubbing his thumbs across Steven’s cheeks. Steven’s eyes focused on Xabi, he shaked his head slightly, then was with them once more.

Everyone wanted to pass around a spliff, smoke as they came down, to even it out. Xabi pulled Steven towards Steven’s room, since the group was going into his and Skrtel’s. Jamie went with the group, Xabi wasn’t worried that they would be walked in on now.

As soon as the door was shut, Xabi started stripping down to his briefs. Steven followed Xabi’s lead. Xabi crawled onto the bed, burrowing under the blankets. Steven did the same, loving the feel of the sheets against his skin, of how Xabi felt next to him as their legs intertwined. Xabi lay practically on top of him, his fingers raking through Steven’s hair as he kissed his chest lightly, ghosting across his collarbone, his cheek with barely there kisses that had Steven’s chest heaving from how good it felt, intense.

“How are you feeling?” Xabi asked, his eyes still as wide as they were hours before.

“I love it, I love how it feels... you feel amazing.” He whispered. Xabi’s lips were hovering over his now, his body stilling.

“I need to kiss you.” Xabi said, his lips already touching Steven’s as he said it. Steven lifted his head so their lips meet, finally. They breathed in the kiss, exploring each others mouths with deep intent. Xabi’s thighs tightened as he placed his hand against Steven’s chest, pushing himself up off of Steven.

“I love how you feel against me.” Xabi said, his hand trailing up and down Steven’s chest. Steven hummed as he lay there, staring up at Xabi. “I love how you listen to me,” he whispered as his lips met Steven’s again. “I love you.” Xabi said, his lips against Steven’s skin. Steven gasped, grabbing onto Xabi’s arms, flipping him onto his back, his hands ghosting over Xabi’s body, over the marks he left.

“I love you, too.” He whispered, his eyes wide and his mouth open. His hand rested on Xabi’s chest. He could feel Xabi’s heart beat, fast and in time with his. Steven’s head rest on the pillow next to Xabi’s, his hand remaining as he closed his eyes. Sleep found them both easily.


	17. Chapter 17

Xabi woke up gradually. He remembered waking up a few times, his eyes opening slightly to see Steven next to him, only to fall back asleep again. He was curled in a ball when he finally awoke, his chin tucked against his chest and his arms wrapped around his legs that were pulled up against his body. He licked his lips, they were dry and cracked. His mouth felt like cotton and his mind was fuzzy. He heard a door shut and he moved his head, Steven came into the room with a towel wrapped around his waist. He looked at Xabi, and blushed as he averted his eyes. Xabi unfolded himself, stretching as he lay across the bed in only his boxer-briefs. Xabi wiped the sleep from his eyes, and yawned. He didn’t want to get up, not yet. He felt hazy, which wasn’t surprising. He watched Steven change, dropping his towel to the floor and putting on clean clothes. Xabi was running out, they hadn’t done laundry. He was contemplating just buying new clothes to wear for the remainder of the trip, which wasn’t long. Xabi pouted audibly, stretching again as he closed his eyes once more. He felt the bed dip down and his body immediately reacted, rolling closer as his arms lazily draped over Steven’s waist. Steven’s fingers raked through Xabi’s hair, making Xabi moan at the contact. He had a minor headache and compared to last night his senses were dulled, hazy.

“If you don’t get up soon you won’t get to do anything before we get on that ferry.” Steven said, his voice calm and low. Xabi opened his eyes, lifting himself up by an elbow and looked at Steven.

“Why? What time is it?” He asked.

“It’s three.” Steven stated. Xabi’s jaw dropped. He knew it would be past noon, but... “The lads have gone to the Heineken Experience... brewery thing. I didn’t want to wake you.”

“You could have gone.” Xabi said, feeling guilty for holding Steven back. Steven shook his head.

“No, I just got out of bed meself.” Steven said, his voice quiet.

“What’s wrong?” Xabi asked, laying on his back, a hand wrapping around Steven’s wrist as he leaned on the bed. Steven shrugged slightly, not looking at Xabi directly. Xabi’s heart was beating in his chest. His thumb rubbed circles over Steven’s wrist, he waited for a real answer.

“Do you remember everything from last night?” Steven asked. Xabi’s breath caught in his throat. Steven was afraid Xabi had forgotten what they said, what they shared. Xabi nodded.

“Of course. I remember the words, the tastes, the sounds, the feel of everything.” He stated plainly. “Do you?” He asked, knowing full well that Steven did too. Everything had been heightened, especially feelings and emotions. Unlike when they were drunk, they remembered everything. Steven nodded.

“So you, did you mean-”

“Yes.” Xabi stated immediately, sitting up. “I don’t lie, especially when on E.” Xabi said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood which was spiraling. Steven’s shoulders moved as he gave a light laugh.

“I didn’t lie either.”

“I word vomited a bit.” Xabi said, scooting closer to Steven. Steven laughed, for real this time. In one fluid motion Xabi was straddling Steven and pushing him onto his back. “You’re officially not allowed to over analyze last night.” Xabi stated. Steven’s eyebrows rose.

“Oh, yeah?” He asked, his hands grasping at Xabi’s waist, his thumb pressing against a mark just above his briefs.

“Serious. Now, we have only a few hours left in Amsterdam. What should we do?” Xabi asked. Steven shrugged. Xabi’s hands were resting on his chest and he was having difficulty with thinking.

“I don’t know but if you want to go out and do something you should probably get off of me.” Steven said, his voice pained. Xabi laughed, rolling off of him. Steven’s eyes didn’t leave Xabi’s body as he moved.

“Alright, I am going to shower... you think of something to do.” Steven started to protest but Xabi cut him off. “No buts, you choose.” He said, going into the bathroom and turning the shower on. Steven stayed laying down on the bed for a minute, thinking. He wanted to stay with Xabi. He thought about going in and telling Xabi bollocks and they weren’t leaving and they would stay in and fuck until they had to leave. Leave. They were leaving Amsterdam. Steven shut his eyes, letting his mind take over as feelings and emotions washed over him. He felt a swelling in his chest as he thought about last night, as he thought about how little time they had left. He huffed, rolling off the bed and over to the balcony. He looked out and down at the street below. People were walking, biking, eating...

The shower stopped and within minutes Xabi appeared with a towel wrapped around his waist, hanging low.

“Did you decide?” He asked as he pulled his clothes back on. Clean clothes were in he and Skrtel’s room. Xabi’s eyes widened, then he laughed.

“What?” Steven asked.

“I don’t have my key card.” Xabi said, pulling his jeans up and buttoning them. “I can’t change.” He pouted, bringing his shirt up to his nose, then making a face.

“You can wear one of my shirts.” Steven offered. Xabi grinned.

“Thanks.” He said, discarding his shirt from yesterday and bent over Steven’s luggage, looking for a clean shirt. He pulled it over his head and was immediately engulfed by Steven. It smelled like him. All blood rushed to Xabi’s crotch as he sighed. It was a simple t-shirt, but Xabi loved it. He smirked when he thought about how Steven most likely wouldn’t be getting this shirt back, not when -- well. Not when they didn’t have much time left together.

“I know that look. That is my favorite shirt, that. Don’t even think about it.” Steven said, laughing. Xabi stuck his tongue out and checked his jean pockets for his wallet and phone. “And I decided we are renting bikes and grabbing a bite to eat.” He stated, standing up.

“Bikes?” Xabi asked.

“Yeah you can rent them for a few hours here.” Steven supplied as kissed Xabi. “Did you use my mouthwash?” Steven asked. Xabi nodded, blushing.

“Well I can’t get into my room...” He trailed off. Steven laughed, kissing him again as his hands cupped Xabi’s face. Xabi smelled like him, it was intoxicating.

Renting bikes was easy, riding around the city and finding a park was easy. So was laying in the grass and staring up at the sky as they ate snacks and got ice cream from a shop. They stayed away from coffee shop, and ate at a cafe instead. They ran into Alvaro Arbeloa and Raul Albiol who had apparently had gone to see a movie.

“Why see a movie?” Xabi asked, confused.

“It was dark.”

“Light is a little much right now.” Alvaro and Raul said, their eyes squinting. Xabi looked at Steven whose eyes also were barely open. Xabi’s sunglasses were in his bag, in his hotel room. Xabi looked at his phone, seeing the time. It was nearing five.

“We have to get back, we’re leaving soon.” Xabi said. They returned the bikes, rushing up to their rooms to grab their things. Martin Skrtel was in Xabi’s room, luckily, and he shoved everything into his suitcase after changing jeans and underwear. He kept Steven’s shirt on, though.

They took the train from Amsterdam Centraal to the Hook of Holland where they would board the Stenaline Ferry. The train ride itself was an hour and a half long where Xabi was cornered by Pepe and Esteban who wanted to know what he had been up to.

“So, you didn’t stick around last night.” Esteban egged Xabi on. Xabi looked at him dully. “Come on, spill.”

“Spill what? I had already had a few hits at the coffee shop. I wasn’t in the mood-”

“Bullshit. You always come down with some spliff.” Esteban goaded. Xabi sighed. It was true, he did like to come down with pot. It evened it out, somehow. But he had been fine with Steven. Esteban could read it all over his face.

“You just wanted your hands all over him instead.”

“So? I love how skin feels when I am high.” Xabi said, sounding defensive. Pepe raised an eyebrow at him.

“Xabi, we just want-”

“I know.” Xabi said, sighing and looking down at Steven’s shirt. Steven wasn’t sitting near them, he had been dragged to sit with Jamie, Daniel, and Martin Skrtel. Martin Kelly was passed out on the floor between them. “Did you guys hear from your parents yet, about where you got in?” Xabi asked. Pepe and Esteban shook their heads. “I just want to know where I am going to end up.” Xabi stated.

“Why?” Pepe asked. “I mean, has something changed? Universidad Autonoma de Madrid is your top choice, right?”

“Then Barcelona.” Esteban added in. Xabi sighed, and nodded.

“I mean I applied to a lot of places: UAM Madrid, Barcelona, University College London, Universidad de Granada, University of Glasgow...”

“We get it, you are going somewhere awesome.” Esteban said, rolling his eyes. “Are you saying that you would rather go to like... Glasgow rather than be in Spain?”

“What about your family?” Pepe asked. Xabi shrugged, and looked out the window.

“I don’t know.”

“Maybe you should stop worrying. We aren’t supposed to hear from anyone until after we get back from holiday.”

“Yeah, stop thinking about it.” Pepe offered.

“What does this have to do about you and Steven sneaking away again?” Esteban asked. Xabi glared at him.

“Nothing, really. Just thinking about how we are going to be back in Spain soon-”

“Well, you’re ruining my good mood.” Pepe said, grinning. Xabi stuck his tongue out. “Stop thinking so much about the future. Enjoy your time here.”

“Live in the now!” Esteban added in. Xabi’s glare caught him straight in the heart, and he smirked as his hands came up to his chest as if Xabi had wounded him.

They piled into the ferry, most taking up reclining seats and chairs in groups. Daniel and Martin got a double room, dishing out the extra cash for alone time. Xabi sat in a seat, Steven followed by sitting next to him. Around them sat Jamie, Alvaro Arbeloa, and Raul Albiol. Alvaro had an eye mask on, and was already fast asleep by the time the ferry even left the dock. He slept with his mouth hanging open, his arms folded across his chest, and his head tilted to the side. Beside him, Raul was busy playing on his PSP. Xabi had his legs crossed and a book in his lap, his elbows rested on his knees as his hands cupped his face. He didn’t want to sleep yet, they wouldn’t be arriving until a little after eight in the morning and it was barely nine pm. Steven, though, was passed out next to him, his chair reclined and an arm draped over his face to block out light. Jamie was reading a football magazine, reading every article in it, taking his time.

Xabi stole glances at Steven between pages, watching the rise and fall of Steven’s chest as Xabi’s fingers flipped the pages. After a while, Xabi’s eyes started to droop. He sat up straighter, fighting off sleep as long as he could. When Jamie was through with his magazine he tossed it to the floor, grabbing Xabi’s attention. Jamie looked at him, worrying his lip for a moment as if thinking about saying something. Xabi realized that he and Jamie hadn’t really talked that much, definitely not one on one.

“Something on your mind?” Xabi asked, his voice hushed. He closed his book, leaving his finger in between the pages he was on. Jamie let out a sigh, and looked at Steven, who hadn’t moved at the noises they were making.

“I am not sure what to say, at this point.” Jamie said truthfully. Xabi frowned.

“What do you mean?” He asked. Butterflies were forming in his stomach at Jamie’s hesitance. Jamie wiped his hand over his face, shrugging.

“I am just worried about the aftermath.” Jamie stated. “But I know you’re probably thinking about that too, yeah? You seem like a nice lad and all but do you realize what-”

“I do realize.” Xabi said, cutting him off. They sat there for a few seconds, just looking at each other. “I know you are protecting him but he doesn’t need it. I am not like... the others.” Xabi said, his voice trailing off at the end. He wasn’t like them, not at all. He wasn’t using Steven. But what they have, whatever is going on... will not last. It can’t. “I know the end of the holiday is coming.” Xabi added. “But that doesn’t mean I am going to stop seeing Steven, not now.” He pulled his finger from his book, setting it in his lap. His fingers raked through his own hair as he looked at Steven again.

“Well there isn’t much I can say to that, now is there?” Jamie said, cracking a smile. Xabi exhaled slowly, then gave Jamie a small smile in return. Without warning, Jamie’s hand went up and knocked Steven in the chest, waking him up. As a reaction Steven’s arm smacked him back, catching him on the arm.

“What the bloody-” Steven said, his eyes squinting. “Fucking arse.” Jamie was laughing. “The fuck was that for?” Steven asked, sitting up. Jamie shrugged.

“You were snoring. It had to stop.”

“Liar, I don’t snore.” Steven said defensively. He got up from his chair, and stretched. He tilted his head slightly towards the bathroom, motioning for Xabi to follow him. “I’ll be back.” He said, then turned and made his way around the corner. Jamie rolled his eyes as Xabi sat there, waiting a few seconds.

“Go on, then,” Jamie said knowingly. Xabi grinned, scrambling to follow Steven to where ever he was headed. Xabi could hear Jamie laughing as he turned the same corner Steven just had. Instead of running into Steven, Xabi ran straight into Sergio. His body tensed, backing up two steps.

“Sorry.” He muttered, his hands gripping onto the railing that was along the wall. Sergio’s eyes raked over him for only a second, but Xabi noticed it. His throat went dry.

“It’s alright, Xabs.” Sergio said, smiling. “In a hurry?” He asked. He was blocking the hallway. Xabi bit his lip.

“I was just-”

“Following Gerrard?” He asked. Xabi’s face became stone cold.

“None of your business.” Sergio’s smirk didn’t disappear. If anything, it widened.

“I was only going to tell you that which way he went but if you aren’t looking for him-”

“Which-” Xabi stopped his question when Sergio took a step forward. “Which way did he go?” Xabi asked.

“You know,” Sergio began, “we used to be so close.” He took another step forward. Xabi sneered.

“Yeah, before you fucked Mikel.” Xabi spat.

“See, I thought that, now that Steven is fucking you, that we could put that behind us.” Xabi remained quiet. “I mean, assuming he is the one doing the fucking. Mikel said that you hadn’t-”

“Stop it.” Xabi’s hands went up and shoved Sergio back a few steps. Sergio’s hands came up and wrapped around Xabi’s wrists.

“We were friends, Xabi.”

“Were.” Xabi said, yanking his hands away. “I am no where near ready to forgive you.”

“I was only giving him what he needed.”

“He needed me!” Xabi yelled. His chest was constricting. They never talked about it, neither of them had brought up what had happened. They both had avoided the topic numerous times. Why now? Why here?

“Hey!” Steven’s voice rang out suddenly, his body coming between Sergio and Xabi, effectively yanking them apart. “Back the fuck off, Sergio.” Xabi shoved back in front of Steven, pushing Sergio again.

“Leave me the fuck alone.” He all but whispered.

Steven grabbed onto Xabi’s arms, dragging him away. Xabi went with him easily, tearing his eyes away from Sergio as they rounded another corner.

“What, exactly, was that about?” Steven asked as they walked. Xabi blushed, embarrassed.

“He, well-”

“Was acting like Sergio?” He supplied. Xabi smiled as Steven’s arm slid down his and found Xabi’s fingers.

“He thought since we were... together that he and I would be okay.”

“Maybe he is high. You know that Pepe snuck potbrownies on the ferry.” Steven suggested. He didn’t like how upset Xabi looked, how he lashed out at Sergio. Steven opened the unisex bathroom door, letting Xabi walk in first. He shut the door, then locked it. As soon as he did, Xabi’s lips were on him, his hands cupping Steven’s face as it deepened. Steven let him as Xabi pushed him against the door. Steven’s hands made their way to Xabi’s back pockets, his hands gripping Xabi’s ass through the fabric as Xabi continued kissing him. When Xabi broke the kiss, his hands immediately left Steven’s face and went for his belt, using a little more force than was necessary. Steven started to do the same, but Xabi squirmed back. Apparently he had other ideas. Steven grunted as Xabi dropped to his knees before him.

“Jesus.” Steven said as he looked down at Xabi. He had his hands on his thighs as he looked up at him, his lips already wet and red. Steven’s mouth was dry as he licked his lips, remembering to breathe. Xabi leaned forward, pressing his mouth and cheek against Steven’s briefs, leaving open mouthed kisses a long the outline of Steven’s cock. Panting, Steven’s fingers raked through Xabi’s hair as he watched him take his time, nipping at the fabric as he looked up at Steven. Steven’s hands left Xabi’s hair to tug his own briefs down his thighs.

Xabi’s hot, wet mouth was on him within seconds as if he had been waiting the entire time for Steven to reveal himself. Without using his hands, which were still on his thighs, Xabi took Steven into his mouth. Shallow at first, Xabi bobbed his head and worked Steven deeper down his throat. He stilled for a moment, then pulled back and gasped for breath. Steven couldn’t help but reach out and put his thumb against Xabi’s bottom lip, wiping the saliva away that had been connecting Xabi’s mouth to him. Xabi let him slid his thumb across his lip as he panted, catching his breath as he looked up at him.

Xabi moaned as if impatient, and Steven’s hand wrapped around Xabi’s neck, bringing him forward again. Xabi’s sucked and lapped at Steven until he felt his balls tightening, until he felt the chill go up his spine that made his toes curl.

“Xabi, Xabi.” Steven said through baited breath as a warning. Xabi backed off, his hands coming up finally and wrapping around Steven, jacking him off through his climax. Steven grunted as ropes of come spilled out of him in waves, landing on Xabi’s hands and face. Xabi milked it out of him, taking him back into his mouth after he was through, cleaning his cock with his tongue.

When he was done, Steven dropped to the floor with him, he unzipped Xabi’s pants, revealing Xabi’s achingly hard cock by pulling it through the opening of his briefs. Steven’s hands cupped Xabi’s face as he kissed him, tasting himself on Xabi’s lips. He wiped his fingers over Xabi’s face, cleaning him then reached down, using the mess as a make shift lube to ease his movements as he began jacking Xabi off. Xabi had his eyes closed, his hands going behind him as he leaned against them to hold him up. He was still on his knees as Steven stroked him, twisting his wrist and thumbing over his head. Steven kissed Xabi’s neck, nipping at his skin as he worked his erection. Xabi began moving his hips, thrusting upwards into Steven’s hand. When Steven’s teeth grazed underneath Xabi’s ear, he came with a shuttering breath. Their lips crashed together as Steven kept working Xabi’s spent cock, kissing until they had to take a breath of air.

They couldn’t help but let out a laugh when they finally broke apart. Steven helped Xabi up by giving him a hand. They were a sticky mess, their hair all over the place and clothes disheveled.

“I think, I think I could fall asleep now.” Xabi said as he washed his hands then righted himself. He looked in the mirror, knowing fully well that he looked exactly like someone who had just given a blow job: completely debauched.

“Me too.” Steven said as his arms wrapped around Xabi, bringing him close. Xabi’s arms came up behind Steven, his hands on Steven’s shoulder as he buried his face into Steven’s shirt, breathing him in. He smiled when he realized he was still wearing Steven’s shirt. He felt Steven kiss his forehead.

“So, London.” Xabi whispered. Steven nodded.

“London.” Steven said, with a certain amount of finality before they made their way back to their chairs. They had to sleep before they reached Harwich.


	18. Chapter 18

Xabi woke up by Steven’s hand resting on his arm. It was a jolt, as he was in a deep sleep. Xabi’s hands immediately went up to his own face, wiping the sleep away.

“Hmm?” He asked as he sat up, remembering that they were on the ferry.

“We’re almost there.” Steven said. His voice sounded distant. Xabi grunted in recognition. He was exhausted. “Kenny just came by to let us know that and that once we get to London we’re not checking into a hotel until three.” Xabi nodded. He was not awake enough for information.

“‘s everyone doing?” Xabi asked. Steven shrugged.

“We have time to figure out what you want to do, we have to catch a train once we get into Harwich.” Xabi sighed. He wanted to go back to sleep, to take a shower. He yawned, licked his lips. He needed to brush his teeth, massively. He got up and digged through his bag until he found his toiletries bag. He brought it to the bathroom, and brushed his teeth. He thought about what he wanted to do in London. Did he want to go the museum route? British Museum, Tate Modern, National Gallery, Victoria and Albert? Did he want to see the London Eye, Tower of London? Did he want to go to Trafalgar Square, Greenwich, The Globe Theatre? It depended what part of London they were going to, surely. Xabi sighed as he rinsed his mouth. There was so much to do, really, and almost no time. He looked at himself in the mirror as he shaved, still wearing Steven’s shirt from the day before. He didn’t want to take it off, not until they got to the hotel. He wanted to feel as close as he could to Steven, while there was still time.

When he got back to his seat, Steven was talking to Jamie about what to do.

“I don’t know about you lad, but I am thinking of just going to the cinema or fuck around until three. The amount of times I have been to London with the family...”

“Well I haven’t been in ages.”

“We could play a game of five aside in Hyde Park, yeah?” Jamie suggested. “I bet Danny would be up for that, or John.” Steven bit his lip, looking at Xabi.

“Well, we have a bit to think about it.” He stated.

When the ferry docked, they all boarded a train that would take them to Liverpool Street Station. The ride would be around ninety minutes and Steven was seated with Xabi, Jamie, and Gareth Bale. Xabi had his iPad out and was messing around Google Maps, looking to see what he wanted to do, and how far apart everything was.

“There is so much.” He said as he moved his finger around the map, looking to see how far Piccadilly was from The Globe, where the London Eye was compared to the Tower of London. He typed in “University College London”, just to see where it was, compared to everything. He bit his lip, staring down at the iPad, thinking.

“I think you would like the Tower of London.” Steven stated. Xabi smiled at him, nodding.

“I was thinking about that. I was also thinking Trafalgar Square. Unrelated, it would be cool to see Trafalgar Tavern, where Charles Dickens went all the time but...” Xabi sighed, his finger dragging over the map. “It is in Greenwich and that is almost an hour by tube from Trafalgar Square and Piccadilly.”

“Well it will take a good half an hour to get from Liverpool Street Station to Trafalgar Square. It is up to you.” Steven stated.

“It will take forever to get anywhere.” Jamie laughed. “We’ll be in Hyde Park, being lazy asses while you two waltz around London being touristy.” Xabi stuck his tongue out. He wanted to do everything, basically. But his mind kept going back to UCL, about how maybe, just maybe.... he shouldn’t worry too much about being a tourist and just try to spend time with Steven.

“Would you rather play five a side?” Xabi asked. Steven shrugged.

“I mean, yeah. Footie... but it isn’t every day you’re in London.” He said, smiling. Xabi bit his lip, and nodded.

When they got into Liverpool Street Station, they got onto the Central Line. They were spreading apart as Sergio, Alvaro, Raul Albiol, and Pepe went to the Tower of London, Daniel Agger, Martin Skrtel, Martin Kelly, Raul Meireles, and Esteban went to Camden. Wayne, Gareth, John, Jamie, and Andy stayed with Steven and Xabi since they were going to Hyde Park. Stevie and Xabi got off at Trafalgar Square where Xabi insisted they go to Sherlock Holmes’ Pub strictly because of the name. They then went to the National Gallery, Steven knew that he wouldn’t be able to avoid at least one museum.

Next Xabi looked up how to visit 221b Baker Street. He demanded that it had to be done. Steven wasn’t one to say no to Xabi, not when his eyes lit up like they did. From there they went to Oxford Street and by that time it was nearing three. When they got to their hotel they noticed Vicente and Kenny in the lobby, surrounded by everyone’s luggage. They handed Xabi and Steven their room keys. Xabi was rooming with Esteban and Steven with Alvaro Arbeloa. They grabbed their bags and walked to the elevator, pushing their respective buttons to their floors.

“Shower, then make plans?” Steven asked. Xabi nodded. He was leaning on Steven, his head on his shoulder. He wanted to tell Steven that there could be a chance that he got accepted to UCL, he wanted to tell him he might be close. What if he didn’t get in, though? What if Steven scoffed at him and said that this was only a holiday fling. Xabi knew deep down that Steven wouldn’t scoff, that he would smile and kiss him. But if he didn’t get in then it would be like putting salt not only in his wounds, but in Steven’s as well. He didn’t want to make this harder than it already was. His floor came up first, his lips found Steven’s easily before he exited the elevator.

“I’ll text.” Xabi said as he watched the elevator doors shut. He sighed, then started walking towards his hotel room. It was empty, Esteban’s things weren’t there yet. He was still in Camden. He grabbed his things, and got into the shower. He felt numb as the water slid down his body. All good things must come to an end, it is better to love and lost than to never have loved... cliches ran through Xabi’s mind, his face contorting and hating every thought that ran through his mind.

Steven found Alvaro to be already in their room when he walked in. He was sitting on his bed, fresh out of a shower. He smiled a greeting at Steven.

“Alright, Stevie?” He asked. Steven nodded. “What did you do with your morning?” He asked, putting the book he was reading, A Storm Of Swords, down.

“We went to Piccadilly, Trafalgar, Sherlock Holmes’ place...” He shrugged as he grabbed clean clothes and his toiletries bag. “You lot?” He asked.

“Did the touristy thing. Tower of London, Parliament, Big Ben, the London Eye... Buckingham...” He trailed off, picking his book back up.

Steven walked into the bathroom and turned the water on. He thought about what to do the rest of the day. He thought of places Xabi would want to go, things he would like to see. The Palaces, surely. At least a few of them. No doubt the others would be going to a club later, it was Saturday night in London for fuck’s sake. Steven kept his thoughts on what to do, not shifting to the feelings that were threatening to resurface, the reminder of what tomorrow meant.

He showered fast, pulling his clothes on then walking back into the room to grab his phone. Xabi hadn’t texted yet. Without thinking, he went ahead and texted him: ‘I’m coming down to yours.’ then grabbed socks and shoes.

“Want Xabi to text you when we decide where we are going? What are you doing the rest of the night?” Steven asked.

“Raul is taking a nap, I think we are going around Piccadilly and everything you two did this morning. No worries about asking us along.” Alvaro said, smiling. Steven nodded then headed out the door.

Xabi got out of the shower, wrapped a towel around his waist and checked his phone. He barely read the text before there was a knock at his door. Xabi grinned, opening the door to see Steven standing before him.

“That was fast.” He said, smirking as he let Steven in. Steven kissed him, his hand on Xabi’s stomach. Xabi’s eyes fluttered momentarily, his breath hitched in his throat. His mind suddenly was void of all thought as he shut the door. Steven’s hands on him made all blood flow down to his crotch. He licked his lips, willing Steven to kiss him again. Steven’s hands cupped Xabi’s face, doing just that. Xabi’s hands grasped at Steven’s shirt, bunching it between his fists, tugging and yanking him closer as the kiss deepened.

“I was thinking,” Steven said between kissing Xabi’s lips, his cheek, his neck, “about taking you to the Tate Modern,” his shoulder, his lips again, “The Globe is by there,” nipping at Xabi’s ear, the pad of Steven’s tongue against his pulse point, “I want to see the London Dungeon.” He stated, his fingers raking through Xabi’s hair, tugging slightly and making Xabi gasp with his mouth open as Steven ravished his skin.

“I-” Xabi’s fingers unclenched, dropping Steven’s shirt as he wet his lips, “I think that those things sound-”, he stopped mid-sentence as his fingers deftly unzipped Steven’s pants. “Amazing, but I think I would rather you fuck me.” Xabi said, his voice raspy. Steven grunted, pressing his body against Xabi’s, yanking the towel away. Xabi moaned as Steven’s lips found his again, he pulled Steven’s jeans down, along with his briefs. Steven stepped out of his jeans, then pulled his shirt over his head so that they were both naked. Xabi broke the kiss and practically ran into the bathroom for the lube and a condom. When he came back into the room he immediately got on his bed, on his knees, and put his head on the bed so that his ass was in the air. Steven bit his lip, loving how eager Xabi was.

“You would rather stay in and fuck then go look at-”

“Yes.” Xabi stated, his voice dripping with want. Steven crawled onto the bed, taking the lube from Xabi’s hand, dragging his fingers down Xabi’s spine. His tongue left a trail as well, sucking and lapping at his skin as he opened the small bottle that was now almost gone. He ghosted his index and middle fingers over Xabi’s hole, stroking up and down, spreading the lube, teasing him. Xabi moaned, his eyes closing at the feeling as he took two of his own fingers into his mouth to silence himself. Steven inserted a finger, prepping Xabi slowly. Xabi mewed, hips rolling back onto Steven. What if this was it? His eyes opened, he groaned as Steven pressed another finger inwards, his body moving with Steven’s thrusts. “Stevie.” He whispered, over and over as Steven spread him wide, adding a third. Xabi hummed, wanting to remember every touch.

Steven bent over, nipping at Xabi’s ass, marking him. The noises Xabi was making, completely letting go of all inhibitions, were making him drip. He stroked himself, smearing the precome over his head as he fucked Xabi with the fingers of his other hand.

“You want me to fuck you?” Steven asked, his lips kissing Xabi on the shoulder. Xabi nodded his head vigorously.

“Fuck me.”

Steven pulled his hand away from Xabi, taking the condom from Xabi’s hand and rolled it on. He uncapped the lube, adding more to his cock before he entered him. With a hand on Xabi’s lower back, Steven began fucking him. Xabi squirmed underneath him, trying to move but Steven held Xabi down, moving slow then fast, changing the rhythm every so often, not keeping it the same. Xabi was a litany of gasps and moans, the sounds changing with the movement of Steven’s thrusts. When Steven pulled out, Xabi keened, immediately turning over and climbing into Steven’s lap as he lay onto his back. Straddling Steven, Xabi kissed him, his hands on either side of Steven’s head as he held himself up. Steven aligned himself with Xabi’s entrance, thrusting upwards. Xabi pushed down, impaling himself repeatedly as he sat up. Steven fucked him hard, watching Xabi’s cock bounce as he moved. Steven held onto Xabi’s waist, gaining momentum. With one hand by Steven’s head, the other wrapped around his own cock, index finger and thumb working himself fast. Xabi was close, his teeth deep in his bottom lip and his eyes closed tight, he came all over Steven’s chest. Steven slowed down, but didn’t stop fucking him. Xabi leaned over, cleaning up the mess he made, licking every last drop up as Steven rode his own orgasm.

He rolled Xabi over, pulling out slowly, then got rid of the condom. Xabi limply went wherever Steven wanted him to. Steven wrapped his arms around Xabi, kissing his forehead.

“Not enough time for the Tate.” Steven whispered. Xabi chuckled, barely audible.

“We can go tomorrow.” He said, his eyes drifting shut. Steven found Xabi’s lips, and captured them.

Steven didn’t know when he fell asleep, but he sure as hell knew when he woke up. It was when Esteban walked in and declared his presence with a resounding:

“Fucking put a sock on the door!” He bellowed. Steven woke up and immediately blushed, embarrassed. Xabi bolted out of the bed.

“Can you give us a fucking minute, Pirata?” He shouted, pushing his roommate out. Steven rolled out of the bed and grabbed his clothes, flinging them on. Xabi pulled on a pair of briefs and a shirt, then opened the door. “Sorry.”

“I am scarred for life.”

“Are not, fucker.” Xabi teased. Xabi didn’t seem the least bit embarrassed where as Steven felt like he was going to die at any moment.

“Just because you guys fucked until you passed out does not mean that it is okay for me to walk in and see your nakedness.” Esteban said, while making a face. “That and Steven’s cock is bigger than your-”

“Shut up, Pirata. You aren’t helping anything!” Xabi exclaimed, but was grinning while holding back laughter. “We’re clothed now, so drop it.” He walked back over to Steven, putting a hand on his stomach for reassurance. “What did you do all day?” He asked. Esteban beamed.

“We went to Camden Market, it was awesome. Also, there was this store called Cyberdog and you would fucking flip. It is this ravers store or something and they have the most cracked out clothes with like, music censors or LED screens in them that move to the tempo of the music and they play the music really loud and I felt like I was back at that rave again and I almost bought one of those shirts because it would have been fucking-”

“Calm down.” Xabi laughed. “Was that all you did?”

“Fuck yeah it was all we did, it was awesome. What the fuck did you do? Fuck all day?” Esteban asked. Xabi stuck his tongue out.

“No, we went to Piccadilly, and Trafalgar Square and to-”

“Okay, you did more things. You win.” Esteban cut him off. “So I think Danny, the Martin’s, Raul, and I are going to Covent Garden, you two should come.” He said, seriously. “We were just dropping our things off and changing. I think the others are all meeting there, too. You know since tomorrow-”

“Yeah, that sounds fun.” Xabi said, now cutting Esteban off. He didn’t want to remind Steven that what they had just done was probably the last-

“Well I am going to change.” Esteban said, grabbing a clean pair of clothes. “Don’t fuck in the meantime.” He joked. Steven cracked a smile as Esteban shut the door.

“I last longer than that.” He mused. Xabi beamed, wrapping his arms around him, resting his head on Steven’s shoulder. He closed his eyes and breathed him in.

“You do.” Xabi said, his lips on Steven’s neck. He felt Steven sigh as he wrapped his arms around Xabi.

They met everyone downstairs, where they all walked to the tube together. Covent Garden had lots of restaurants to choose from, along with street performers and musicians everywhere.

“I think we should get Tapas.” John Terry suggested.

“You’re off your rocker, Tapas in London? Won’t compare to Spain, mate.” Jamie chided.

“Why not just eat at a Spoons?” Andy suggested, which was shot down.

“I just want a fucking kebab.” Gareth stated.

“Why not just... pick a bar or something?” Alvaro suggested. They walked around until they found a restaurant that wouldn’t cost them an arm and a leg to eat at, Bloomsbury Street Bar and Restaurant. While eating, they discussed what they would do their last night together.

“Okay, where to lads?” Jamie asked.

“Why not just a pub night. We could go to Big Red, Intrepid Fox, The World’s End...” Daniel Agger trailed off.

“And be tortured with Maiden and Manowar all night? Fuck off, you. We gotta show them China White, it’s where the footballers go!” Johny Terry suggested.

“Fucking expensive and too much fake tan.” Martin Skrtel interjected.

“Fine, then. Tiger Tiger?” John said.

“Less exspensive, but even more fake tan!” Martin chided.

"SeOne?" Andy asked as he took a sip of his beer.

"You want to get stabbed?" Raul scoffed. “No.”

" Fine, how about Movida?" Was Andy’s second suggestion.

"Stop with the hip-hop!" Jamie scolded. “No one wants to listen to that shit.”

"Ministry of Sound?" Steven suggested, hopeful.

"Too far." Jamie said, shaking his head.

"Metro?" Steven asked, exasperated. They had to pick somewhere.

"We want somewhere decent not a grotty basement." Jamie said. Steven put his hands up in defeat.

"Matter?" Raul Meireles suggested.

"No more raves! Besides I think that place closed...and NO Fabric either!" Jamie said, apparently he had become the leader for the night.

"So no Heaven?" Raul asked, pouting a little bit.

"Fuck you gay boys...Heaven...you serious?" John Terry spat.

"...but Sugababes are performing..." Gareth whispered, barely audible.

"What about Passing Clouds?" Raul inquired.

"What is that?" Jamie asked.

"You have to know someone to get in, you can smoke inside they do great jam sessions, it's up in Dalston." Raul said, sounding excited.

"Fuck you and your pretentious hipster bollocks...we need more mainstream." Jamie said, shaking his head. This was going no where, fast.

"Stables Market? They have stripper poles with lights under 'em IN the actual horse stables!" Andy said, lighting up.

"How is that supposed to be appealing? Camden is a good place to start though..." Martin Skrtel asked, making a disgusted face.

"Koko? Mainstream enough and sound tunes." Martin Kelly piped up.

"Perfect." Daniel Agger said, nodding. “Let’s go there.”

“I’m in.” Jamie said. “Vote? All for Koko?” Everyone raised their hands. They had to hop onto the Northern Line, but they weren’t far from Koko by the time they finished eating and drinking. Once they were in line, Daniel was gathering up cash to go for an alcohol run.

“Alright you lot, it is a fucking trek to the offy from here so you better cough up the money for what you want, I am not going back.” He said as Martin got their orders.

“I could go.” Andy offered. Daniel made a face.

“Like we trust you with our money.” He scoffed. Andy shrugged, then handed over his money.

Once they were back, everyone started drinking as fast as they could since they couldn’t bring what they bought inside with them. Wayne Rooney was chugging a cheap bottle of wine, David Villa was drinking wine coolers which got him mocked relentlessly.

“I am secure enough in my masculinity to drink whatever the fuck I want.” He gushed. David Silva was drinking them with him as if they were just drinking juice. Pepe told them that they were indeed, just drinking juice. Everyone else was just drinking beer and talking shit to pass the time. When they got in, they trashed whatever remained. Xabi had a sufficient body buzz happening and immediately went to the bar to get another drink. He had his hand on Steven the entire time he ordered, his fist balled up in Steven’s shirt, holding on for dear life. He didn’t want to let him go.

There were three levels, all open with red walls and gold accents. Music filled the air, bodies moving to the beat of the sound. Black couches lined the walls, where Daniel Agger and Martin Kelly made themselves comfortable. Andy already found a cute blonde he was hitting up, who was apparently from Bolton. Raul and Esteban were on the dance floor, immersing themselves in the music. Steven dragged Xabi up to the second floor, which was still packed, but he knew that Xabi would like to look down and watch everyone below them dance. Xabi went up to a railing and looked over, smiling as he people watched. Steven came up behind him, his arms to either side of him, and pressed his body against Xabi’s. His lips found Xabi’s shoulder, kissing him once there, closing his eyes.

Tomorrow this would be gone. He inhaled and exhaled. He had been so good, all day. Now though, he wanted nothing more than for the next day not to happen. He didn’t want this to be over. Xabi’s fingers wrapped around Steven’s wrist, moving his hand to Xabi’s waist. Xabi leaned back against Steven and began to move. They were dancing, in public, together. This was not like at the rave, when everyone was dancing and no one cared. This was them, not quite drunk and not at all high, wanting to be close to each other for as long as they possibly could. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, rang through Steven’s head. Endless hopelessness engulfed him as Xabi turned around so he was facing Steven. Unselfconsciously, Xabi kissed him.

When he broke the kiss, his lips moved to Steven’s ear.

“I love you.” He whispered, his arms wrapped around Steven’s waist. Steven closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Xabi’s. Tomorrow, tomorrow.

“I don’t want-” Xabi stopped Steven from continuing.

“I don’t want it either.” He said, his fingers raking through Steven’s hair. “But we can worry tomorrow.” He added.

They went back down stairs, got more to drink, then joined the others on the dance floor. They stayed until the club closed at four in the morning, the security guards kicked them out. The tube was still closed and they, along with everyone else who was left in the club, waited for the N29 bus. They boarded the bendy bus, which was packed and standing room only.

“Watch your belongings, yeah?” Steven reminded Xabi. “Don’t want to be pick pocketed on your last night.” He said. Xabi nodded. He was leaning on Steven, barely awake. Xabi was positive he had fallen asleep on one of the couches, practically sitting in Steven’s lap. He pouted, he wanted to be in his bed.

“I want to go to the Tate Modern.” Xabi said after a few minutes of silence. “And The Globe, and you... you wanted to go to the dungeon.” He slurred, his eyes were closed. Steven nodded.

“We will, I promise. Just need a few hours of sleep.”

“I want to sleep in your bed.” Xabi said. Steven shook his head.

“I don’t think Alvaro will appreciate that, lad.” He laughed. Xabi scoffed, his arms tightening around Steven.

“No.” Xabi said. Steven just kissed his forehead. He wasn’t going to argue with Xabi now, especially about how he wanted to sleep with him.

It took what felt like forever for them to get to their hotel and reluctantly, when Esteban and Xabi’s floor came up, Steven transferred Xabi’s body weight onto the not so sober Esteban. Xabi was practically asleep, anyways, so there wasn’t a fuss about him going with Esteban. It all happened fast, anyways. Before Steven knew it, the elevator doors shut and he and the others that were left were heading up to their rooms.

Once he was in bed, he couldn’t fall asleep. Sharing a bed with Xabi had been so nice. Suddenly having a full sized bed to yourself felt lonely, like too much room. Steven didn’t know when he fell asleep, all he knew is that the sun was beginning to come up.


	19. Chapter 19

Steven woke up by a loud banging on the door, and Alvaro groaning in the bed next to him. He rolled out of bed, ridding himself from the sleep in his eyes as he stumbled to the door. Squinting, he opened it to find Xabi standing there, grinning.

“Hey.” He said, wetting his lips as he looked Steven up and down. Steven looked down, he was in only his briefs.

“Hey, you.” He said, his voice scratchy and hoarse from sleep. Xabi stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Steven as they walked into the room. They kissed, Steven’s fingers raking through Xabi’s hair.

“You two know I am here, right?” Alvaro said, a hint of amusement in his voice. Xabi laughed, his hand groping Steven’s ass, plainly visible. Alvaro groaned, rolling over and covering his head with his pillow. Steven kissed Xabi’s forehead.

“I’m going to get ready.” He said, grabbing clothes and walking into the bathroom. Xabi sat down on Steven’s bed, then plopped his head down on Steven’s pillow. After a few seconds, he dragged his legs up onto the bed and wrapped his arms around the pillow, burying his head further into it and inhaling. Steven, Steven, Steven.

By the time Steven came out of the bathroom, ready to go, Xabi didn’t want to leave. He sat up, side eyeing Alvaro for unknowingly cockblocking them. Steven was smiling, though, which made everything feel alright.

“We off to the Tate Modern, then?” Steven asked. Xabi bit his lip, and nodded.

“I suppose.” He whispered as they walked out, leaving Alvaro to sleep. Steven checked his phone.

“Is it really only ten, Xabi?” He asked. Xabi nodded. “We got back at 5:30!” He exclaimed. Xabi shrugged.

“If you slept longer, we wouldn’t have much time-” Steven stopped Xabi from talking by kissing him. Xabi fell into the kiss, closing his eyes and losing himself to the feeling of Steven’s body pressed against his. He wouldn’t have this for much longer, now. When they reached the elevator it had other hotel patrons in it, so they just stood next to each other, their fingers barely touching.

They walked to the tube in silence, neither knowing what really to say to the other. They had mere hours left, time was their enemy now and they knew it. There was no avoiding it. Xabi’s camera was in his hands, snapping pictures of random shops as they made their way to the tube. Once they were on, Xabi started fidgeting and gnawing at his bottom lip worriedly.

“Xabi, you alright?” Steven asked, his hand resting on Xabi’s leg to keep his foot from bouncing. Xabi nodded, but then shrugged.

“I just, I mean.” He sighed deeply. “Steven I don’t want to go to the Tate.”

“Alright, you still want to go to the Globe?” Steven asked. Xabi shook his head.

“We should have gone to the Tower of London.”

“No, Stevie-”

“The London Eye?”

“Steven stop.” Xabi said, his voice sharp. Steven shut his jaw, and listened.

“I want to go back.”

“Where? To Trafalgar Square?” He asked, perplexed. Xabi shook his head and looked at his fingers.

“To the hotel.”

“Did you forget something?” Steven asked, seriously. Xabi gave him a small smile, not at all a happy one.

“No, I would just rather-”

“Alright.” Steven said. Xabi looked at him, his mouth twitching. “Next stop, we’ll get off and turn around.”

“Really?” Xabi asked. Steven nodded.

“Of course. If you want to skip the Tate to fuck, I am not stopping you.”

“What about the dungeon?” Xabi asked. Steven scoffed.

“I could care less now.” Steven said, laughing.

By the time they got back to the hotel, it was nearing eleven. When the elevator doors opened to take them upstairs, out walked Jamie, Pepe, and David Villa with David Silva.

“Perfect! Come on lads, we’re getting an early lunch before we head out for a few.” Jamie said, grabbing Steven by the neck and turning them around.

“Jamie, we’re not really-”

“Did you eat?” Jamie asked. Steven shook his head.

“Then you’re coming. We need hangover food, ASAP.” Pepe interjected. Steven looked back at Xabi who fell slightly behind. Xabi was smiling, and took a picture of Steven looking at him.

“Food sounds good.” Xabi said, catching up to the group. Xabi and Steven exchanged looks, silently telling the other that there was still time.

Greasy food when hungover tastes amazing, especially when you are surrounded by your friends. Esteban and Raul showed up, as did Alvaro and Raul Albiol. They kept pulling up chairs to the table, happy that others came along. Andy showed up, which was a miracle because he had apparently not made it back to the hotel at all the night before.

He was going on and on about another club that he had somehow disappeared to without anyone noticing, and about the amount of glitter there was there.

“My crotch is like a fucking disco ball right now.” He said as he downed Esteban’s orange juice.

“That is fucking disgusting.” Jamie said, but was laughing his ass off. Xabi scrunched his nose up, making a face. He dropped a few bills on the table and stood up.

“I think, um, we’re going to go.” He stated, standing up. Steven added a few more bills to the table.

“Where are you two headed?” Pepe asked. Xabi and Steven exchanged looks. Lie, or tell the truth? Hours left, even less now.

“To the hotel.” Steven stated. Hoots and hollars happened all over the table, claps and cheers. Steven grinned and Xabi feigned being coy about it.

“Get it, Stevie.” Esteban yelled as they walked out the door. Steven’s face was beet red as they walked down the street, back towards the hotel. Almost twelve thirty, now. Steven’s heart beat was in his throat.

They walked in what felt like slow motion, the elevator ride was a blur, as was them walking into Xabi’s room to find his room mate missing. Xabi’s things were packed neatly. Steven sat on the bed as Xabi unzipped his luggage, getting out his toiletry bag, tossing Steven the remainder of the lube, a condom. Xabi stripped his shirt off before he walked over to Steven, then straddled his lap with his feet still planted on the ground. Steven looked up at him, his fingers already at Xabi’s zipper.

“I love you.” Steven said, looking into Xabi’s eyes. Xabi bit his lip, his head falling back, his eyes closing, as Steven’s fingers wrapped around him. Xabi had his hands on his hips as he felt Steven shove his jeans down his legs. Xabi stepped out of them easily. Steven stroked Xabi as his mouth sucked and marked Xabi’s hip bones and skin. Steven’s mouth was on Xabi’s head, his hands pushing against Xabi’s waist, keeping him back, keeping him from thrusting too far inwards. Shallowly, Xabi fucked Steven’s mouth. The noises that were coming from Steven’s mouth were making Xabi harder than he already was, pops and sucking, wet and lewd.

“Jesus, Stevie, please I want you to-” Steven pressed forward at that, taking Xabi down as far as he could, and holding him there. Xabi moaned, tugging on Steven’s hair, trying to pull him back so he could breathe. Steven pulled Xabi towards him, though, going even deeper before finally coming up for air, coughing and gasping. His lips were red, puffy, and dripping wet. Xabi bent over and kissed him, almost dropping to his knees before Steven stopped him from doing so.

Xabi gasped as Steven spun him around so that his back was facing Steven.

“Spread your legs.” Steven all but ordered. Xabi did it immediately. Steven stood up from the bed, and took his shirt off as he walked over to the chair and set it in front of Xabi. “Bend over and lean onto that.” He said, as he leaned over and kissed him lightly on the lips. He pulled his own jeans down as he walked back over to the bed, and sat down. Xabi was bent over in front of him as he sat on the edge of the bed, his legs spread. Steven spread Xabi wide with his hands, rubbing two fingers over his entrance before his mouth met it. Xabi groaned, dropping his head down, his knuckles white as he held onto the chair. Steven licked from Xabi’s balls up to his cleft, slowly, almost agonizingly. Xabi squirmed, bending over farther, sticking his ass in the air. Steven breached him, licking his lips before he did so. Xabi was warm and willing, opening easily for him now.

Steven backed away, rubbing his thumb against Xabi’s hole, then pressing in. Xabi bucked his hips forward, not expecting a digit just yet. Steven pulled it out, replacing it with his mouth once more.

“Stevie, Stevie please.” Xabi pleaded. Steven pulled back, his hand caressing Xabi’s ass and lower back as the other reached for the lube. Xabi sighed when he heard it uncap. Almost empty, Steven squeezed it for all its worth until enough came out of it. He spread it over Xabi’s hole, then pressed inwards, spreading him with one finger then two. Steven raked his teeth over Xabi’s ass as he fucked him with his fingers. Xabi was panting, moving along with Steven, adding friction.

“I’m going to miss you.” Steven couldn’t stop himself. Xabi didn’t stop moving, though, he nodded his head.

“Yes, me too. Don’t stop.” He said, sounding out of breath. Steven kissed Xabi’s lower back, pulling his fingers out so that he could put a condom on. When he did, Xabi twisted, not changing the direction he was facing, so that he could guide himself down. He pulled the chair forward so he had something to put his body weight against, then began riding Steven, backwards. Steven’s hands went to Xabi’s waist, letting him dictate the rhythm. Steven’s mouth was on Xabi’s shoulder, he pulled him against his chest as they moved. Xabi let go of the chair so he was sitting upright. His hands went to the bed sheets, clenching them in his fists as his head fell back onto Steven’s shoulder as Steven fucked up into him. With his mouth hanging open, Xabi moaned continuously as Steven marked his neck and shoulder, not knowing which he wanted more. Xabi’s hand reached up, finding Steven’s mouth. Steven sucked on two of Xabi’s fingers as he fucked him.

Steven began to shift, rolling over to the side. Xabi pulled out, making the move easier. Laying flat on his stomach, his legs spread, Steven reentered him, putting his weight down onto Xabi. Back to chest, Steven began fucking him again. Xabi reached a hand back, putting his hand on Steven’s head as Steven put his lips against Xabi’s shoulder once more.

Steven wrapped an arm around Xabi, this time his fingers finding Xabi’s mouth. Xabi took them in readily, sucking for all he was worth as Steven moved against him.

“I love you.” Steven whispered.

Xabi teared up, releasing Steven’s fingers from his mouth as he gasped. He all but shouted as Steven hit his prostate not once, but twice in a row. Xabi moaned, burying his head against the sheets, letting the tears fall freely. Steven pulled out of him, making Xabi feel the vacancy all too fast for his liking. He flipped over, his arms reaching out for him as if his life depended on the contact. Steven’s hand cupped Xabi’s face, his thumb wiping at the tears that fell, making Xabi smile up at him. Steven kissed him once, twice, three times before he backed up and brought Xabi’s legs into the air then put his hands on the bed. Xabi’s legs bent, locking around Steven’s arms as Steven reentered him.

Xabi’s hands shot up, cupping Steven’s face as Steven fucked him, hard. They watched each other, not saying anything as Steven pulled out and ripped the condom off. Xabi scrambled, making Steven sit with his legs crossed as he sat in his lap. Xabi brought their cocks together, stroking them both simultaneously. Steven’s hand wrapped around Xabi’s, helping him as their lips crashed together, their hips thrusting up into the palm of their hands. They came, Xabi a few seconds before Steven, their chests a mess and sticky as they continued kissing, riding their climaxes for as long as they could.

They fell into the bed, kissing, breathing, kissing as their hands yanked and pulled at each other’s hair, not wanting the end to come.

They lie there in silence, Xabi’s fingers drawing invisible patterns on Steven’s chest as Steven watched him do it, giving him kisses intermittently. Xabi sighed, and sat up.

“Steven.” He whispered, sadness seeping out of every pore.

“No, it isn’t time.” Steven said, looking at Xabi’s face. Xabi looked down at him, tears filling his eyes.

“Don’t make this harder than it is.” He said. Steven sat up, sighing as he looked at the clock. So little time now.

“We need to clean up.” He said, his voice quiet, void of emotion. Xabi stayed sitting as Steven walked into the bathroom to grab a wash cloth and wet it with warm water. Xabi’s lip quivered, if only slightly as the bed moved, Steven’s absence very much apparent. When Steven came back into the room, Xabi saw it: the look in Steven’s eye.

Steven sniffled as he handed Xabi the warm washcloth. Xabi wiped himself down, then Steven. He tossed the washcloth away, straddling Steven, holding onto him for dear life as he buried his face against Steven’s shoulder.

“I am sorry that I believed Sergio.” Xabi said, his voice muffled by Steven’s skin and the tears.

“What?” Steven asked, his arms around Xabi’s waist.

“Sergio, when I wasn’t talking to you. I am so fucking sorry.” He said. “We could have had more time-:

“No, no. We would have had the same amount of time.” Steven whispered. Xabi bit his lip. “Now, I have to go get my things. I will see you down in the lobby, yeah?” Steven asked. Xabi nodded, but didn’t let go of him. Steven tried to laugh, but it came out broken. “You have to let go of me.” He said, trying to sound lighter than he felt.

“No.” Xabi said, but moved anyways. Steven stood, grabbing his clothes and pulling them on. Xabi sat on the bed, pulling a leg up, putting his chin on it as he watched. Steven walked over, kissing Xabi again.

“I will see you downstairs.”

“Yeah.” Xabi murmured. Before he knew it, Steven was gone.

Not even fifteen minutes later, Xabi was downstairs with his bags. They were taking separate tubes, one to the train station, the other to the airport. Both were going on the Victoria Line, but in different directions. Steven was standing by Jamie, not looking at all like the Steven that Xabi had seen in the airport when they first met. Xabi walked over to them, but didn’t quite know what to say. Jamie put his arms around Xabi, hugging him.

“You take care of yourself, yeah?” Jamie said. Xabi nodded, smiling.

“You too, Carra.”

“Now, now. No goodbyes yet. We still have to get to the station!” Esteban said, walking up to them with his …. three luggages.

“What the fuck, Pirata?” Xabi asked. “How did you go from one bag to three?”

“I bought shit?” Esteban said, as if that was obvious.

“What kind of shit?” Xabi asked him. Esteban shrugged.

“I don’t remember.” He said, honestly.

The walk to the tube was quite a trek, but felt like it was over in an instant. Before they knew it, Xabi and Steven were standing in front of each other with no time left at all. Not even minutes left, but seconds. The Spaniards had said their farewells and were separating from the rest. Xabi ignored Pepe’s calls to hurry up, not wanting to break eye contact with Steven.

“I’m glad I met you.” Steven said, his face betraying him as to how hurt he was to be saying goodbye. Xabi looked away, hoping that would keep the tears from coming again. It didn’t.

“I love you.” Xabi said, hugging Steven, burying his head against his chest for the last time, breathing him in. Steven, his Steven. No one else’s. Steven’s arms around him felt like a blanket of comfort. Letting him know it was alright. He wouldn’t be alone, not really. He had Steven, if he wasn’t there.

He had him.

“I love you too.” Steven said, his voice shaky. Pepe was in the distance, yelling for Xabi. Xabi looked up at Steven, letting go. He grabbed his bag, then left.

The train back to Liverpool didn’t take long. Well, it took around three hours, but Steven hadn’t even realized that they had left by the time they got off. His parents were so happy to see him, his brother too. He had forgotten how much he had missed them, Xabi had made him push aside his homesickness while away. His mother wrapped her arms around him, welcoming home and all he could think of was Xabi.

The first thing Xabi did when he got home, after hugging his family hello, was sleep for fourteen hours straight. He crawled out of bed and showered, only to pull pajamas back on again. His mother knocked on his door, saying she was doing his laundry and found something that didn’t look like his. Xabi sat up, reaching his hand out for the garment. His mother handed him Steven’s shirt.

“Did you wash it?” He asked. She shook her head.

“Is it yours?” She asked. He shook his head, falling back onto the bed with it. “Want me to wash it?” She asked. He shook his head again.

“No.”

“Xabier-”

“No, not right now.” He said. She sighed, but let it be.

A few days later, Xabi got a text from Steven: ‘you took it, didn’t you?’

Epilogue

Xabi sat at the kitchen table, staring at the envelope in front of him for what seemed like ages. His parents were sitting across from him, waiting.

“Open it, Xabi.” They encouraged him. This was the school he was waiting to hear from. He had gotten into Glasgow, Barcelona, UAM, but this is the one he wanted most. He knew as soon as he walked around London. He wanted to go to the University College of London.

Xabi ripped the envelope open, reading the contents:

‘Dear Mr. Alonso, We are pleased to inform you that your application to...’

*-*-*-*

The very first weekend of the semester, Xabi made his way to the Tate Modern. He hadn’t been yet, and he had butterflies in his stomach. He took the Circle Line, his camera around his neck as he willed the pit in his stomach to subside. As he walked towards the Tate, his eyes were peeled. He looked and looked until his eyes fell upon him, his boyfriend. He broke into a run, holding onto his camera as he grinned.

Steven saw Xabi running towards him, and laughed. When they crashed together, their lips were on the other immediately. Months, it had been months since they saw each other in person. When Xabi called to tell Steven about UCL, he talked so fast that Steven could barely even understand him. Xabi asked where Steven was going, but Steven had told him that he was taking a gap year, to work.

They were going to take turns visiting each other. This week, the first week, Steven came to him. The Tate Modern, The Globe, and the London Dungeon was on the list. That of course, and a lot of alone time.

“Are you wearing my shirt?” Steven asked, the grin not leaving his face. Xabi bit his lip, and scoffed.

“I don’t know what you are talking about, this is now mine.” They kissed, not letting each other go.


End file.
